[Nfbf-l] ideas needed

[Jody W. Ianuzzi]

Hello Doreen,


I could write privately but this is such a good subject to share.  Everyone
has their own perspective to compare to.

I think Carolyn's programs for kids are fantastic as are all her programs.
It isn't that far to WPB for these events and they sound fantastic.

When I was growing up it was assumed I saw better then I did and just this
afternoon my mother said that I should have described my vision better so
they could understand it.  I explained to her that I had nothing to compare
to and I had no idea what 'normal' vision was so when they asked f I could
see things I said yes.  I could see them but my images were a blur and their
images were clear.  We had a communications problem and that lead to many
problems, missed opportunities and some really dangerous situations as I
attempted to 'pass' as sighted and do things like everyone else.

Torrie is so lucky to have parents who understand how limited her vision is.
the problem is that her teachers don't realize the limitations so when they
ask if she can see she says yes.  The same assumptions are being made as
when I was growing up with neither Torrie nor the teachers understanding
that the images are different.

There are two factors here the physical and the social.  Socially Torrie
wants to be like everyone else.  Don't we all?  It takes a real mature
understanding of the world to realize that each person is different in their
own way.  some people are tall, others are short, some are fat and others
skinny.  We come in all kinds of shapes sizes.  Imagine how boring the world
would be if everyone was exactly the same.    at one point in your maturing
you realize you really don't care what people think.

Torrie doesn't have to decide to be normal and sighted or different and
blind.  she can be normal and blind.  she can realize that blind people ARE
like everyone else they just don't see well.  By using the tools she is
being given she can compete and succeed but she needs to use the tools not
try and make believe she is something she is notbecause the energy that
requires takes away from her learning the skills she needs.

Since you and her NFB friends have a positive attitude towards blindness, I
wonder who is giving her the negative attitude?  If her teachers, parents
and friends are all positive about it then she would be positive too.  Some
where she is getting negative messages and that is the problem, the problems
you are seeing are only symptoms.

As ffor safety, I didn't realize how many clues I was getting from the
people I was walking with.  We lived out in the country so if we went to
town I was always with someone.  When they saw the light change we crossed
the street.  When they stepped off a curb I was there and follwed their
lead.  Right now Torrie is following.  One thing you might do is have her
lead and try and make decision of when to cross the street and don't tell
her if there are obstacles or stairs, let her bump in to them Obviously you
should let her fall down stairs but if she falls in the little puddles she
will learn to avoid the big puddles.  

Since she assumes she sees more then she does you might comment on things
that she can't see to point out the difference.  I didn't realize this until
my children were little and told me about things at a distance they saw and
I didn't see.  Don't ask her what she sees because she has nothing to
compare to.  I hate it when people do this because I can't tell them.  This
ight sound mean but set her up in situations where she would benefit from
having her cane and be there if she needs help.  Let her discover what the
cane does for her.  Leave it home and see if she starts asking to bring it. 

Torrie is going to have to realize these things on her own, you can't tell
her.  You can show her by explaining the differences in people and you can
step back and have her discover how much she needs her cane but you can't
make her see these things.

Kids will be kids and if you make them do something they resent it.  Torrie
doesn't realize how lucky she is because so many of us were told to put the
cane away by parents and family.  You are encouraging and I envy Torrie
that.  But you have to let her discover on her own.

Life isn't very demanding for a 7 year old but as life throws more and more
at her she will be glad you got her started on the right foot.

JODY