[stylist] Poem - "Pool" - Second Draft

[Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter]

We all struggle with editing and revision. I have gone back to my work
that's been published and continued to edit and revise, so... smile.

Bridgit

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of William L
Houts via stylist
Sent: Thursday, June 25, 2015 1:32 AM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Cc: William L Houts
Subject: Re: [stylist] Poem - "Pool" - Second Draft





Hey Brigit,

Yeah, on second look I'm thinking that this poem, as it stands, is almost
too cute for its own good.  When I posted it, the thing felt about the right
length for its subject.  But upon running through it again, it seems to me
that the ending is a bit abrupt. I think this is one of my real challenges
as a poet, and maybe it's everyone's
challenge:  when is the piece too long?  when is it too short?  Only the
well-trained ear can tell, I suppose, and I'm still training mine.  One day,
maybe, I shall be a Wallace Stevens, a Milton, a Frost!  Today, I
metaphorically burn my works in order to get some warmth out of them, since
I don't get much sense, ha.


--Bill



On 6/24/2015 11:08 PM, Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter via stylist wrote:
> Cute. Love Margaret Atwood.
>
> Bridgit
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of William 
> L Houts via stylist
> Sent: Wednesday, June 24, 2015 11:37 PM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Cc: William L Houts
> Subject: [stylist] Poem - "Pool" - Second Draft
>
>
>
>
> Hi Poets and Scribes,
>
> Here's my effort for today.  It came as a great relief because I 
> hadn't been able to write a single poem for about two weeks, and that 
> always makes me feel a bit plugged up and nauseated--I'm betting you 
> know the feeling.  This ones about our little rubber swimming pool, 
> just purchased last week.  I recently wrote another poem about water 
> and I'm thinking of combining these two plus a third, if I can come up 
> with one, and calling it "Three Poems about Water".  I've always been 
> impressed with Margaret Atwood's great cycle, "Five Poems about 
> Dolls", and lowly scribbler that I might be, I aspire to be accounted, 
> some day, as belonging in the same solar system as Ms. Atwood, even if out
there somewhere in the Oort Cloud, LOL.
>
>
> --Bill
>
>
> ---
>
> *Pool*
>
> Twelve feet by three our pool:deep
>
> enough for a leisurely dunk or even a dive
>
> if our splash is not too radical, ecstatic
>
> in feeling if not in form.But today,
>
> late afternoon, I lean over and bring the cooling
>
> earthjuice up, waxing baboon mad and shaking
>
> my hair free of drench, rinsed in the living wet,
>
> sweat and chill drops from red self raining
>
> onto brown grass praying escape
>
> from the harsh, the stiff and scowling drought
>
> without whose face the summer grace of sun
>
> would ape the other months and by them blandness cry.
>
> And so I burn with joy, and salve myself with washings cool,
>
> and nominate to pauper sea, our ocean toy, our pool.
>
>
>
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>


-- 


"Oh, Sophie!  Whyfore have you eated all de cheeldren?"


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