[stylist] Poem: "Falling"

[Jackie Williams]

Bill,
I had hoped to do a deeper critique of both of your poems, "Falling," and
"Coffee Mug," but other e-mails crowded in.
Let me just say that Chris found the errors, and, Yes, I would recommend
that you get over any animosity toward the spell checker, and use it
consistently. When I remember, it picks up spaces, and all kinds of things I
might miss.
Coffee mug uses a word brail. Did you mean Braille?
Your old style comes out in this poem. While inventive, it does interfere a
bit with its accessibility. Our poets who read it, got your meaning. 
I like that you gave such meaning to a Walmart coffee mug.
Falling was much more to my taste as I have had that experience with its
consequent challenge to getting up with "bloody knees," and carrying on with
determination.
I did feel a bit of negativity to the on-lookers of this in your poem.
My experience is very positive about everybody who has been close to one of
my wobbly mishaps. Most curiosity is always mixed with helping in whatever
way that they know how to. If not always appropriate, the intent is
well-meaning. 
Did I misread your assessment of the "seeing" population?
Your poems are always a challenges, and I look forward to more.

Jackie Lee


-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of William L
Houts via stylist
Sent: Sunday, September 25, 2016 2:17 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Cc: William L Houts
Subject: [stylist] Poem: "Falling"

HI Fellow Scribblers,


Here's a poem I've been working on for months and just finished today, 
after many puzzlements.  Unlike many or most of my poems, this one deals 
directly with issues we face as blind folk.  I do hope for comment on 
this one, as I expect that it's sentiments may mirror some of your own. 
Poem follows below, under signature.



--Bill


---


Falling

copyright 2016 William L. houts

United States of America

All Rights Reserved

I'm wobbly and blind besides, taking

as dangerous walking jaunts

to the coffee stand, the ferry, the deli

around the corner. The afternoon sky can seem

too bright or too dark, depending.

And sidewalk shadows stand to menace

disruptive as sirens. .

But you can't justtumble flat, whacked

with fear of falling, the failure

of a foolish braihn triumphant:

William, I say, arise and walk,deny

the pathos of all these crowding ghost

defeats: greet with sneers their lies..

Decline to faint in the face

of shame-loud grating horns:

Born with planets at your back,

you're soul's full of risings.

Gravity's grip is harsh where bones

and sidewalk meet: agreed.

but proudly bear your bloodied knees,

and ease the sighted, who sometimes gasp,

god love them, at toylike pains;

or so it seems when the sun's enough

to bait you into the sly devouring street.




-- 


"It's clever, but does it answer the Sphinx?"

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