[stylist] Story, "Help is On the Way"

[debby]

I have a couple -ts. I'm not an editor so I won't talk about sentence structure and all that. Have you reY been to a Center like the one you write about? I've been to a non-federation center and it wasn't like that at all. It just felt a below exaggerated to me. But I really do like the character of Maddie.    Debby

On Sep 13, 2016 12:38 PM, Vejas Vasiliauskas via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> Hi All, 
> I really would like to get back to writing, so I have written the 
> following piece, which I have attached as a Word document and 
> will hopefully go into the email. 
> This is a very rough draft.  Any constructive criticism would be 
> appreciated "as well as positive ones, obviously).  I feel that 
> the potential main issue with this story is that I have made too 
> much effort to prove a specific point about the center that is 
> the main focus of this piece. 
> Enjoy! 
> Vejas 
> Help Is On the Way 
>
> by Vejas Vasiliauskas 
> Prologue 
> My name is Fiona Itube.  I'm 18 years old, and I live in 
> Montpelier, Vermont.  I have been blind all my life, but beyond 
> getting good grades in school, expectations weren't that 
> important to my parents.  People all throughout my school career 
> were always willing to let me hold their hands; my cane was 
> always in my other hand, though I admit that I never learned to 
> use it. 
> I was indifferent to receiving blindness training, and so were my 
> parents.  It was really my teacher for the visually impaired, 
> Ellie, who insisted I go.  I thought she was a nutty radical, but 
> I applied for the Department of Rehab so that I could get into 
> the Better Blind training center. 
> But I never knew what blindness training was, until I met Maddie 
> Maddox. 
> Chapter 1 
> My start date was September 27.  My parents helped me set up.  I 
> take that back, they set up for me, while I Whats-apped my best 
> friend, Fern Allow.  Fern and I were supposed to have spent the 
> summer together and all that, but then her parents decided that 
> it would be really fun in Italy, so that's where they decided to 
> go. 
> After my parents finished unpacking me, they hugged me. 
> "Welove you so much," Dad said.  "Let us know if you need 
> anything." 
> "See if there's anyone you want to meet outside," Mom suggested.  
> "You should bring your cane, it will probably make you look 
> better." 
> I grabbed my cane and, sure enough, I didn't have to go far.  A 
> girl walked up to me. 
> "Hi, I'm Francesca, call me Frankie," she said, but her tone of 
> voice sounded cold.  Finally she asked, "Is that a stick?" 
> "Yes, it is," I explained, "but we call it a cane." 
> "Oh." She huffed.  "These.  So, you mean, you're totally blind." 
> "So?" 
> "Well," she said hesitantly, "I will explain this because you are 
> new, but typically we don't regard you kind of people very well." 
> "Will I get bullied?" 
> "Not really bullied per se, but we're supposed to have one and 
> it's quite a job.  I'm yours.  Whenever we have to go anywhere, I 
> need to hold your hand to take you there. 
> "And also, we do have to use these things, but we call them 
> sticks.  Canes, we consider way too radical." 
> Chapter 2 
> I got really used to the way of life at the center.  I learned 
> and understood that, as a totally blind person, I would never be 
> altogether too successful.  We were told our center's welcome 
> sign over and over again. 
> Help Is on the Way For Blind People 
> What to Do to Get a Sighted Person's Attention 
> 1.  Look lost, even if you know where you're going. 
> 2.  Smile, always smile.  Maybe you will charm a sighted person 
> into giving you a job. 
> 3.  Accept the fact that this will always be your life. 
> We were also told that in a few years, surgery would allow us to 
> gain sight and lead a better life. 
> Chapter 2 
> "Honey, I'm so, so sorry," Lesley Clockhammer, the director of 
> the blindness center, told me as she looked at my apartment.  She 
> looked around.  "Did Maggie clean your apartment?" 
> "Yes, she did," I said, "but I spilled grape juice all over and 
> didn't know what to do." 
> "Oh, that's OK," Lesley laughed.  "I'll call her right now to get 
> back and clean it up.  If I don't, we could have some problems." 
> She sighed.  "Anyway, I'm so sorry but you are going to be 
> getting a new roommate in a couple of hours.  Her name is Maddie 
> Maddox and she is from St.  Albans, Vermont.  I know people like 
> to have their privacy.  I'm so, so sorry." 
> Maddie impressed me from the start.  For starters, she didn't 
> come with her parents.  Lesley and Maggie, the cleaner, fussed 
> all over her. 
> "Nope, I can do it myself," Maddie said over, and over, and over 
> again. 
> When they finally left, Maddie came over to my room. 
> "How's life here, Fiona?" she asked me. 
> "It's fine, I guess.  For a blindness training center." 
