[blindkid] [Bulk] Social behavior

[David Andrews]

Arielle:

I agree with you -- but I also think that there is one more aspect to 
so-called blindisms, particularly eye poking.  And ... I am a 58 year 
old totally blind adult, so been there and all that.  I think there 
is an aspect of self stimulation to some of these behaviors, 
particularly eye poking.  Sighted persons receive a great deal of 
their stimulation visually, and without that channel we may turn to 
other things to not get bored etc.

Dave

At 10:47 AM 10/26/2011, you wrote:
>Hi all,
>I have been blind from birth, have had lifelong struggles with
>eye-poking and rocking issues, and am also a doctoral student in
>psychology, so I have some pretty strong opinions about this topic. I
>think it is important to remember that sighted children (and adults)
>typically move their hands or bodies to some extent when they get
>excited, too. I've also heard rumors that sighted people sometimes
>fidget when they're bored. Research shows that all human beings are
>hard-wired to express their feelings through movement, and sighted
>infants often begin gesturing before they can talk to express their
>needs and wants. The only difference between blind and sighted
>children in this regard is that blind children have not learned what
>kinds of movements other people around them use to express their
>emotions. I think blind children come up with behaviors like rocking,
>straightening their arms or swinging their heads in order to act on
>their instinctual drive to express their emotions through movement.
>Behaviors like rocking are simple and don't need to be learned by
>watching others do them, so they serve as good replacements for hand
>gestures etc. The only reason rocking, etc. are seen as such taboo
>behaviors is because they are not movements shared by the general
>public, and they are movements also seen in people with neurological
>conditions like autism. This makes sense, given that one of the major
>signs of autism is difficulty mimicking other people's nonverbal
>behaviors. If children cannot learn how others around them gesture and
>move (either because they can't see or because their brains don't
>process the information), they come up with movements of their own.
>I believe that just telling a child to stop their movements without
>offering any alternatives is unfair, unrealistic and largely
>ineffective. Imagine being told you had to stand completely still and
>could never move your hands during a conversation, ever. Regardless of
>how much they want to fit in, blind children will struggle to stop
>these behaviors unless they are given alternatives that are functional
>for expressing their emotions through movement. I think the first step
>is to find out what movements are "typical" and then attempt to teach
>them to your child. What do sighted kids do when they get excited?
>Bored? Tired? Maybe even looking at an acting textbook might be
>helpful. Then, maybe you or the OT can help your child learn some
>simple movements to do when they are happy, tired, etc. Have your
>child practice like it's homework and give rewards when they learn the
>gestures or movements and start using them appropriately. I really
>really wish someone had done that with me when I was a kid, because it
>is very hard as an adult to try to break the bad habits and
>simultaneously learn to gesture and move in natural-looking ways.
>The other thing that's important here is to teach self-control and
>appropriateness in different situations. I don't think expecting your
>child to never engage in an unusual mannerism ever again is realistic.
>But you can certainly ask that they stay still in certain situations
>(i.e. in public) with the understanding they can do whatever they want
>with their bodies when they are at home or by themselves (as long as
>it's safe of course). This kind of self-regulation has been an
>important part of my own growth as I have learned to be very conscious
>of how I am carrying myself when in a professional or social setting,
>with the knowledge that I can let myself go in other settings.
>Best,
>Arielle
>
>
>On 10/26/11, Richard Holloway <rholloway at gopbc.org> wrote:
> > I think it is important to remember that social pressure that most sighted
> > kids will perceive when other kids stop and stare have no real 
> effect when a
> > blind child is unaware of others' reactions. At age 5, I'm not 
> certain it is
> > time to make a big issue of that, but at my daughter's age (9) we do make a
> > point of letting her know when she is making a spectacle of herself,
> > especially if it begins to spiral out of control.
> >
> > I would certainly focus a lot more on gentle redirection to alternative
