[blindkid] Seeking advice: blind daughter intentionallyexcludedfrom birthday party

Carrie Gilmer carrie.gilmer at gmail.com
Wed Oct 29 18:12:52 UTC 2008


Dear Janice,
Have you tried the next time Grace is over next door to ask if you can all
come for a short visit bringing Ari and the other mother can witness for
herself how Ari can play safely and independently? You could also invite the
mother and her child over to your house to witness Ari a few times.

MY daughter has a friend who for awhile when she was invited to stay for
lunch the mother sent the older brother over to our house to get lunch too!
Sometimes I was just busy when my daughter wanted four friends over and I
said no just one (I don't really think that is the case for you here)
There are no shortages of weirdos and socially inept people in the
world-smile. I would try and find if it is that the mom only wants one at a
time over or really is excluding Ari--that is if Ari was sighted would she
have no hesitation about inviting both your daughters. Just come right out
with it and make it "safe" and non-judgmental for her to do so.
 
The school situation should definitley be addressed by the school and I
would demand something--why are they seperating her so much? Does she really
need that much pull out? Is it time for new goals and placement options in
the IEP? Have they heard of Least Restrictive Enviroment? 

As in Stephanie's suggestion earlier to Grace, make your home or parties for
Ari THE place to be. Invite kids over, find ones who Ari likes and vice
versa. You don't have to have a birthday for a party. These days my youngest
gets invited to all kinds of parties--the release of High School Mucical, a
Halloween Party, we had a teddy bear party once when my oldest daughter was
very young, a tea party, a girlie crazy hair do night, a legos build a
mania--the ideas for parties are endless. When you find a few she likes you
don't have to always have the big shin digs. I found that having the parties
at our house also let me know what the gossip was, who the friends were,
what they were really like, what was cool and not...all that stuff for all
my kids not just my blind kid.
 
Carrie Gilmer, President
National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
A Division of the National Federation of the Blind
NFB National Center: 410-659-9314
Home Phone: 763-784-8590
carrie.gilmer at gmail.com
www.nfb.org/nopbc

-----Original Message-----
From: blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of jjordan_pa at yahoo.com
Sent: Wednesday, October 29, 2008 8:03 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List,(for parents of blind children)
Subject: Re: [blindkid] Seeking advice: blind daughter
intentionallyexcludedfrom birthday party

Melissa: you have touched our hearts with your candid story.  You are a
remarkable woman and I am hopeful that we might one day meet.  I am just now
dealing with my daughter, who is almost 8, being excluded.  Not yet at the
depth of purposeful exclusion but in smaller things.  I recently moved
(purchased a home) and my neighbor has a child the same age as Ari's
sibling.  He is an only child and has enough toys and gadgets to fill a
warehouse.  Grace is over there as much as I will allow and comes home with
tales of spectacular fun. The neighbor mom is afraid of Ari (?) And keeps
telling her  "one day we will have you  over".   To make matters worse, her
new school separates her so much from her regular classroom that she is not
developing friendships there either. She is becoming a very lonely girl and
my heart is breaking for her.  

Anyway, I just wanted to say thankyou for sharing. This list helps me in so
many ways in raising my daughter. 

Janice & Arianna
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T






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