[blindkid] Identify yourself please

Sat Nov 22 00:40:41 UTC 2008

I'm going to add my 2-cents to all the other comments made.  I've heard all 
kinds of blind people, in ALL kinds of situations, at all kinds of 
places....and they've all handled it about the same.  It's either by asking 
the person's name, or saying, "who's this?"...or "who's that?"  It's pretty 
simple, but it takes all kinds of personalities to pick what is right for 
them.  I know I wouldn't want to have someone say "Guess who?" at all, nor 
would I like to try to figure out who was behind a door all the time.   But 
please don't scorn your child for being inquisitive enough to want to know 
exactly who that person is....whether he's familiar with that person or not. 
I've often said myself, "I'm sorry, but what is your name?" to people I 
don't know, and I'm sighted.

One issue that is totally different here is if someone is talking to your 
child through you.  At a restaurant, maybe a waiter asks you what your child 
wants, instead of asking them.  Or a teacher directly asks you about a way 
that is best for him to get around, rather than asking HIM.  That is 
something you may have to get involved with until your child is old enough 
to handle these situations best.  I know it still happens that when I'm with 
my daughter, someone will answer ME instead of answering HER.  She'll often 
respond as I've learned to just let THEM feel uncomfortable for a minute 
rather than she or I feeling awkward.  And....they eventually get it, and 
direct their questions or comments then directly to her.  And my daughter is 
a grown up woman, not a child.  So, it's never to early to start that lesson 
in having your child definitely speak up...ask who they're talking to, and 
if they're feeling ignored, make a 2nd. attempt at expressing their 
issues.....it might not change the waiters of the world, but it'll give them 
more self-esteem.

Kathy
President
POBC - AZ

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "kala hjelle" <khjelle at hotmail.com>
To: "blindkid list" <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, November 21, 2008 8:13 AM
Subject: Re: [blindkid] Identify yourself please

>
> I only have a few seconds to write, but wanted to add a question quick 
> that ties into this one...
>
> SO many people that Lily (8 years old) has met before (some only once or 
> twice) come up to her and say hi.  If she doesn't know who it is, she very 
> politely says "hi! What's your name?"  Sometimes they tell her right away, 
> but sometimes they do something that irritates me to no end and I don't 
> know how to ask them in a polite way to stop or explain to them why I 
> don't like it.
>
> People who don't know her very well think she is amazing and they love 
> that she can remember voices well.  It makes them feel good if they say 
> hi, and she knows who they are.  So if she doesn't know right away and 
> asks what their name is, they will say something like "You know me, Lily, 
> listen to my voice and try to guess..."
>
> I HATE THIS! What if every time you started talking to someone you had to 
> guess who they were?!?
> How have other people handled this one??  I need some suggestions. I have 
> said things in the past to people about it, and about not treating her 
> like she is a baby, or like she is AMAZING just because she can do the 
> simplest little things, (which feels so insulting to me becasue she can do 
> so much more that they have no idea about) etc. and about countless other 
> things, but I always get a look back like I am such a mean mom or just a 
> rude person in general.  Does this just come with the territory of being a 
> parent of a blind child?  Help please :)
>
> Sorry for the spelling and grammar errors...I have to go, but wanted to 
> quick get this in.
> kala
>
>
>> From: carrie.gilmer at gmail.com> To: blindkid at nfbnet.org> Date: Fri, 21 Nov 
>> 2008 08:45:28 -0600> Subject: [blindkid] Identify yourself please> > Hi 
>> All, Especially to our blind colleagues and friends.> > > > I have one 
>> thing with Jordan that has improved but still is an "issue". I> think it 
>> bugs me way more than him, and likely that is why it is still an> 
>> "issue".> > > > Jordan often does not ask people to identify themselves. 
>> It is one thing,> and understandable to me, when he is in the very 
>> crowded school hallways and> some voice calls out, "hey Jordan!" in a 
>> passing greeting and he simply> calls back hey-but has no idea who that 
>> hey came from and to not yell out in> a crowd "hey who are you?",> > > > 
>> But there are many times.> > At the state fair, in a store, even at a 
>> lunch room table!, where he THINKS> he is talking to one person and 
>> discovers mid-conversation that is not who> he is talking with (and never 
>> says anything or finds in the end who it was),> or we walk away from the 
>> teen working the register or who has come up in> Best Buy and said 
>> "hello" and I ask "Who was that?" and he says I have no> idea. I know 
>> that sometimes because he is one of 3,000 at school-and> because he has 
>> the one and only thing, a lot more people know who he is than> vice versa 
>> and sometimes he really doesn't know who they are, but not> uncommonly it 
>> is evident the kid who is greeting him, he should know, but he> doesn't 
>> ask. I know that sometimes he thinks it is rude, if the other kid> thinks 
>> Jordan should know who they are.the same way if I forget someone's> name 
>> and I should definitely know it, and I am thinking how can I ask> without 
>> offending?...But many times he is just too "shy" about it. I have> seen 
>> on the student list before threads where lots of kids are somewhat> 
>> uncomfortable with this one. Any strategies that you blind folks have 
>> come> up with to gain the confidence or decide when to do it? Is it just 
>> a> personality thing, because I know many blind folks who are not shy 
>> about it> and simply say, "Who are you?"> > > > Should I just let this 
>> one go now as a mom-especially since he is now a> senior in high school? 
>>  > > > > Carrie Gilmer, President> > National Organization of Parents of 
>> Blind Children> > A Division of the National Federation of the Blind> > 
>> NFB National Center: 410-659-9314> > Home Phone: 763-784-8590> > 
>> carrie.gilmer at gmail.com> > www.nfb.org/nopbc> > > > 
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