[blindkid] Parents with some questions

Wed Dec 3 16:13:46 UTC 2008

I think most of the adoption agencies require you to pay the money even if 
it's a special needs child.
Barbara

--------------------------------------------------
From: <landjwest at bellsouth.net>
Sent: Tuesday, December 02, 2008 6:14 PM
To: "NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List,(for parents of blind children)" 
<blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blindkid] Parents with some questions

> Congratulations! I know you are so excited and I am sure overwhelmed for 
> now but things will get better especially with such awesome advice as this 
> lady has shared.
> I have a question for you. We adopted our child from the states. How did 
> you go about adopting your son from India and were you looking for a 
> special needs child? You may not want to answer this queston and that is 
> ok if you don't but do you have to pay a fee when you take on such a 
> challenge?I met a lady here who is looking for a special needs child from 
> another country and they want a ton of money from them and they will not 
> receive any help financially from here when they do adopt. Is htat 
> correct?  I would love to hear any info on your process that you might be 
> willing to share.
> God Bless,
> Laura
> -------------- Original message from "Ramona L. Burgess" 
> <Moni at monimarketplace.com>: -------------- 
>
>
>> My blind son will be 4 in 18 days and he isn't potty trained either, nor
>> does he really recongnize when he is wet. I would leave the potty 
>> training
>> until later when he can better communicate with you.
>>
>>
>>
>> I would advise that you find him an excellent OT therapist as soon as
>> possible to help you find ways to address his physio/motor needs. Having
>> been in an orphanage and neglected, he will have major needs in this 
>> area.
>>
>>
>>
>> Because of his physical neglect he probably doesn't understand what you 
>> are
>> doing when you hold and rock him. Don't stop trying to do that. Do it
>> little by little adding to the time everyday until he becomes comfortable
>> with your touch. Bedtime is always a challenge. My son sometimes gets
>> wound up after going to bed, because it is the first complete quiet time 
>> he
>> gets all day. I was told that it can be a relief to have some quiet from
>> all the stimulation. We allow Allan to get out of bed and play in his 
>> room
>> at night, but we will go in and remind him it is time to sleep if it goes 
>> on
>> too long. We play a music quietly all night, so that it cues him that it 
>> is
>> sleeping time. Anytime that music plays he knows he should be sleeping.
>>
>>
>>
>> As far as the self-stimulation, that should be reduced gradually as he
>> starts responding to you. I mean that it is his way of working with the
>> world and until he learns other ways it will only frustrate and confuse 
>> him
>> if you try to eliminate too much too soon. My son still mouths, but it is
>> going down. He rocks sometimes too and we are working on that. Our 
>> biggest
>> stim is that he likes to tap everything on his front teeth, Oi! We've had
>> our son since we adopted him at birth.you are starting with a 
>> five-year-old
>> who has been neglected so you will have to pretend that he is much 
>> younger
>> and deal with him accordingly. This was our first child too so I can
>> appreciate the problems inherent in the situation. Y'all are gonna get
>> there.
>>
>>
>>
>> If you don't already, get the books on tapes from the library for him to
>> listen to. Even if you don't think he is attending, he is getting some
>> language from it. I did that with Allan from about 9-Months. Toys are a
>> learned behaviour which he doesn't have. Find a simple baby's rattle that
>> is soft that he can shake and mouth. Place it in his hand and shake it to
>> show him what it does. With tactile defensive children, which your little
>> guy will probably be after all this, you may have to tell him that he is
>> going to hold it for the count of three. You really need OT and the
>> brushing program to help with this.
>>
>>
>>
>> There is so much to address, but don't panic and take it day to day.try
>> treating him as if he was an infant and knows nothing, because that may 
>> very
>> well be the case.
>>
>>
>>
>> God bless you and your family,
>>
>> Allan's Mom
>>
>> Ramona
>>
>>
>>
>> Hello everyone,
>>
>> > I am posting this to both the blind parents list and the parents of
>>
>> > blind children list, so I apologize for the cross-post.
>>
>> >
>>
>> > I am blind. My wife and I just returned from India with our adopted
>>
>> > son. He is 5 years old and was born without eyes. Unfortunately, he
>>
>> > was abandoned and lived in an orphanage for at least 3 years, maybe
>>
>> > more. So, we are looking at some fairly significant delays. For
>>
>> > example, he is currently not speaking at all. He will mimic language,
>>
>> > which is a good start though. He is also still in diapers. He will
>>
>> > not indicate when he is wet.
>>
>> > In observing and interacting with him over the past 5-6 days, I do
>>
>> > have some questions. This is our first child, so some of these
>>
>> > questions may be obvious to experienced parents:
>>
>> >
>>
>> > 1. self-stimulation: He is in motion almost constantly. If he is
>>
>> > standing up, he rocks side to side and back and forth. If he is
>>
>> > sitting down, he also rocks almost constantly. Due to the lack of
>>
>> > attention he received in the orphanage, he needs to rock himself to 
>> > sleep
>> at night.
>>
>> > Does anyone have any ideas to help him overcome this?
>>
>> >
>>
>> > 2. somewhat frantic or manic behavior at nap or bed times: He has
>>
>> > quite a bit of trouble getting to sleep during nap time or at bed time.
>>
>> > He will attempt to fall asleep, and then begin laughing, rocking very
>>
>> > vigerously and sometimes mouthing various objects. This is all of the
>>
>> > same self stimulation, but he seems to get much more agitated at sleep
>>
>> > time. The sad part is, due to neglect in the orphanage, he doesn't
>>
>> > seem to respond at all to one of us holding him, or trying to comfort
>>
>> > him. I am honestly not sure how to handle this. I don't want to just
>>
>> > leave him in his room. He will get up out of bed and start walking
>>
>> > around. Do I pick him up and put him back in his bed, or just let him
>>
>> > work it out on his own.
>>
>> >
>>
>> >
>>
>> > 3. playing: He does not seem to have much of a concept of toys. He
>>
>> > had one toy that he liked at the orphanage, which was a baby rattle.
>>
>> > We have lots of toys here for him, but I am not sure how to introduce
>>
>> > the concept of playing to him. Most of the time, he seems content to
>>
>> > sit down and rock. If you give him something to play with, he will
>>
>> > most often throw it down.
>>
>> >
>>
>> > 4. School: I am not sure how to handle getting him into school. As I
>>
>> > mentioned earlier, he is 5, but acts more like a 1-2 year old. I know
>>
>> > he could benefit from the services in the public schools such as
>>
>> > ocupational therapy and speech/language therapy. I'm not sure weather
>>
>> > to try and start some of that now, or wait until the fall. I am not a
>>
>> > huge fan of home schooling.
>>
>> >
>>
>> >
>>
>> >
>>
>> > I know I will have more questions, but thats it for now. Any help
>>
>> > would be greatly apreciated. We're feeling a bit like a fish out of
>>
>> > water at this point.
>>
>>
>>
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