[blindkid] Relating to Other Kids [Was RE: Dealing with selfish behavior]

Allison Hilliker via blindkid blindkid at nfbnet.org
Mon Jun 2 19:42:49 UTC 2014


Hi all,

It has been said that many factors in a blind child's life can make it harder for him/her to relate to kids their own age. I agree with this and wanted to share my experience.

I think that perhaps the single most beneficial thing my mom did to help me fit in with kids my own age was to continuously expose me to pop culture trends that my sighted classmates were into. As a blind kid, I missed out on a lot of incidental exposure to what was "cool," but my mom knew it was important for me to know such things because they helped me blend in. She helped me learn what other kids were wearing, what toys they were playing with, what music they listened to, what shows they watched, what celebrities were faves, what books they read, etc. Knowing these seemingly unimportant things made a big difference because they helped me seem more normal. My blindness may've made me stand out, but that glaring difference seemed less apparent to other kids if I could talk with them about current music or their favorite shows. 

Any parent can make an effort to know what's popular for kids in your child's age group. The easiest way is to observe your child's peers, but you can also find out via various media. For example, even if you're a smooth jazz fan and think most modern music is junk, you may want to keep the current pop station on when you're in the car with your child so he/she is exposed to typical kid material. Even though knowing the history of jazz music may make your child a more well-round adult one day, it could definitely make him seem weird if that's all he can talk about at his classmate's birthday party. 

My mom used to read me articles from teen magazines and she also made sure I got a Braille and audio copy of Seventeen from our local library for the blind. When other kids my age first started jumping rope, my  mom made sure to buy me one and teach me how to use it so I wouldn't stand out on the playground. Swimming was very popular in my neighborhood so my mom made sure I knew how to swim and that I knew common water games. My mom taught me how to twist my hair into an inside-out ponytail when that was popular. She got me stickers from our local radio station to put inside my school locker even though I couldn't actually see them. That may seem superficial, but they were great conversation starters and also made my locker look like the other kids'. We did the same with celebrity posters on my bedroom walls. My mom encouraged me to try out make-up and nail polish because that's what the other girls were doing. Sure I couldn't see the colors, and I honestly didn't much like how make-up felt, but it was much easier to chat with other girls in the school bathroom if I too had a tube of lip gloss to put on. 

Not only was I blind, but I was also an only child, so I feel that I had to work extra hard to fit in with kids my own age. But I think my mom did an excellent job with helping me out in that area because my childhood seems incredibly normal when compared to those of some of my adult blind friends.

Even as an adult I find that keeping current on pop culture helps me out in social situations with sighted acquaintances. For example, several years ago I was on a business trip with a rather quiet coworker. She didn't have much experience with blind people. That fact, combined with her natural shyness, made our first few conversations very awkward. I had almost given up on connecting with her when the topic of American Idol came up. I'm only an occasional fan of that show, but I had been watching it that particular season for some reason. Suddenly my reserved coworker and I found ourselves in comfortable conversation because we broke the ice with something she and I could both relate to. This ice-breaking technique can work for anyone of course, but I think it was especially important for me as a blind person because many sighted people assume that I won't know anything about the regular things they like. I find that my pop culture knowledge helps sighted people understand that I'm more like them than they think and that we can have things in common.

Just some random food for thought for you all. Not sure it was helpful. I'll stop rambling and head back to work now. :)

Best,
Allison







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