> > behaviors first before offering too many reasons for a child to stress over
> > what other think, especially at age five. Also, from what I can gather,
> > schools for the blind are not the best places to expect "blindisms" to be
> > addressed. They are so common there that I think many of the schools pretty
> > much ignore most of them. As might make sense, mainstream behavior is much
> > more expected in the mainstream schools and classes.
> >
> > Expect less correction of blindisms in isolated classrooms as well. Even if
> > it is in the IEP, it is unlikely to become a priority in that environment,
> > partly because many other kids in the room are less likely to have the same
> > social reactions to these behaviors.
> >
> > Richard
> >
> >
> >
> > On Oct 26, 2011, at 9:37 AM, Carly B wrote:
> >
> >> I think replacement behaviors may really be the key here, especially ones
> >> that are not really noticeable. When I have told my son to stop, it has
> >> had
> >> no effect whatsoever, in fact, it's made him stubborn and defensive about
> >> it. I think sometimes kids just have to have their own "buy in" like you
> >> did, Brandy. I really think my own son may need to have his own "real
> >> consequences." Since we plan to remove him from the Academy in the next
> >> year
> >> or two, and he will be mainstreamed, that may be the time when that
> >> happens.
> >>
> >> :) Carolynn
> >> On Wed, Oct 26, 2011 at 8:15 AM, Brandy W <branlw at sbcglobal.net> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Yes you can tell him to stop, and you need to!!! It is perfect to find
> >>> replacement behaviors, but he must not do this. It already looks weird in
> >>> kinder, and just imagine what it will look like in years when he is a
> >>> tween,
> >>> and everyone is laughing, and worse yet when he is in college? I speak
> >>> from
> >>> experience. I eye poked, sometimes gently rocked, and I sucked my little
> >>> finger. Non of this was OK, and no one stopped me. Not even at the blind
> >>> school. It was horrible and hard to break! It took me some very good
> >>> friends, real consequences, and a lot of persistence to stop these
> >>> things. I
> >>> still sometimes go backwards to these behaviors when I'm sick or
> >>> stressed. I
> >>> wish someone had stopped me when I was 5 for sure!
> >>>
> >>> Some replacement behaviors are providing a trampoline for an appropriate
> >>> place to bounce, Give him the words and appropriate gestures for when he
> >>> is
> >>> excited, give him appropriate swinging and rocking chairs to get this out
> >>> appropriately.
> >>>
> >>> So you can and do need to make him stop!
> >>>
> >>> Bran
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> "When we treat children's play as seriously as it deserves, we are
> >>> helping
> >>> them feel the joy that's to be found in the creative spirit. It's the
> >>> things
> >>> we play with and the people who help us play that make a great difference
> >>> in
> >>> our lives."
> >>> - Fred Rogers
> >>>
> >>> Brandy Wojcik
> >>> Discovery Toys Educational Consultant and Team Leader
> >>> www.playtoachieve.com
> >>> (512) 689-5045
> >>>
> >>> Looking for team members nation wide!
> >>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Erin Teply" <eteply at cfl.rr.com>
> >>> To: "(for parents of blind children) NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List" <
> >>> blindkid at nfbnet.org>
> >>> Sent: Wednesday, October 26, 2011 7:51 AM
> >>> Subject: [Bulk] [blindkid] Social behavior
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> Hello everyone,
> >>>>
> >>>> I am some questions around social behavior (at least I think that is the
> >>>> best description!).  My son Max, is 5 and in mainstream kindergarten.
> >>>> He
> >>>> has some 'blindisms' as I call them or some different social behaviors
> >>>> when
> >>>> he gets excited.  He tends to rock his body back and forth and sort of
> >>>> do a
> >>>> strange 'arm-straightener' thing when he gets excited or really wants to
> >>>> say
> >>>> something.  We see this at home in just these cases and I believe the
> >>>> same
> >>>> at school, but because he has to 'sit still' so much more at school, I
> >>>> think
> >>>> the behaviors are more pronounced and/or more often.  I have a meeting
> >>>> tomorrow with his OT and mobility teacher on what we can do to replace
> >>>> or
> >>>> minimize these behaviors.  As we all know, you simply can't tell the
> >>>> child
> >>>> to *stop* this because then they think, "well then what?". How have some
> >>>> of
> >>>> you dealt with this type of thing?  I think the main concern from his OT
> >>>> that this is socially not acceptable.  Any thoughts are appreciated.
> >>>>
> >>>> Thank you,
> >>>> Erin Teply