[nabs-l] Independent Travel At Crowded Major CollegeSporting Events

[Joe Orozco]

Jedi,

Even the Louisiana Center builds up to the point where students are sent to
unfamiliar towns to fulfill a task.  I think Kerri is brave as all get out
to even consider showing up to a stadium by herself, and while we all wish
her the best and are rooting for her to have a good time, I would hate for
her to run the risk of having a rotten time and assume this might be a
reflection of what it might be like to tackle other tasks that are more
easily accomplished.  Sometimes you need to get out and do things to build
up your confidence.  I chose not to attend a center and understood when I
made that choice that I would need to find my own way to push my limits, but
I have also understood that it is far more profitable to tackle the everyday
tasks that are going to build my core than it is to go on adventures that
might only bring about more frustrations in the process of achieving them.
For example, in my line of work I have to attend large events where I know
absolutely no one.  As the lead development and fundraising person for my
organization, I have to try to make key contacts in order to meet our
multimillion-dollar budget every year.  I've built up to attending larger
conventions.  I started with smaller roundtable presentations, and while my
confidence is sometimes swayed when I show up in large ballrooms, I don't
know that going to a stadium concert, for example, will do anything to help
me out in these everyday types of situations.  So, if Kerri pulls it off
this weekend, I say, "hell yeah!"  Write an article about it and show us all
how's it's done, but if she doesn't it's okay too, because independence is
genuinely developed through everyday practice and not through major leaps.

Best,

Joe

"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves,
some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing 

-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org 
[mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jedi
Sent: Thursday, November 11, 2010 12:05 AM
To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Independent Travel At Crowded Major 
CollegeSporting Events

Kimberly,

This is with no offense meant, so plese don't take it this way. That 
said, I'm sorry if my comments do seem offensive.

I do wish you hadn't made the football stadium sound so dangerous. The 
truth is that stairs, parking lots, and even drunks are completely 
manageable. This is true even for folks new to independence. Kerri, 
you're not on an independence high: you're trying to see what you can 
do and stretch beyond what you once thought to be your limits. This is 
totally normal for folks who are just starting out. While it is true 
that you want to be safe and take things slow as you get your feet wet 
as it were, understand that you have to brave what you sometimes might 
think of as danger in order to get where you want. That doesn't mean 
abandon caution, but it does mean that one should not be needlessly 
afraid. Ask for help when you need it, but don't be afraid to go it 
alone when you want or need to.

Respectfully,
Jedi


Original message:
> Hi Kimberly, Jedi and All:

> Wow, Kimberly thank you so much!
> I have been to our stadium several times and knew the parking lot was
> huge, sprawling, and full of drunks. I guess since I was always guided
> I forgot about all the steps!
> I'm glad to finally find a fellow sports fan who follows a school in
> the Big East conference...we play you guys there next week actually on
> Nov. 20...I just wrote a story about the game being televised on the
> Big East Network.

> Thanks Kimberly for giving me a little wake-up call. I guess I'm kind
> of on an independence high from the basketball game last week.
> Your right that the basketball games are much calmer and a better
> atmosphere...they are inside a building and I don't know of anyone who
> drinks there...I don't even think they sell beer there.

> Thanks so much...I want to be safe but also find and practice my
> independence as well.

> Here is what I may do.

> Let me know what you guys think about this considering what 
Kimberly said.

> I have an extra ticket for the football game Saturday. I go to the
> game with someone. I go to the basketball game Friday by myself as I
> did last week and really try to see if I can practice
> independence...try to find my seat by asking for section numbers, and
> see if I can get to the concession stand...that sorta thing.

> Then I can be somewhat independent on my birthday, I still get to do
> all the things I want to, but still be safe.

> And Kimberly...thank you so much...you may have just kept me from a
> dizasterous and potentially very dangerous and harmful situation!

> Hope your stay in Morgantown was a good one; it is a big problem that
> there are no blind people around here but I intend to do what I can to
> solve it eventually!

> Kerri

> On 11/9/10, Kimberly thurman <kimthurman at insightbb.com> wrote:
>> Kerry and all:

>> I usually don't give my opinions on this list often, but I 
have to jump in
>> here.  I live in Louisville, Kentucky, home of the 
University of Louisville,
>> a school in The Big East Conference with your school, West 
Virginia.  I have
>> been to a football game there in Morgantown when the University of
>> Louisville played West Virginia.

>> I don't want to squash your eagerness to be independent, but 
 one of these
>> football games is not the time to practice it.  I don't know too many
>> sighted women who would go to one of these events alone.  
The area you would
>> be traveling in is massive and noisy.  The stadium is quite 
dangerous with
>> steps and more steps everywhere.  The tailgating parking 
lots are full of
>> drunks and cars.  I have gone with my sighted husband, and 
he has to be on
>> full alert while navigating these places himself.

