[stylist] How is My Attempt at Second Person?

[Debby Phillips]

Hi, just a quick note.  First of all, there are some spelling 
errors, and once where you put Juny instead of Jenny.  To me, 
this was more like an outline, you need to flesh it out somehow.  
Perhaps some dialog between you and your mother or between you 
and your sister.  I also have to admit that I think second person 
is a little unnatural, and I tend to not read stories or books 
written that way, so it doesn't seem very natural to me.  But if 
you add some dialog, I think it will be good.    Debby