[blindkid] no appreciation for praise

Fri Aug 27 02:20:13 UTC 2010

Hi Kathy,

My son Ben started piano when he was 7. He is now 10 and preparing for the Level 3 Syllabus in the Spring. We found a teacher who was comfortable teaching a blind child by ear. 
I take notes during the lesson, so if he has questions, I can repeat what the piano teacher has said. As for his songs, we record them, he listens at home, learns the songs and practices them on the piano. I would love for Ben to learn the braille music code and I am hoping that when he gets to middle school in 6th grade here, he can sign up for Band, and then have support from a TVI. I hope this is helpful.

Crystal
Oregon

> Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2010 18:07:05 -0700
> From: burgawicki at yahoo.com
> To: blindkid at nfbnet.org
> Subject: Re: [blindkid] no appreciation for praise
> 
> Richard,
> 
> Addie(4) also has a great ear for music with the ability to recongnize pitch all 
> those sorts of things. (I'm not muscially blessed, can you tell?) :) Anyway, I 
> was wondering if you started Kendra in any music lessons? I'd like to start 
> Addie with piano, but don't know how to go about finding a teacher comfortable 
> teaching braille music or a blind child.
> 
> Kathy
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ________________________________
> From: Richard Holloway <rholloway at gopbc.org>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List, (for parents of blind children)" 
> <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Sat, August 21, 2010 11:21:08 PM
> Subject: Re: [blindkid] no appreciation for praise
> 
> Barbara, I generally go ahead and offer her a small amount of praise (and often 
> make her mad too), but I try to keep it as minimal as I can manage. I think that 
> at least small amounts of acknowledgment and positive reinforcement are a good 
> thing, in nearly every case. There must be something to the notion that she'll 
> grow into better acceptance of complementary things over time as well. That's 
> what I read when I look for answers on the topic.
> 
> As I just mentioned in a reply to Bonnie, it appears that (despite her claim to 
> the contrary) Kendra is actually progressing at least a bit with her ability on 
> a conventional keyboard, but she denies having been the one typing what I found, 
> which no doubt from her standpoint would avert the likelihood that she'd have to 
> deal with any praise. (Why would I tell her she did a good job if she tells me 
> up front that she didn't do the work I found.) Sort of clever and irritating all 
> at once, right?
> 
> Kendra also has a keen musical ability with outstanding pitch recognition and 
> memory. When she was younger (3 or 4) she'd share that ability openly. Now she 
> claims not to know what notes things are or what keys pieces are in, etc. 
> Again, no need to worry about praise if she can't do the thing. The problem is, 
> she "slips up" every now and then, by complaining that something is in the wrong 
> key for example, or asking what some particular song she just heard was. I might 
> say "which one?" and instead of saying, "the one about the boat", she'll say 
> "the one in G Major", etc., (And when I check, she's invariably right.) In that 
> case, I just go forward with the discussion and skip the praise beyond maybe 
> saying "Oh, the on in G Major was..."
> 
> This is not a great answer to your question I realize, but I'm still trying to 
> figure out the whole cause of the problem in our case. My best guess is it may 
> have something to do with having too many people over-praise her when she was 
> really young. As some on this list have observed in the past, it really is not 
> so terribly amazing that our kids can walk across a classroom or flip on a light 
> switch and when people "go over the top" telling our kids what a great job they 
> did, I think it at least perpetuates the problem.
> 
> I'm seeing the same thing a little bit with my (sighted) son right now a bit. 
> He's 4 years old and just started riding the school bus. The sweet lady who 
> drives the bus keeps telling him what a good job he's doing when he steps up 
> onto the bus. Well yes, he's doing fine, but he's been walking up steps for a 
> while. I think he's pretty much over being praised for that. It happens to a lot 
> of kids, but I think some sighted adults tend to really over-do it with blind 
> kids. They don't know how THEY would do that if THEY could not see, so it seems 
> amazing to them...
> 
> For now, all I know to do is to keep continue to offer modest amounts of praise, 
> at lest for "praise-worthy" things. The other thing I try to do is to make 
> certain she hears others being given (and ACCEPTING) appropriate positive 
> feedback around the house.
> 
> If you find something that helps, please share it with me as I'd love to see 
> this ongoing challenge vanish!
> 
> Richard
> 
> 
> 
> On Aug 21, 2010, at 9:42 PM, Barbara Hammel wrote:
> 
> > Richard, we've one who hates to be praised also so am wondering what you do to 
> >let Kendra know she's done well. We have to say good job doing ... or just 
> >thank him for doing it.
> > Barbara
> > 
> > ...
> > Yesterday is
> > A path well-trod,
> > A familiar lane
> > Through sacred sod,
> > A road we travel
> > Too often, I fear,
> > For there are the good times
> > When things are hard here,
> > ...
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> 
> 
> 
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