>> The basketball game might be doable if you can get into the 
building on your
>> own.  The atmosphere at those events is not quite as rowdy 
and the venue is
>> not so daunting.  I think you could get directions there 
from some nice
>> people.  Do not be afraid to take help when it is offered.  
I will take all
>> the help I can get when I walk into the restrooms at these 
events by myself.
>>  I carry the cane just so people will know I am blind.  
There are usually
>> lines, which I don't want to cut and make people angry.  
Most of the time
>> someone will let me cut the line anyway.  People are usually 
very nice.
>> Just try to be pleasant when you refuse help, so that person 
will get a
>> positive image of blind people.

>> Sorry for all the advice, but I just want you to be safe 
while maintaining
>> your independence.  See if you can get someone to go with you to the
>> football game.  I think you will enjoy it much better.
>> On Nov 8, 2010, at 11:08 PM, Kerri Kosten wrote:

>>> Hi Jedi and all:

>>> Thanks so much for your answers! For the upcoming basketball game I
>>> will definitely be more assertive with the people and tell them
>>> exactly what I want...I think I can do the basketball game fine!!
>>> Thanks so much!

>>> I would absolutely love love to go to the football game with another
>>> blind person but there aren't any other blind people around here.
>>> That's the problem with that idea...you have no idea how 
much I'd love
>>> to do that...if there were another blind person around here 
I wouldn't
>>> be asking the questions I do on this list lol but 
unfortunately there
>>> isn't.

>>> Okay onto the female thing...honestly when I really really sit and
>>> think about it...the reason I bring the whole blind female 
thing up is
>>> that I'm scared something bad will happen...a drunken man grabbing
>>> me...someone pushing me and knocking me down (I'm really petite),
>>> something like that...going with another blind woman would 
certainaly
>>> squash this fear...but there aren't any around here.

>>> Since I don't have any other blind people to go with, and your right
>>> it would be kind of silly asking a sighted person to let me take
>>> charge of the travel...since there are so many drunks at this game
>>> would it maybe be best for me to call the ticket office 
ahead, explain
>>> the situation, get to the game super early, and have someone from
>>> security or who works at the stadium help me into the game early (so
>>> there are no lines), I listen to the game, then maybe could make
>>> arrangements to meet someone afterwords somewhere to get home?
>>> I know this isn't at all independent travel but with the situation
>>> would that be better or should I try to go for the true 
doing it on my
>>> own?

>>> Kerri
>>> Kerri

>>> On 11/8/10, Jedi <loneblindjedi at samobile.net> wrote:
>>>> Kerri,

>>>> About asking for directions and refusing assistance. You're on the
>>>> right track. Just let folks know that you're okay and tell 
them what
>>>> kind of help they can give you if at all. Otherwise, say 
no thanks and
>>>> move on. If they insist on helping you, just be polite, 
yet firm, in
>>>> your refusal by stating that you're not interested in 
receiving certain
>>>> kinds of help and would prefer other forms of help instead.

>>>> As to taking a sighted person along but you being in 
charge, it is a
>>>> little impractical to tell a sighted person to take the back seat
>>>> because they don't know how. They will want to help you, so they'll
>>>> interfear. Otherwise, they'll just be super anxious and no 
fun to be
>>>> around. So your better bet is to either go it alone or ask 
a friend to
>>>> go who you know won't get in your way. If you can, I'd recommend
>>>> inviting a blind friend to tag along.

>>>> You asked about being a female and going to these kind of 
events. I'll
>>>> be honest: it's really hard (just as is true with 
blindness) to stop
>>>> thinking of oneself as a helpless and defenseless female 
at the mercy
>>>> of potentially drunken men. You talked about people 
thinking of you as
>>>> the poor blind girl. It sounds like you're still 
struggling with that
>>>> in your own mind. If it were me, I'd probably go with 
someone just to
>>>> have someone to talk to and because the buddy system is 
always a safe
>>>> bet no matter your sex or vision status. But if at all possible, go
>>>> with another blind woman. That way, you'll know in your 
heart that sex
>>>> nor vision has anything to do with anything.

>>>> Good luck.

>>>> Respectfully,
>>>> Jedi

>>>> Original message:
>>>>> Hi All!

>>>>> I have some more travel questions, this time about 
navigating sporting
>>>>> events.

>>>>> I am a huge sports fan. My team is the West Virginia University
>>>>> Mountaineers, we made it to the Final Four last year in 
Basketball and
>>>>> are a major Division I school.

>>>>> I am trying to do what I want when I want and keep a 
positive attitude.

>>>>> This coming weekend is my birthday. All I really want is 
to practice
>>>>> independent travel and feel the confidence that comes 
from doing what
>>>>> you want when you want independently and knowing you used 
your cane
>>>>> and for the most part did it yourself. There is a 
basketball game this
>>>>> Friday, and a football game this Saturday.

>>>>> First I'll start with the questions about the basketball 
game, then
>>>>> move to football. I attended a basketball game last week 
and things
>>>>> went well for the most part but I do have a few questions.

