[stylist] JLA poetry collection

[Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter]

Jennifer,

Poetry is not my forte. In my undergrad, I had to take fundamental classes
in fiction, poetry along with nonfiction, but I have a rudimentary
understanding of poetry, though I have a great appreciation for it. So I
will give my best feedback, based mostly on my emotional response to it.

I really like how descriptive the first stanza is in Jesse. I feel the other
stanzas could use more imagery, but I have to say I like the sparse quality
of this poem. It's clean and simple.

The line, "Up and down floors, buttons bright,"
I find mentioning the buttons being bright incongruent with the poem. I get
the imagery you're wishing to express, but for me, and this is a personal
opinion, I don't know if it fits.

You need a comma between bar stool and she. Also, is bar stool one word or
two? Sitting on a steel bar stool (comma) she hears classmates clack by

Actually, several lines following the above one need commas

I really like this line, "Marching in D.C. in an army of tall - and -
whites"
But I'm not sure if people will understand it if not blind or exposed to
blind people who use canes. Just something to consider. 

In Apple, what do you mean by this line: I am a curse on earth

What format are these poems? I have difficulty identifying format without my
Dictionary of Poetic Terms, smile.

I actually do not see these as "modern" poems. They have a simplicity like
Emily Dickenson. I like the quiet nature of each, though a couple have
powerful moments, like the line in Father: Worn and weary, he prayed for
strength to resist ravishing women.
But personally, I would find ways to push the imagery and metaphor within
the bounds of whatever poetry format you're working in.

Thanks for sharing.

Bridgit

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jennifer
Applegate via stylist
Sent: Tuesday, November 03, 2015 9:51 AM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Cc: Jennifer Applegate <jlastar at comcast.net>
Subject: [stylist] JLA poetry collection

Hello all,

 

Please find my attached poem collection for any one who wants to read them
and provide me feedback.

 

Thank you,

 

Jennifer Applegate