> "I really wanted to go to Ruston, Louisiana for the Louisiana 
> Center for the Blind," Maddie explained.  "But my Department of 
> Rehabilitation absolutely insistedon no.  My dad is friends with 
> Lesley Clockhammer's husband, and they said I could come here for 
> free! I hope that I at least can have some great experiences." 
> It didn't look like it.  Later, as the day progressed, I saw that 
> there was very little that could satisfy Maddie Maddox. 
> "No," she insisted to her mentor, Davina.  "I don't need any 
> help, thank you very much! I can walk to the dining hall all by 
> myself." 
> "With this stick thing?" 
> "Yes, it's called a cane," Maddie said, "and it's here to help 
> me.  Do you have any sight?" 
> "Some," Davina said meekly. 
> "I find it helps me and it should help you too," explained 
> Maddie.  "That certainly beats stumbling around." 
> Davina retreated. 
> "I got what I wanted!" Maddie was happy.  "Fiona, you need to 
> tell your mentor person similarly." 
> "I'm too scared to." 
> "Oh, come on, girl, you need to learn to speak up for yourself." 
> "Frankie," I said when she came by for dinner, "I would like to 
> use my cane from now on.  Thank you for being my mentor." 
> "Suit yourself," she said and walked off. 
> "See? It was easy!" Maddie cheered.  "Let's go for dinner!" 
> Chapter 3 
> Julia Spinner, the kitchen instructor, came into our apartment at 
> 10 for kitchen class.  I was still sleeping. 
> "You missed breakfast," she said.  "No worries, though.  Do you 
> want some privacy to change, or would you like me to dress you?" 
> From the kitchen, Maddie snickered. 
> "I'll dress myself, thanks," I said. 
> "Cool.  I have a spinach cheddar bake for you to make." 
> "Spinach and cheddar is awesome!" Maddie said.  She was writing 
> out an ingredients list for the center's grocery store on a 
> large, old-fashioned typewriter-like machine.  "I love helping my 
> mom make spinach quiche!" 
> Julia laughed.  "Oh, that's the funniest thing I've heard all 
> day! No, you're supposed to put it in the oven for 45 minutes." 
> "Got it," I said. 
> "Just curious," Maddie said, "but what are you having Fiona do 
> for the next 45 minutes?" 
> "The waiting game," Julia explained patiently.  "As a blind 
> person, you need to learn to spend more time waiting and less on 
> your mobile devices." 
> Chapter 4 
> "I'm disgusted with this center!" Maddie ranted and raved that 
> night.  "If I didn't have any self-motivation, I don't think I'd 
> be anywhere! I was hoping that I could help others in a positive 
> way, and, Fiona, you have come such a long way.  But I guess 
> not." 
> Maddie had been lectured by Lesley Clockhammer that she was 
> "overdoing it", and "expressing a form of free thinking which 
> served as a threat to the center." But then Maddie calked down. 
> "I'm going to get permission to go to the National Federation of 
> the Blind convention in Orlando this year," she twittered 
> excitedly.  "I have always gone to them, and they are amazing! I 
> learn so much?" 
> "How are you going to do that?" I asked.  You needed a day pass 
> to go anywhere. 
> "Both of my grandparents are conviently going to die that day," 
> Maddie explained, "so I have no option but to go to their 
> funeral.  That's actually what my grandparent suggested.  There's 
> no other way I can think of that the center would let me go." 
> "Don't you feel strange ly-?was 
> "You gotta do what you gotta do." Maddie sighed.  "But I can't 
> believe that this is a 9-month program, and the convention is not 
> for another 7." 
> "Tell me more about this NFB." 
> So that's what we talked about all night.  This organization 
> wasn't full of crazy radicals; they actually wanted more 
> expectations of blind students so that they could live a happy 
> and fulfilled lifestyle. 
> Chapter 5 
> A month later, and I was even closer to Maddie.  On the outside, 
> we did what was required: hold our mentors' hands and, in my 
> case, that of my new mentor Caroline-thank God Frankie graduated.  
> But on the outside, we did what we could.  We split the money to 
> buy pots, pans and other everyday uses for the kitchen, so that 
> we could cook for ourselves.  We cleaned and cleaned and cleaned, 
> so much so that Maggie had nothing to do.  One day she told us 
> that she hated this job, that she knew students could do much 
> better, but coming to our apartment made her day. 
> It was an ordinary Saturday night when I was woken up by my phone 
> vibrating to signalize a text from Maddie. 
> "Hi Fiona it's me.  I have decided to leave.  I just can't take 
> it anymore.  I am going to fight for the Louisiana Center for the 
> Blind and while I wait, I will do what I can.  Good luck.  Talk 
> to me anytime." 
> And at that point I knew what to do.  I pulled out my suitcases 
> and began to pack them. 
> The End
>
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