[Stylist] new poem, feed back appreciated

[Barbara HAMMEL]

The imagery is great, Ann but for me the title is incogruous with them because the outhouse image overpowers the stuff about the cabin.  Barbara Hammel

> On May 25, 2019, at 17:34, Ann Chiappetta via Stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Hello all,
> 
> This is from a families of veterans writing workshop. I know it isn't about
> soldiers, but it is about going to the family cabin, where my Dad and his
> brothers all hunted, and, all of whom were veterans.
> 
> 
> 
> The Cabin
> 
> 
> 
> By Ann Chiappetta
> 
> 
> 
> Pine scents, the echo of bird calls, hollow
> 
>  sound of boots on the plywood floor. The squeak 
> 
> of the cabin door and crunch of footsteps moving toward the outhouse. Worry
> 
> competes with the urge -- will
> 
> there be spiders? Will someone hear a scream?
> 
> 
> 
> Keeping an eye on the spider in the corner, mouth-breathing 
> 
> to avoid the stink, it's finally done. Boots
> 
> make a hasty retreat from outhouse, clomp 
> 
> back into rustic safety. Dusk
> 
> edges into night followed by 
> 
> The soft swoosh of gas lanterns. Savory 
> 
> Camp food aromas waft from the kitchen, the pop
> 
> Of grease and spices compete for attention. iron stove 
> 
> and pump handle sink match the 
> 
> warped and slanted floor. The shotgun 
> 
> leans against the frame, a young 
> 
> shoulder bruised from its recoil.
> 
> 
> 
> Bears prowl at night. So much 
> 
> for the outhouse in the dark.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ann Chiappetta, M.S.
> 
> Author & Consultant
> 
> <http://www.annchiappetta.com> www.annchiappetta.com
> 
> 
> <https://www.amazon.com/gp/r.html?C=Z9SQXHR9LXA4&M=urn:correios:msg:20171130
> 234501b100607b0d1546379d4571b5f1e0p0na&R=1AGOVS1WQU0RS&T=C&U=https%3A%2F%2Fw
> ww.amazon.com%2Fauthor%2Fannchiappetta%3Fref_%3Dpe_1724030_132998060&A=QANHT
> SRK0SI7IXHTMMFYYPQFHH8A&H=XA5QNH9QOJ0XQKUD7AAYGEEUJ8MA&ref_=pe_1724030_13299
> 8060> https://www.amazon.com/author/annchiappetta
> 
> Face Book: Annie Chiappetta/Twitter: Anniedungarees/Instagram: annie_bird_64
> 
> LinkedIn: Ann Chiappetta Iona College/Blog:  <http://www.thought-wheel.com/>
> www.thought-wheel.com/
> 
> 
> 
> "The imagination imitates. It is the critical spirit that creates." ` Oscar
> Wilde
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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