[stylist] New poem--Cane of Cchulhu

Wed Jul 22 17:47:58 UTC 2015

Bridgit

I totally agree with your point on reader's interpretation; it is heartening that folk took the time to ponder this poem.  Sometimes I feel like I'm writing into a black hole; I did not get that sense with this poem.

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter via stylist
Sent: Wednesday, July 22, 2015 1:44 PM
To: 'Writers' Division Mailing List'
Cc: Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Subject: Re: [stylist] New poem--Cane of Cchulhu

Shawn,

I think this poem has a lot of promise, definitely continue working on it.
The metaphor works really well, and it has strong images.

Readers often take their individual perspective and interpret a story or poem in a way different from other readers or even the author. But this is something special, and ultimately, it's a good thing to have readers pondering your writing enough to consider alternative interpretations. It means it resonates with them on some level.

Good luck with it.

Bridgit

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jacobson, Shawn D via stylist
Sent: Wednesday, July 22, 2015 12:14 PM
To: Writers' Division Mailing List
Cc: Jacobson, Shawn D
Subject: Re: [stylist] New poem--Cane of Cchulhu

My thinks to all who read and commented on my latest poem.  I am gratified to have had such a good reception for my work.

Formwise, the first stanza is a haiku as is the last.  In the middle are several four-line stanzas that I tried to keep approximately the same length.  So I guess this is either a haibon or a free verse mess depending on your take on such things.  It looks like line length is something I will have do deal with in the refining process.

You have inspired me to work more on this and send it out to a wider audience.  This is going to be a challenge since there is just so much in the mix.  There are the elder Gods (who are normal within their own medium and probably see us as eldritch).  There is the whole area in which high partials, like me, feel neither fully sighted or fully blind (there used to be tension in the NFB between the two groups).  There is the whole idea that alternative techniques (a cane being a good example) can allow us to function in a world not made for us.  There is the further idea that these techniques may be a bridge by which beings can function across realms of existence.  And then there is the idea that we may live in a world also populated with spiritual beings not like us that we do not properly perceive.

I didn't explicitly get into the mortality thing.  I do find it interesting how readers take what we write and run with it to a variety of unlikely places.

As for brining Azizof into the mix, as Bill suggests, I think that would be cool.  I just have to figure out how it is done.

Anyway, once again thanks and good reading.

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter via stylist
Sent: Wednesday, July 22, 2015 10:21 AM
To: 'Writers' Division Mailing List'
Cc: Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Subject: Re: [stylist] New poem--Cane of Cchulhu

The words themselves resonate and have power. That I do not contest. In fact, this is one of Shawn's best poems, in my opinion, grin. But in terms of structure and format, for me, the change in line length was a bit disconcerting, jarring. But I will also say that if I could read this poem with just the naked eye, I may feel differently. It may be hearing it as opposed to reading it in print or Braille makes a difference. As an editor, reading material can also make a difference because you tend to read everything analytically first, recognizing the  potential and creativity but also noting the mechanical side of the writing at the same time. And I feel it's an interesting creative choice with the line length. But over-all, I really like the poem. Very strong metaphor that is consistent throughout.

Bridgit

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of EvaMarie Sanchez via stylist
Sent: Tuesday, July 21, 2015 10:33 PM
To: Writers' Division Mailing List
Cc: EvaMarie Sanchez
Subject: Re: [stylist] New poem--Cane of Cchulhu

Okay so that is it. The line length did not bother me, because there seemed to be an increase of energy going on.  It built from the meek little lines to the all powerful long lines. And then it stopped.
That is where I felt lost, but is that not how our lives seem to be? We start as meek little babes and grow, hopefully, into powerful adults. And then suddenly we die.
Yeah, the more I think about it, the more I like it.
Eve

 President, National Federation of the Blind Northern Arizona President, National Federation of the Blind Writers' Division Committee Chair, Arizona Association of Guide Dog Users Affiliate Member, National Federation of the Blind Legislative Committee Affiliate Member, National Federation of the Blind Membership Committee Member, Slate & Style Editing Team

"You do not need to have vision to see the stars."

On Tue, Jul 21, 2015 at 6:53 PM, Barbara HAMMEL via stylist < stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:

> That bothered me, too. They were short lines and then for no rhyme or 
> reason they grew twice as long. It made me stop and have to gather 
> myself back into the poem when I noticed it.
> Barbara
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> > On Jul 21, 2015, at 14:36, Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter via stylist <
> stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >
> > Shawn,
> >
> > Interesting poem. I like the metaphor you have going. Curious, what 
> > type
> of
> > poem is this? The line length changes towards end, wondering about
> format.
> >
> > Bridgit
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
> > Jacobson, Shawn D via stylist
> > Sent: Tuesday, July 21, 2015 1:52 PM
> > To: Writer's Division Mailing List (stylist at nfbnet.org)
> > Cc: Jacobson, Shawn D
> > Subject: [stylist] New poem--Cane of Cchulhu
> >
> > OK
> >
> > I got tired of being blocked, so decided to scribble down a poem for 
> > what it's worth.
> >
> > And here it is.
> >
> > Shawn
> >
> > Cane of Cchulhu
> >
> > Surely elder gods
> > who dwell in deepest darkness
> > do not walk by sight
> >
> > Cchulhu it is said
> > lives in utter darkness
> > in stygian caves or lightless voids
> > in realms beyond the ken of man.
> >
> > And so what would this creature know of light to it as alien as is
> blindness
> > to those who see and trust in sight alone happy in their normal 
> > suppositions.
> >
> > So should Cchulhu walk our mundane ground what then could help to
> navigate
> > our ways a cane perhaps to help him on his way through the 
> > intricacies of the lands we take for granted.
> >
> > And what then of this soul,
> > nether living in sight or blindness
> > surrounded by a mighty unseen host
> > by Gods and monsters alien to my nature.
> >
> > Then should I seek Cchulhu's cane.
> > So as to walk with barrowed confidence, the ways of light and 
> > darkness all of the worlds in which I dwell.
> >
> > I do not walk by sight
> > for I to live in darkness
> > in need of guidance.
> >
> > _______________________________________________
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