[stylist] How is My Attempt at Second Person?
Debby Phillips
semisweetdebby at gmail.com
Thu Jun 30 00:46:38 UTC 2016
Hi, just a quick note. First of all, there are some spelling
errors, and once where you put Juny instead of Jenny. To me,
this was more like an outline, you need to flesh it out somehow.
Perhaps some dialog between you and your mother or between you
and your sister. I also have to admit that I think second person
is a little unnatural, and I tend to not read stories or books
written that way, so it doesn't seem very natural to me. But if
you add some dialog, I think it will be good. Debby
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