[Stylist] Fw: The Odyssey of Homer One is a finalist

[Shawn Jacobson]

I got some good news on my story "The Oddyssey of Homor One.  Got some constructive criticism as well.
Anyway, this is as far as I've ever gotten with this contest, so I think this is happy-dance time.
Shawn
Shawn Jacobson
sdj60259 at aol.com
 

   ----- Forwarded Message ----- From: Amateur Writing Contest <amateurwritingcontest at bsfs.org>To: Shawn Jacobson <sdj60259 at aol.com>Sent: Monday, August 12, 2024 at 02:08:58 PM EDTSubject: The Odyssey of Homer One is a finalist  
 
Hi Shawn

 

I'm pleased to tell you that your story "The Odyssey ofHomer One" is a finalist in this year's Short Story contest. We had manygood entries this year and the competition was strong but your story isone of the standouts.

 

While we are awaiting the last round of voting, I thought Iwould give you the comments from readers who gave feedback in the first round.Other comments may be coming from the readers of the finalist round who aremostly new to the story.

 

The Odyssey of Homer One


   
   - I would enjoy more stories in this world. Proofreading needed,names Cathy/Kathy and the name of the blindness plague. Klick is usually theabbreviation for kilometer rather than “click”.
   - It was interesting to read a story about a blind starfaringhuman society landing on another world. The dialogue needs some work in orderto give each character their own voice, otherwise they come across stiff andtwo-dimensional. The words you need for voice pitch are "bass" (notbase) and "tenor" (not tenner).
   - Some things about this were very good. Those were theexperiential aspects of the story, the dialog, and the unexplained mysteries ofthe situation, slowly coming out. 
   - I found myself wondering where the writer was going. 
   - The ending is preachy and not rational, though it became clearthat the encountered beings were likely the cause of the plague, once theymentioned seeing as restricted.
   - Disappointing, though. There were so many better directions thisstory could have taken. 
   - Needs a grammar checker.
   - Trying to take on too big a story in a short.
   - My favorite.






Keep writing. Regardless of what happens this year, I lookforward to getting another strong entry from you next year.

 
Allison


-- 
~~~~The Baltimore Science Fiction Society Amateur Writing Contest contest is open to amateur writers over 18 years old who are residents of Maryland. This year's contest opens on April 15 and closes June 15.
For more information and to see contest rules go to https://bsfs.org/bsfsssc.htm
  
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