[blindkid] Identify yourself please

Fri Nov 21 20:55:41 UTC 2008

"Oh, no guessing games, please.  It's more helpful if you would just 
tell her who you are."

Yes, I think it does come with the territory and it's an art form to 
walk the line between being appropriately assertive and being 
rude--both for parents and for blind individuals.  So--be firm but 
nice with others--and vent with us!

Carol

At 10:13 AM 11/21/2008, you wrote:

>I only have a few seconds to write, but wanted to add a question 
>quick that ties into this one...
>
>SO many people that Lily (8 years old) has met before (some only 
>once or twice) come up to her and say hi.  If she doesn't know who 
>it is, she very politely says "hi! What's your name?"  Sometimes 
>they tell her right away, but sometimes they do something that 
>irritates me to no end and I don't know how to ask them in a polite 
>way to stop or explain to them why I don't like it.
>
>People who don't know her very well think she is amazing and they 
>love that she can remember voices well.  It makes them feel good if 
>they say hi, and she knows who they are.  So if she doesn't know 
>right away and asks what their name is, they will say something like 
>"You know me, Lily, listen to my voice and try to guess..."
>
>I HATE THIS! What if every time you started talking to someone you 
>had to guess who they were?!?
>How have other people handled this one??  I need some suggestions. I 
>have said things in the past to people about it, and about not 
>treating her like she is a baby, or like she is AMAZING just because 
>she can do the simplest little things, (which feels so insulting to 
>me becasue she can do so much more that they have no idea about) 
>etc. and about countless other things, but I always get a look back 
>like I am such a mean mom or just a rude person in general.  Does 
>this just come with the territory of being a parent of a blind 
>child?  Help please :)
>
>Sorry for the spelling and grammar errors...I have to go, but wanted 
>to quick get this in.
>kala
>
>
> > From: carrie.gilmer at gmail.com> To: blindkid at nfbnet.org> Date: 
> Fri, 21 Nov 2008 08:45:28 -0600> Subject: [blindkid] Identify 
> yourself please> > Hi All, Especially to our blind colleagues and 
> friends.> > > > I have one thing with Jordan that has improved but 
> still is an "issue". I> think it bugs me way more than him, and 
> likely that is why it is still an> "issue".> > > > Jordan often 
> does not ask people to identify themselves. It is one thing,> and 
> understandable to me, when he is in the very crowded school 
> hallways and> some voice calls out, "hey Jordan!" in a passing 
> greeting and he simply> calls back hey-but has no idea who that hey 
> came from and to not yell out in> a crowd "hey who are 
> you?",> > > > But there are many times.> > At the state fair, in a 
> store, even at a lunch room table!, where he THINKS> he is talking 
> to one person and discovers mid-conversation that is not who> he is 
> talking with (and never says anything or finds in the end who it 
> was),> or we walk away from the
>  teen working the register or who has come up in> Best Buy and said 
> "hello" and I ask "Who was that?" and he says I have no> idea. I 
> know that sometimes because he is one of 3,000 at school-and> 
> because he has the one and only thing, a lot more people know who 
> he is than> vice versa and sometimes he really doesn't know who 
> they are, but not> uncommonly it is evident the kid who is greeting 
> him, he should know, but he> doesn't ask. I know that sometimes he 
> thinks it is rude, if the other kid> thinks Jordan should know who 
> they are.the same way if I forget someone's> name and I should 
> definitely know it, and I am thinking how can I ask> without 
> offending?...But many times he is just too "shy" about it. I have> 
> seen on the student list before threads where lots of kids are 
> somewhat> uncomfortable with this one. Any strategies that you 
> blind folks have come> up with to gain the confidence or decide 
> when to do it? Is it just a> personality thing, because I know many 
> blind folks who are
>  not shy about it> and simply say, "Who are you?"> > > > Should I 
> just let this one go now as a mom-especially since he is now a> 
> senior in high school? > > > > Carrie Gilmer, President> > National 
> Organization of Parents of Blind Children> > A Division of the 
> National Federation of the Blind> > NFB National Center: 
> 410-659-9314> > Home Phone: 763-784-8590> > 
> carrie.gilmer at gmail.com> > www.nfb.org/nopbc> > > > 
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