[stylist] Poem - "Pool" - Second Draft

[Chris Kuell]

Hi Bill,

Don't you wish we had these blow up pools when we were younger? What a
great, and relatively inexpensive way to cool off in the summer. I'm
thinking of installing a sump pump and fashioning a fountain in ours.

Anyway, as for your poem, I like it, but not as much as some of your other
works. As stated above, I do appreciate the summer cool, and I really like
the image of shaking off like a baboon. I can't really wrap my head around
the use of the word 'ape' here:

would ape the other months and by them blandness cry.

Hunh??

And to me, it seems as though you are trying too hard to be clever with your
first line:
Twelve feet by three our pool:deep

Why not:
Our pool is twelve feet long, three deep

Which is clearer to me, and still ends on deep.

Just my thoughts. Thanks for sharing.

Chris