[Nfbf-l] God and the Dog!

[Kathy Davis]

Kirk...this was priceless. Made me laugh outloud so thanks for sending.

Kathy
 

-----Original Message-----
From: nfbf-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfbf-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Kirk Harmon
Sent: Sunday, January 18, 2009 9:41 AM
To: NFB of Florida Listserv
Subject: [Nfbf-l] God and the Dog!

I couldn't help but think of our NFB Dog Lovers and thought this  might put
a smile on all of their faces! Dear God:  Is it on purpose our names are the
same, only reversed?

            Dear God:  Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever,
smell one another?

            Dear God:  When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or
is it still the same old story?

            Dear God:  Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the
cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one
named for a ddog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a
nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler
Beagle'?

            Dear God:  If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no
human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

            Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic
energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

            Dear God:  More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

            Dear God:  Are there mailmen in heaven? If there are, will I
have to apologize?



            Dear God:  Let me give you a list of just some of the things I
must remember to be a good dog.

              1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after
they throw it up.

              2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just
because I like the way they smell.

              3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.

              4. The sofa is not a face towel; neither are mom and dad's
laps.

              5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

              6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's
on the toilet.

              7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable
way of saying hello.

              8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under
the coffee table .

              9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering
the house, not after.

            10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt
across the carpet.

            11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my
crotch when we have company.

            12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and
he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

            13. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for
Mom's driver's license and registration.

            14. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 



            P.S.  Dear God: When I get to heaven may I have my testicles
back?


            'Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains
unawakened.'


             




           
                    
                   
                 

           




     

           
           

     








Kirk
Smiles are nothing more than 30 second Vacations!
 
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