[Stylist] My attempt at a short memoir essay

Thu Mar 5 00:03:17 UTC 2020

Hi everyone, 
In enjoying Bridgit's essay, and having read a few memoirs for my class, I thought I would try writing a small piece of my own. Rather than focus solely on one incident, it is more about balancing life. I didn't want to write anything that would specifically call out an individual. This is a very preliminary piece and would probably require lots of work, but I have to start somewhere! I have pasted it below because I know Outlook has been known to remove attachments. 
Thanks, 
Vejas 
An Ambivert's Guide to Living
by Vejas Vasiliauskas
I find it interesting to learn about other peoples' personality types.  Four initials from a Myers-Briggs test should not put one into a box, but it is still fascinating to learn what these peoples' letters are.
I've tested as an introvert (I'm an INFJ, to be exact), but if you asked my friends what they thought, they would probably would say that I'm an extrovert.  In thinking about it, I believe I actually fit the category for an ambivert, who has both introverted and extroverted tendencies.
To be an all-out extrovert is relatively easy.  If you want to party, there's always somewhere to go! Of course, it goes without saying that one must party wisely, but the majority of people learn quickly how to self-regulate.  I am currently a college senior living in a dorm in which my entire floor mostly consists of honors freshmen.  Most of these freshmen come across as extroverts, as they try to figure out their place, because they feel that hiding will allow them to meet the right friends, the right dates, the right mentors.  Introverts have it slightly harder, but to be an introvert is much less challenging once one accepts the fact that they are what they are, and learns not to let comments from extroverts get to them.  To be in the middle, or to be an ambivert, can be difficult, because we must balance our various wants with our various needs (by wants, I am talking about what we would like to do in the moment, and by needs, I mean what is required of us).
If you were to look at my schedule, including which classes I have, who I spend time with, and what clubs I attend, you would probably think, "Introvert!" To me, having an overbooked schedule with all sorts of activities on other parts of campus is a logistical nightmare.  I try never to commit or attend to events that are any less than 30 minutes apart.  I also always have a rough idea of when I'll be available, because I know what time my classes are and what time I'm working.  There are people I know who would attend something that ends at 7:30 (as an example) and immediately rush to another event that starts at 7:30! While this action would cause me a lot of anxiety, I admire these who do it, who aren't afraid of being a little late and as a result can experience more.  I am also an introvert in that, for me to re-charge, I need a lot of rest.  For many, a weekend trip is considered an ideal break away, and while I have found weekend trips can be fun, I also feel like they can be exhausting.  For me, home, a place where I have my own bed and know how to get around, is the best place to recover and re-charge.  Finally, I consider myself an introvert in that some of my tastes are very different, especially my hobby for Celtic folk music.  Once upon a time it used to frustrate me that I had a hobby that I couldn't get anyone into, but now I am more at peace with this, having found a chat forum of others around the world (mostly Ireland and the UK) with this interest.
I may hate parties and dislike the taste of alcohol, but definitely like to socialize! One of my favorite activities before college, during the weekends in the smaller environment of a blindness training center, was to spend time with my best friend doing absolutely nothing, which many people would probably hate, especially with the advent of FOMO.  For me, the ideal "outing" would be to go to a restaurant (off-campus, please!) and maybe a second activity like getting ice cream, walking on the beach or seeing a movie.  Alternatively, as a member of the local botanical gardens, spending a few hours there with a friend or two would be absolutely amazing.  As an English major, I get few midterm exams, so it can be really difficult when I want to go out with people and they're busy studying or stressing.  But for most people, going out in the way I'd like to just just isn't enough.  For them, the botanical gardens are too much of a commitment, as group projects, fraternity and sorrority expectations, and other events quickly take over.  And usually, "going out" must involve alcohol and a long night.  And though I like to plan all my outings in advance, the majority of my peers seem not to want to do this so they can keep their options open.
The other difficulty in being an ambivert is that I feel that many optional extracirricular activities either require too little or too much commitment, and I can be quick to make my decision either way.  For example, improv and comedy club is very fun, but much of the time is spent preparing for shows, and I just want to partake in improv for fun.  The flip side of this is outdoor club, in which too many hikes have been cancelled or delayed for my liking and I can see that most people aren't putting their all into it.
But, as frustrating as being an ambivert can be, it has its advantages.  In some ways, I think it has made me a more well-rounded individual.  I have a wide range of interests that I can pursue on my own and don't require enthusiasm from others.  I can hop on the folk music chat forum from any location, at any time of day with no-one batting an eyelid.  If I want to start a new story, I'm free to do so, and I have no obligation to show it to others, which means I can choose any names and can put my characters in any situations I want.  I may not currently have a direct roommate or significant other, but it means there is less pressure for me to partake in activities I may not want to.  And despite the difficulty in convincing friends from school to go to the botanical gardens, I am lucky that my mom is also a fellow annual member, which means that this is an activity we can do together and bond over.  My advice for a fellow ambivert would be to never stop trying out new activities, but tell them it's OK to quit provided they gave it a fair chance.  One thing we need to learn is that even amongst activities we like, there will be people whom we dislike, and only the individual can judge the group dynamics.  I would also advise against caring what others are doing, and to remember that all because someone is in a relationship does not automatically mean they are extremely happy and have no problems.  Finally, I would say that eventually, with time and with effort on their part, most everyone will eventually find "their people" or "their activity" and become happier with balancing the life that being half-introverted and half-extroverted entails.  I may not be there just yet, but I know that one day I will. 
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://nfbnet.org/pipermail/stylist_nfbnet.org/attachments/20200304/f52976f2/attachment.html>