[Nfbf-l] {Disarmed} Re: [NFBF-Leaders] picking and choosing NFB policies and constitutional requirements

[Darlene Laibl-Crowe]

Well said, Toni.  Why do you think we shouldn't say 'I miss driving.'?  I
know how you feel, I miss driving, too.  And I don't have a problem
admitting it.  Losing certain activities, abilities; we all have to go
through the grieving process, just like when we lose someone we love.  

And it is a process...not something that goes away overnight.  Slowly as the
years go by, it gets easier but it doesn't go away.  I dream that I am
driving...in those dreams, I am so afraid the cops are going to catch me
without my driver's license.  I can see clearly and know where I am going.
One time, I dreamed I was driving a semi, I have never driven one in my life
but I was up above the road so high I could see for miles.  We don't lose
the ability to drive, just because we lost our eyesight or progressively
losing it.  

However, I do have to say this, I had the opportunity to continue driving
when I was first diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa but I chose not to
continue to drive because I am a very cautious person.  I had a five year
son to think about, I was a single mother, working full time...I had to ask
myself, would he be safe?  Would others on the road be safe?   Would I be
safe if I continued to drive?  I didn't want to hurt anyone and I certainly
didn't want to hurt myself.  Continuing to drive while having vision loss is
dangerous.  I didn't want to have to face myself after I had unintentionally
hurt someone because I refused to give up driving.  I don't think I could
have done that...if you have a vision problem, what happens if a child
accidentally runs out into the street chasing a ball?  Would you be able to
see if if you have peripheral field loss?  Then there are those who have
central vision loss or distorted vision and can only see a portion of the
road, is it safe to drive when in that situation?  Common sense and logic
would say 'no'; sometimes we have to let go in order to grow.  

That is my opinion.  And here is a thought, too,  I do have to admit that if
I had to choose being visual or being blind, I would choose visual.  This is
a visual world and it isn't easy to clearly understanding the visual
information that is needed when you can't see it.  Plus having hearing
problems on top of it, makes it even harder.  BUT, I choose to learn and do
all I can to help myself, advocate to find the right resources for my
specific needs and I share with others so they can grow, too.  

It is okay to say 'I don't like it", It is okay to say 'I miss driving'...,
it is what you do about your situation  that counts.

Stay strong and know that you are not alone!
(smile)
Darlene
-----Original Message-----
From: Nfbf-l [mailto:nfbf-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Toni King
Sent: Friday, May 02, 2014 8:36 AM
To: nfbf-l at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [Nfbf-l] {Disarmed} Re: [NFBF-Leaders] picking and choosing NFB
policies and constitutional requirements

Hi,
Okay I am just catching this thread so only responding to Mr. Evans
comments.
I am assuming  it was said we should not say " I miss driving"
I am a skilled well adjusted visually impaired person.  I do any thing I
want to do and tell everyone there is nothing you can not do without sight.
That being said there are still times I miss driving mostly when I am some
where and want to leave like NOW!

I miss seeing my grandson's faces.  Now these moments are fewer  and only
pop up now and then, but they do cross my mind from time to time.  
This does not mean I am not accepting my loss of sight, nor does it mean I
am still trying to live in the sighted world.

Do you not miss a love one or friend who has passed on?  If you answered yes
then why would it be so strange to state you miss something you could do
when you had sight?
We have lost a part of us so missing it from time to time is a normal and
natural feeling.

I have heard people say those who were born without sight can not miss what
they never had.  I am not sure I agree with that statement.  I know they can
grieve over not being able to drive, get their license when their friends
did. Many times their not allowed to do what their friends or siblings are
able to do.
so instead of missing  doing something they experience a longing.

The goal is to be well adjusted and to except  where we are and to learn how
to do anything we want sight or not.

I am very pleased with my life and I have a full and active one.  My moments
of missing sight happen very very rarely now but to say this never happens
or to not allow yourself  those brief moments is in my opinion not healthy.

Just my two cents worth.
Toni

--
Check out my blog
www.samobile.net/users/tkk/

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature.... Life is
either a daring adventure or nothing.
   Helen Keller, The Open Door (1957)

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger Caras


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