[blindkid] [Bulk] Social behavior

Arielle Silverman arielle71 at gmail.com
Wed Oct 26 15:47:00 UTC 2011


Hi all,
I have been blind from birth, have had lifelong struggles with
eye-poking and rocking issues, and am also a doctoral student in
psychology, so I have some pretty strong opinions about this topic. I
think it is important to remember that sighted children (and adults)
typically move their hands or bodies to some extent when they get
excited, too. I’ve also heard rumors that sighted people sometimes
fidget when they’re bored. Research shows that all human beings are
hard-wired to express their feelings through movement, and sighted
infants often begin gesturing before they can talk to express their
needs and wants. The only difference between blind and sighted
children in this regard is that blind children have not learned what
kinds of movements other people around them use to express their
emotions. I think blind children come up with behaviors like rocking,
straightening their arms or swinging their heads in order to act on
their instinctual drive to express their emotions through movement.
Behaviors like rocking are simple and don’t need to be learned by
watching others do them, so they serve as good replacements for hand
gestures etc. The only reason rocking, etc. are seen as such taboo
behaviors is because they are not movements shared by the general
public, and they are movements also seen in people with neurological
conditions like autism. This makes sense, given that one of the major
signs of autism is difficulty mimicking other people’s nonverbal
behaviors. If children cannot learn how others around them gesture and
move (either because they can’t see or because their brains don’t
process the information), they come up with movements of their own.
I believe that just telling a child to stop their movements without
offering any alternatives is unfair, unrealistic and largely
ineffective. Imagine being told you had to stand completely still and
could never move your hands during a conversation, ever. Regardless of
how much they want to fit in, blind children will struggle to stop
these behaviors unless they are given alternatives that are functional
for expressing their emotions through movement. I think the first step
is to find out what movements are “typical” and then attempt to teach
them to your child. What do sighted kids do when they get excited?
Bored? Tired? Maybe even looking at an acting textbook might be
helpful. Then, maybe you or the OT can help your child learn some
simple movements to do when they are happy, tired, etc. Have your
child practice like it’s homework and give rewards when they learn the
gestures or movements and start using them appropriately. I really
really wish someone had done that with me when I was a kid, because it
is very hard as an adult to try to break the bad habits and
simultaneously learn to gesture and move in natural-looking ways.
The other thing that’s important here is to teach self-control and
appropriateness in different situations. I don’t think expecting your
child to never engage in an unusual mannerism ever again is realistic.
But you can certainly ask that they stay still in certain situations
(i.e. in public) with the understanding they can do whatever they want
with their bodies when they are at home or by themselves (as long as
it’s safe of course). This kind of self-regulation has been an
important part of my own growth as I have learned to be very conscious
of how I am carrying myself when in a professional or social setting,
with the knowledge that I can let myself go in other settings.
Best,
Arielle


On 10/26/11, Richard Holloway <rholloway at gopbc.org> wrote:
> I think it is important to remember that social pressure that most sighted
> kids will perceive when other kids stop and stare have no real effect when a
> blind child is unaware of others' reactions. At age 5, I'm not certain it is
> time to make a big issue of that, but at my daughter's age (9) we do make a
> point of letting her know when she is making a spectacle of herself,
> especially if it begins to spiral out of control.
>
> I would certainly focus a lot more on gentle redirection to alternative
> behaviors first before offering too many reasons for a child to stress over
> what other think, especially at age five. Also, from what I can gather,
> schools for the blind are not the best places to expect "blindisms" to be
> addressed. They are so common there that I think many of the schools pretty
> much ignore most of them. As might make sense, mainstream behavior is much
> more expected in the mainstream schools and classes.
>
> Expect less correction of blindisms in isolated classrooms as well. Even if
> it is in the IEP, it is unlikely to become a priority in that environment,
> partly because many other kids in the room are less likely to have the same
> social reactions to these behaviors.
>
> Richard
>
>
>
> On Oct 26, 2011, at 9:37 AM, Carly B wrote:
>
>> I think replacement behaviors may really be the key here, especially ones
>> that are not really noticeable. When I have told my son to stop, it has
>> had
>> no effect whatsoever, in fact, it's made him stubborn and defensive about
>> it. I think sometimes kids just have to have their own "buy in" like you
>> did, Brandy. I really think my own son may need to have his own "real
>> consequences." Since we plan to remove him from the Academy in the next
>> year
>> or two, and he will be mainstreamed, that may be the time when that
>> happens.
>>
>> :) Carolynn
>> On Wed, Oct 26, 2011 at 8:15 AM, Brandy W <branlw at sbcglobal.net> wrote:
>>
>>> Yes you can tell him to stop, and you need to!!! It is perfect to find
>>> replacement behaviors, but he must not do this. It already looks weird in
>>> kinder, and just imagine what it will look like in years when he is a
>>> tween,
>>> and everyone is laughing, and worse yet when he is in college? I speak
>>> from
>>> experience. I eye poked, sometimes gently rocked, and I sucked my little
>>> finger. Non of this was OK, and no one stopped me. Not even at the blind
>>> school. It was horrible and hard to break! It took me some very good
>>> friends, real consequences, and a lot of persistence to stop these
>>> things. I
>>> still sometimes go backwards to these behaviors when I'm sick or
>>> stressed. I
>>> wish someone had stopped me when I was 5 for sure!
>>>
>>> Some replacement behaviors are providing a trampoline for an appropriate
>>> place to bounce, Give him the words and appropriate gestures for when he
>>> is
>>> excited, give him appropriate swinging and rocking chairs to get this out
>>> appropriately.
>>>
>>> So you can and do need to make him stop!
>>>
>>> Bran
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> "When we treat children's play as seriously as it deserves, we are
>>> helping
>>> them feel the joy that's to be found in the creative spirit. It's the
>>> things
>>> we play with and the people who help us play that make a great difference
>>> in
>>> our lives."
>>> - Fred Rogers
>>>
>>> Brandy Wojcik
>>> Discovery Toys Educational Consultant and Team Leader
>>> www.playtoachieve.com
>>> (512) 689-5045
>>>
>>> Looking for team members nation wide!
>>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Erin Teply" <eteply at cfl.rr.com>
>>> To: "(for parents of blind children) NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List" <
>>> blindkid at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Wednesday, October 26, 2011 7:51 AM
>>> Subject: [Bulk] [blindkid] Social behavior
>>>
>>>
>>> Hello everyone,
>>>>
>>>> I am some questions around social behavior (at least I think that is the
>>>> best description!).  My son Max, is 5 and in mainstream kindergarten.
>>>> He
>>>> has some 'blindisms' as I call them or some different social behaviors
>>>> when
>>>> he gets excited.  He tends to rock his body back and forth and sort of
>>>> do a
>>>> strange 'arm-straightener' thing when he gets excited or really wants to
>>>> say
>>>> something.  We see this at home in just these cases and I believe the
>>>> same
>>>> at school, but because he has to 'sit still' so much more at school, I
>>>> think
>>>> the behaviors are more pronounced and/or more often.  I have a meeting
>>>> tomorrow with his OT and mobility teacher on what we can do to replace
>>>> or
>>>> minimize these behaviors.  As we all know, you simply can't tell the
>>>> child
>>>> to *stop* this because then they think, "well then what?". How have some
>>>> of
>>>> you dealt with this type of thing?  I think the main concern from his OT
>>>> that this is socially not acceptable.  Any thoughts are appreciated.
>>>>
>>>> Thank you,
>>>> Erin Teply
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
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>>>
>>>
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