[stylist] Writers and depression

Tue Jan 27 20:06:31 UTC 2015

Vejas,

Firstly, everyone hates high school, grin.

Second, college definitely can be a place to find more like-minded people,
and many use college as a place to explore who they are, who they want to
be. But at the end of the day, school is school. Throughout life, you will
find many institutions-- university, work, social settings-- are high school
on a bigger, older level. You need to find your place in the world and
recognize what is important to you. Some of us stop playing the game, but
most do not, meaning caring so much what others think and allowing others to
affect your emotional state.

Family and close friends are certainly a better catalyst for discovering
emotional growth, but as an individual, we need to be our own emotional
check point because we won't always have those close to us around.

I think it's your 30's when you really start to pull your head out of your
derriere, grin. And for those of us who have kids, I think that really
drives priorities home.

But I'm a firm believer that we continue to evolve despite our age. We are
never done learning and growing.

Bridgit

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Vejas
Vasiliauskas via stylist
Sent: Monday, January 26, 2015 6:26 PM
To: EJ Kobek
Cc: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [stylist] Writers and depression

Hi Helen,
I agree with both what you and Bridgit.
There really is a fine line between unhappiness and depression, and from my
perspective as an 18-year-old I think that in teens it is hard to tell which
you are because of these raging hormones.
For me personally, when I am unhappy about something such as a class or
specific situation and it is resolved/over, I feel much better, but I think
that when it is happening I sometimes feel the unhappiness much more
strongly than others in that situation might, that may have something to do
with creativity.
On a much happier note I have heard that college is so much better than high
school...  I go to a large high school and have only one good friend from
elementary left and although I have some friends that share my interests,
they have their own friends too.  The school is really big and people who
have lots of friends don't really go and look for these who don't.  One of
the things that I like about my top college choice, though, is that it is
fairly small compared to other colleges, and there are only about 11-18
students in each class so you are considered more of an indivinchal.  It is
also very community-oriented as well, something which I think large high
schools couldn't do even if they tried.  (I even wrote a paper for class on
how we could make it so that every student at our school was happy and
treated as an individual there, which is virtually impossible) School can't
really help you with your emotional needs-that job seems to fall to your
family.) I also think it generally helps to talk it out with someone close
with whom you trust and that after you're a teenager it is much easier to
keep your emotions in check and you don't feel things so strongly.
Vejas
----- Original Message -----
From: EJ Kobek <ejkobek at gmail.com
To: Vejas Vasiliauskas <alpineimagination at gmail.com Date sent: Mon, 26 Jan
2015 17:56:44 -0500
Subject: Re: [stylist] Writers and depression

Hi, there, Vejas,

Thanks so much for your reply.  I'm so glad you are pulling through this
process and am inspired by how well you know yourself and what you are
facing that hurts and has hurt so much.  I'm with you on not ever wanting to
be medicated....weird subject to wander into on a writer's list, yet it's
not....people are constantly medicated out of feeling, rather than WRITING
about it!!! :-).  Keep up your inspired efforts, your clear view, your
fire-strong nature!

Warmly,

Helen

On Mon, Jan 26, 2015 at 11:00 AM, Vejas Vasiliauskas <
alpineimagination at gmail.com> wrote:

 Helen,
 I think that your point makes a lot of sense.
 I feel that people do not really understand the degree to which one is
unhappy because they can't step into your head and really understand it.
 The last half of junior year, for various reasons I did not like going to
my school (meaeaning the particular high-school campus I attend), and I
hated/dreaded going back after taking a vacation but always went in anyway.
 Well I've pulled through, still go to the same school and am happier with
it, but if my family really knew how unhappy I was at the time, I think I'd
be at this school today.  Much of it just had to do with what was going on
there at the time.
 I'm just giving this example because people know you are unhappy, but just
don't know HOW bad.
 I want to be an English teacher and an advice columnist for a newspaper,
and like reading Dear Abby in my spare time.  If someone wrote about being
unhappy, Abby would just advocate medicating them.
 Honestly, no matter how badly that I am feeling, I would never want to be
medicated.  I would be perfectly willing to talk out my problems but no, I
would not want to use medicine that would change me into some mechanical
person.  I've also heard that medication stalls your creative writing.
 I think that some of the time when we are unhappy it is about one specific
issue and if that issue is resolved, it is better.  But sometimes when we
are unhappy about multiple things, they all blend so much that it is hard
to know the exact reason.
 Vejas
 ----- Original Message -----
 From: EJ Kobek via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org
 To: stylist at nfbnet.org
 Date sent: Fri, 23 Jan 2015 17:33:35 -0500
 Subject: Re: [stylist] Writers and depression

 If we're thinking about depression = unhappiness, then writers' 
heightened
 consciousness could be an element.  Consciousness of injustice, suffering
(ours and others')....

 As Alice James was quoted as saying in her journal, however, (included in
my book *Everyday Cruelty) *"Ah, those strange people who have the courage
to be unhappy! Are they unhappy, by-the -way?"

 I know there are biological underpinnings (I.e., neurotransmitter problems,
poor uptake, adrenal gland burn out, thyroid issues, etc.)
*sometimes* to
 unhappiness, but I think our culture far too often labels mere misery  and
yawning consciousness as depression, thus neutralizing our voices,
relegating those such folks to, oh, "mentally ill," instead of aware and
articulate.  Another favorite quotation, related: "Societies honor their
live conformists and their dead rebels." Something like
that.....Medicalizing unhappiness is a superior and effective way of
silencing people's deep and true voices.

 Oh, joy.  Sob.  Whimper.  Sigh.  Be okay.  Be fine.  Be great.

 Helen
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