[stylist] We Are Like Them poem revised

Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter bkpollpeter at gmail.com
Fri Nov 6 19:23:00 UTC 2015


Jennifer,

I like this. Again, simple but powerful.

I like the repetition of the lines, "They believed we couldn't," and "They
Believed we wouldn't."

Need a comma between louder and join: We've praised louder (comma) joining
hands  to change the world

*I know poetry sometimes follows different rules, especially if exploring
and experimenting with format, but grammatically, a comma is needed here.

What does, "We've strategized with advice" mean?
And, by degree in the following, do you mean educational degrees? "completed
degrees this special night"

First, I know some blind people experience driving by doing it out in an
open area, but this line could be confusing to non-blind people. Even I was
tripped up on it: We've driven a car wheeling winter roads

Really like this image: We've walked through airports tapping silver stone

This line is unclear and a bit messy. What exactly do you mean? "We've
spoken true difficult stories seeking progression"

Solid start though. The message is clear, just a couple of lines need some
re-working. But I enjoyed it.

Bridgit

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jennifer
Applegate via stylist
Sent: Friday, November 06, 2015 12:24 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Cc: Jennifer Applegate <jlastar at comcast.net>
Subject: [stylist] We Are Like Them poem revised

We Are Like Them By JLA

 

We do what we want to do

We go where we want to go

 

They believed we couldn't

They believed we wouldn't

But we've overcome

 

We've raised our boys and girls

They believed we couldn't

We've praised louder joining hands  to change the world

They believed we couldn't

 

We've sacrificed time, committed to achieve equal rights 

They believed we wouldn't

We've strategized with advice, completed degrees this special night

They believed we wouldn't

 

We've driven a car wheeling winter roads

They believed we couldn't

We've walked through airports tapping silver stone

They believed we couldn't

 

We've voted using digital machines during elections

They believed we wouldn't

We've spoken true difficult stories seeking progression

They believed we wouldn't

 

We've soared high above deep valleys

They believed we couldn't

We've smiled on top of steep mountains

They believed we couldn't

 

They believed we wouldn't

They believed we couldn't

But we've overcome

 

We go where we want to go

We do what we want to do

 

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