[Stylist] Apollo 11 Story Feedack and Vend Fest

[Barbara HAMMEL]

You might want to look up the name Noreen Grice. She has written some books that have tactiles in them dealing with space things, but more importantly, I think she has a degree in science that is in this realm. I'm not suggesting you talk to her as much as you could essentially tell the children that they, too, can reach for the stars and maybe one of them could be the first blind person to go to to the moon. 
I'm not so sure you need to get all fancy with your story. These kids are used to audio books, or at least most of them probably are. Just have a few seconds of intro music, maybe and call it good? 
Barbara Hammel

> On Jan 23, 2019, at 01:01, Tina Hansen via Stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Thanks to those of you who have offered feedback on my Apollo 11 narrative.
> However, I do have a few questions and observations.
> 
> 
> 
> I apologize for this "vent fest," but I feel like I need to settle this in
> my mind. This started with me 25 years ago when I attended an event at the
> planetarium at my community college. When I got out of there, I felt there
> was a mismatch between the speaker and the audience. I don't want that to
> happen.
> 
> 
> 
> This is the first time I've attempted to write anything for kids. I don't
> work with kids, nor do I have any of my own.
> 
> 
> 
> Part of my concern is due to the way our culture takes in information. As a
> whole, we live in a rather loud culture, and the media seems to make people
> expect everything to be super dramatic, elaborate, cinematic or theatrical.
> The visual world is especially notorious for special effects, but as anyone
> who has seen Star Wars knows, the sound design is incredible. And many films
> have incredible sound tracks.
> 
> 
> 
> Since we likely won't use visuals, we have to include everything in our
> audio. We plan to include the voices of the astronauts, but is it necessary
> to use rap or song within our narrative as a way to hold their interest? Has
> it gotten so bad that we feel we have to resort to gimmicks to keep them
> interested? Do we have to compete with the media?
> 
> 
> 
> I'm not concerned with anything after the narrative, since we're using
> experiments as a way to get the students engaged.
> 
> 
> 
> I'm doing the best I can, but I'm concerned about avoiding potential traps.
> I don't want to talk down to this audience, nor do I wish to dumb the story
> down. If the story is too shallow, it won't be worth anything. But how do I
> encourage them to go deeper if they're interested. If we just tell the story
> and leave it there, they'll think it doesn't mean anything to them.
> 
> 
> 
> What about humor. I don't want to "try to be funny," but how can I use
> humor, especially since we're recording the narrative in advance?
> 
> 
> 
> I wonder if the story needs an ending that gets them to think. I want them
> to think about what they want to be when they grow up.
> 
> 
> 
> I have this feeling that I need to connect it to the NFB somehow, but how do
> I do that?
> 
> 
> 
> I'm meeting with my project team on Friday, and I hope to get some feedback
> from team members. If needed, I'll be dashing off a third draft to the lists
> for more feedback.
> 
> 
> 
> Any thoughts about these observations? Thanks.
> 
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