[blindkid] kids away from home

Fri Nov 21 16:58:16 UTC 2008

That's funny, Carrie, because I had that happen to me somewhere, too.
Barbara

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Carrie Gilmer" <carrie.gilmer at gmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 20, 2008 9:09 PM
To: "'NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List,(for parents of blind children)'" 
<blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blindkid] kids away from home

> Dear Sally,
> I would say it depends kind of on the things you mentioned. I decided 
> based
> on (pretty much these were the same basis for my three sighted children):
>
> #1: how well I knew the people (youth leaders in this case?) who were
> supervising. This was true for any of my children but aside from feeling
> secure they were not lurking criminals, what was their past treatment of
> Jordan at day events?
> #2: How well I, or maybe more importantly HE knew the other kids. How had 
> he
> been treated at day things? Did he have a friend going as a regular buddy?
> #4: How much did he want to go--were the activities planned ones he was
> interested in or capable of or had experience participating in.
>
> Then as long as I was sure he would be safe, and all the above had been
> answered positively then I let him go. I also did know that he was in fact
> age appropriate to the other kids in self care and communication.
>
> Not everything went perfect--sometimes he learned how to better advocate 
> in
> the future if someone thought too little of his ability or some kid
> questioned why he would want to play bean bag toss or something. He was
> known at school so this usually did not happen at school. For him he often
> found more low expectations at church with the friend of a friend who came
> to the same function... We had usually good experiences at the YMCA. But
> these were learning experiences in a safe place, they were not devastating
> and they did not always happen. Knowing when and when not to ask for help 
> or
> stick up for yourself and educate or advocate--all that takes quite a bit 
> of
> skill and confidence actually. You don't want them acquiring it the 
> weekend
> before they go off to college. Smile. The more years of practice the more
> experiences they have to relate back to...the more it becomes less of a
> surprise and you can move on quickly.
>
> How many times and in how many ways have the cane questions come? A couple
> of weeks ago Jordan went to a game place; go carts, Paint ball, laser tag,
> arcade, bumper cars. He was waiting his turn with his older brother for 
> the
> bumper cars. A kid asked him if he won his white stick as prize...like HOW
> MANY TOKENS did you need to win that? Smile. When Jordan told him he was
> blind, the kid was quiet a second and then said, "Well I guess you don't
> want to play laser tag then". If we tried to prevent every incident we 
> would
> have to lock them up in their own rooms and interact with no one beyond 
> the
> immediate family. Jordan chalked it up with a laugh and as just one
> more...he has explained the cane a thousand times in a hundred ways...and 
> he
> is only 18.
>
> I think you will know yourself Sally, in your gut, if you are being too
> cautious or not. You are a pretty wise cookie.
>
>
>
> Carrie Gilmer, President
> National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
> A Division of the National Federation of the Blind
> NFB National Center: 410-659-9314
> Home Phone: 763-784-8590
> carrie.gilmer at gmail.com
> www.nfb.org/nopbc
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Andy & Sally Thomas
> Sent: Thursday, November 20, 2008 7:15 PM
> To: blindkid at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [blindkid] kids away from home
>
> At what age did you let your kids attend overnight activities that were 
> not
> run by blindness or disability centered groups without you?  I'm sure it
> depends on the maturity of the child as well as the type of group.  I must
> say that I worry about my son either being babied or left behind 
> somewhere.
> I'm not sure if the "age appropriate behavior" idea applies or not since I
> would have to rely on others--not just my son's abilities.  He's pretty
> independent but sometimes I think he may be too independent to ask for
> appropriate help.  And it seems to me that most people are pretty clueless
> about blindness.  I know I could talk with them about it but I'm still a 
> bit
> nervous.
>
> He's attended several away from home activities at the school for the 
> blind
> and the Louisiana Buddy Program but I'm not as comfortable sending him to
> church retreats.  Am I being too cautious?
>
> Sally Thomas
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