[stylist] How is My Attempt at Second Person?

Tue Jun 28 05:05:44 UTC 2016

Hi,
I have not finished this story yet, but was wondering, with the 
little bit that I have, if it is going in the right direction 
with its use of second-person.  Does it flow? Any comments at 
all, especially constructive criticism, are welcome.
Thanks,
Vejas
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