[humanser] A not so good experience

[solsticesinger]

I'm sorry you had such an experience. I can totally understand why you felt 
embarrassed.

However, from what you say here, it doesn't seem like your blindness factors 
into it at all. You were confused by the concepts in the book. That could 
happen to anyone, blind or sighted, especially if they aren't a math whiz. 
Because you were confused, the student called another teacher over. I can 
definitely see how that could make you feel bad, but, maybe, just maybe, 
you're taking the whole thing just a little too personally.

In future, if you're confused by something, it might help for you to take a 
few minutes to look over the matterial on your own, seeing what it is that 
confuses you. Then, if it's something you truly don't understand, it could 
be helpful for you to suggest calling someone else over to help. That way, 
you're in control of the situation.

Again, I'm really sorry you had to go through something like this.

Shannon
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Cari Kness" <carisuekness at gmail.com>
To: "human service list" <humanser at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, February 24, 2010 8:57 PM
Subject: [humanser] A not so good experience


Hi All,
I had an experience today that I'm really upset about. Not only am I
upset about the experience itself, I'm upset about the way I handled
it. I bring this up because I have no doubt that I'll have to deal
with similar experiences in the future. I'm looking for some feedback
of more appropriate ways of handling this and some suggestions of
what I can do either now or in the future.
I'm a free lance peer tutor at school. I tutor elementary and
intermediate algebra. I have a student who is returning to school and
she happens to be in the Human Service associate degree program as I
am. I worked with her for the second time today. My favorite spot
happened to be taken today so my student suggested we go to the
learning center lab. The learning center is for students who have
learning disabilities or who are getting their High school
equivalency. The learning center is staffed with several full time
teachers and some student tutors who have regular shifts there. I
know a hand full of the teachers and a few students working there and
more who use the service. I normally don't like to work there either
as a tutor or student being tutored because people around us may need
it quiet for test taking and the like. Today since my student
suggested we go there I decided to go along with it. I figured,
"after all, what's the worst thing that can happen?" We started
working and all was good until it was time to move on to the next
concept in the book. She has been out sick for the last few class
periods and has not seen this stuff yet. The way I've been working it
is to go over the examples in the book verbally with the student.
This way I'll know what we are doing and the student has another
chance to go over the concepts and express what they need help doing.
Apparently my student today didn't read completely what the book was
saying. I'm new to this tutoring thing and I'm not a 100% math
goddess. I'm only human. Well, because I didn't have a clear picture
about what we were doing I followed the directions and got confused
trying to relate back to how I learned the same stuff a year ago. My
student called over a learning center teacher. I felt like a total
idiot. I tried to express to this teacher that I'm a peer tutor and
that I've been working with this student for the past hour or so. The
student insisted on working with the teacher. I felt so belittled,
embarrassed, horrified and invalidated. I felt like she was going to
that teacher because I'm blind and don't know what I'm talking about.
The teacher decided to take over for a while and after that she
lingered. She finally went away for a while and then kept drifting
back. I was really offended both at the student and the teacher. I
made it clear that I didn't care for the way this session was going
and I did everything in my power to both take back my control and not
make a major scene. I did end up making a little scene and I never
felt completely back in control.
I know I learned in the tutor training that the student tutor is one
of many resources offered and that the tutor should encourage the
students to use every resources necessary. I guess I didn't expect
that a student would call another teacher over. It would be different
if the teacher was the math teacher but it wasn't. I tried to back
peddle and explain why I reacted like I did but I don't think my
student really understood. So, I was unhappy with the way things
unfolded and I was unhappy with the way I handled myself. I'm sure I
made a total ass out of myself. I felt that the teacher was hanging
around because she didn't feel that I could adequately help my
student because I'm blind.
I'm sure this will come up again with future coworkers, clients and
their families etc.  How do I get over the "blindness knee jerk"
reaction? Are there specific ways I can assert myself without making
a total ass of myself and yet get my point and position across?
Thanks for listening and in advance for any thoughts.
Peace,
Cari


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