[Nfbf-l] God and the Dog!

[Kirk Harmon]

Glad you got a chuckle out of it! I did as well, Kirk
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Kathy Davis" <kdavisnfbf at cfl.rr.com>
To: "'NFB of Florida Listserv'" <nfbf-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, January 18, 2009 4:49 PM
Subject: Re: [Nfbf-l] God and the Dog!


> Kirk...this was priceless. Made me laugh outloud so thanks for sending.
>
> Kathy
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nfbf-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfbf-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
> Behalf
> Of Kirk Harmon
> Sent: Sunday, January 18, 2009 9:41 AM
> To: NFB of Florida Listserv
> Subject: [Nfbf-l] God and the Dog!
>
> I couldn't help but think of our NFB Dog Lovers and thought this  might 
> put
> a smile on all of their faces! Dear God:  Is it on purpose our names are 
> the
> same, only reversed?
>
>            Dear God:  Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if 
> ever,
> smell one another?
>
>            Dear God:  When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or
> is it still the same old story?
>
>            Dear God:  Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the
> cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one
> named for a ddog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love 
> a
> nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 
> 'Chrysler
> Beagle'?
>
>            Dear God:  If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no
> human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
>
>            Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, 
> hand
> signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic
> energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
>
>            Dear God:  More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
>
>            Dear God:  Are there mailmen in heaven? If there are, will I
> have to apologize?
>
>
>
>            Dear God:  Let me give you a list of just some of the things I
> must remember to be a good dog.
>
>              1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after
> they throw it up.
>
>              2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just
> because I like the way they smell.
>
>              3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.
>
>              4. The sofa is not a face towel; neither are mom and dad's
> laps.
>
>              5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
>
>              6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's
> on the toilet.
>
>              7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable
> way of saying hello.
>
>              8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under
> the coffee table .
>
>              9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering
> the house, not after.
>
>            10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my 
> butt
> across the carpet.
>
>            11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my
> crotch when we have company.
>
>            12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and
> he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
>
>            13. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for
> Mom's driver's license and registration.
>
>            14. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
>
>
>
>            P.S.  Dear God: When I get to heaven may I have my testicles
> back?
>
>
>            'Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains
> unawakened.'
>
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> Kirk
> Smiles are nothing more than 30 second Vacations!
>
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