>>>>> First, how do you explain to sighted people that you 
appreciate their
>>>>> help but you need to explore on your own? At the basketball game
>>>>> Friday, I want to try to find my seat on my own...I want 
to pass each
>>>>> section (not go into each section but walk past it) and 
every once in
>>>>> a while randomly ask someone "Excuse me what section is this?" Oh,
>>>>> this is section 45...I need section 60...I need to keep 
going...kind
>>>>> of like the way everyone finds their delegations at national
>>>>> convention or the way you find your gate for a flight at 
an airport. I
>>>>> need to explore, not be guided! Of course though the 
sighted people
>>>>> just want to guide...how do I let them know their help is 
appreciated
>>>>> but I need to explore on my own and that all I need is 
some directions
>>>>> towards say the ticket window or the concession stand?

>>>>> Also, because I haven't had much practice using my cane I 
don't walk
>>>>> as fast as I should. Because of this when I am lost...I look lost.
>>>>> Another thing I do is when I am unsure of where to go I 
tend to doubt
>>>>> myself and turn around thinking I am going in the wrong 
direction when
>>>>> in fact I am usually going the right way! How do you gain more
>>>>> confidence when lost? Does it just come with time? When 
your unsure do
>>>>> you just keep going even if you doubt yourself until you 
find someone
>>>>> who can give you directions or tell you if you are going the right
>>>>> way?

>>>>> On Saturday is a football game. About 60,000 people 
attend our games
>>>>> and they are a big deal. Being that next week is my 
birthday, I really
>>>>> want to go to the game. At the moment I don't have anyone 
to go with
>>>>> and thought it would be fun and a big boost of confidence 
to try going
>>>>> by myself.

>>>>> For the football game should I call ahead and let someone 
know I am
>>>>> coming so I can be watched out for? (I'm more scared of the drunks
>>>>> being a female not because of blindness)

>>>>> My concern is not so much getting to the game; my concern 
is after the
>>>>> game. After the games you have 60,000 people all trying 
to get home at
>>>>> the same time and traffic is horrible. There is no way I could get
>>>>> home after the game; a cab couldn't get near the stadium. I know
>>>>> several people who are tailgating. Would it be safe as a 
female to try
>>>>> navigating the parking lots with all the drunk tailgaters 
with my cane
>>>>> and just asking random directions? Do police or other emergency
>>>>> officials patrol the tailgating areas after the games or 
is it just
>>>>> the fans?

>>>>> Is it even possible or safe for a blind person, 
particularly a female
>>>>> to go to a major college football game by themselves? Has 
anyone on
>>>>> this list done it or know of anyone who has? Or, am I just crazy?

>>>>> Heres the thing. Almost all of the people around here 
feel sorry for
>>>>> me and see me as the poor blind girl. Many people also know my
>>>>> mother...and so not only do they see me as the little 
blind girl but
>>>>> if I call them to ask for help with anything they 
immediately want to
>>>>> know why my mother isn't doing it for me, or helping me 
or whatever.
>>>>> If I call someone such as my aunt and go to the game with 
her and her
>>>>> friends and they guide me everywhere (as sighted people 
seem to want
>>>>> to always do) what does that say to them? And, what does 
it tell them
>>>>> about my new NFB philosophy of cane travel and independence?

>>>>> Is there any way of going to the game with someone but 
them letting me
>>>>> be in charge of the traveling? Would that be too much to 
ask a sighted
>>>>> person? So, someone is with me, and I am holding their 
arm so we can
>>>>> stay together but I am in charge...asking for directions, 
telling them
>>>>> which way to go, trying to get us un-lost when we get 
lost...that sort
>>>>> of thing. So, that way I'm with someone but get to 
practice travel at
>>>>> the same time.

>>>>> The thing is if I'm just guided I never get the practice and
>>>>> confidence...

>>>>> Help! I'm torn...it's my birthday...I really want to  practice
>>>>> independent travel but also be safe...I love love love 
the idea of a
>>>>> person coming with me but me being in charge of the 
travel. I don't
>>>>> care how I do this football game but one way or the other 
I want to
>>>>> have some independent travel and feel that confidence whether with
>>>>> someone or not!
>>>>> Help!

>>>>> Wouldn't it be so cool to go to my aunt's tailgate aftr 
the game? I
>>>>> can hear her now..."Kerri! How did you get here? What are 
you doing
>>>>> here?" Me:"Oh I just got back from the game. I'm here 
with my cane...I
>>>>> just asked a bunch of directions." She'd probably scream lol!

>>>>> Thanks for all help and ideas!

>>>>> Kerri

>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your 
account info for
>>>>> nabs-l:
>>>>> 
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/loneblin
djedi%40samobile.net

>>>> --
>>>> Email services provided by the System Access Mobile Network.  Visit
>>>> www.serotek.com to learn more about accessibility anywhere.


>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your 
account info for
>>>> nabs-l:
>>>> 
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/kerrik20
06%40gmail.com


>>> _______________________________________________
>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your 
account info for
>>> nabs-l:
>>> 
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/kimthurm
an%40insightbb.com


>> _______________________________________________
>> nabs-l mailing list
>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> nabs-l:
>> 
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/kerrik20
06%40gmail.com


> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account 
info for nabs-l:
> 
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/loneblin
djedi%40samobile.net

-- 
Email services provided by the System Access Mobile Network.  Visit 
www.serotek.com to learn more about accessibility anywhere.

_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account 
info for nabs-l:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/jsorozco
%40gmail.com