[blindkid] Identify yourself please

Mike Freeman k7uij at panix.com
Sat Nov 22 05:24:48 UTC 2008


I agree that the guessing game is rude. However, I contend that people 
play this game because they are uncomfortable around a blind person and 
can't think what else to say or do. Whatever the outcome, it doesn't 
threaten his/her (the person who wants the blind person to guess who 
s/he is) paradigm of blindness and the person is vindicated and doesnt' 
have to confront his/her prejudices regarding the blind: if the blind 
person doesn't guess correctly, he/she is deemed at the least awkward 
and at most stupid. If the blind person guesses correctly, he/she is 
deemed miraculous for having rememberd.

It strikes me that the simple answer to the "guess who I am!" gambit 
would be to ask: "Why? Haven't you figured out who you are yet?" That 
oughtta stop 'em dead in their tracks! (grin)

Mike

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "kala hjelle" <khjelle at hotmail.com>
To: "blindkid list" <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, November 21, 2008 5:17 PM
Subject: Re: [blindkid] Identify yourself please



Not sure if you are directing that at me or not, but I absolutely don't 
scorn her for being inquisitive and wanting to know who she is talking 
to-- I feel the exact opposite and think it is great that she feels 
confident enough to ask for their name... I just feel it is rude of 
people to make her guess after she has specifically asked them who they 
are.

kala
> From: kah-az at cox.net> To: blindkid at nfbnet.org> Date: Fri, 21 Nov 2008 
> 17:40:41 -0700> Subject: Re: [blindkid] Identify yourself please> > 
> I'm going to add my 2-cents to all the other comments made. I've heard 
> all > kinds of blind people, in ALL kinds of situations, at all kinds 
> of > places....and they've all handled it about the same. It's either 
> by asking > the person's name, or saying, "who's this?"...or "who's 
> that?" It's pretty > simple, but it takes all kinds of personalities 
> to pick what is right for > them. I know I wouldn't want to have 
> someone say "Guess who?" at all, nor > would I like to try to figure 
> out who was behind a door all the time. But > please don't scorn your 
> child for being inquisitive enough to want to know > exactly who that 
> person is....whether he's familiar with that person or not. > I've 
> often said myself, "I'm sorry, but what is your name?" to people I > 
> don't know, and I'm sighted.> > One issue that is totally different 
> here is if someone is talking to your > child through you. At a 
> restaurant, maybe a waiter asks you what your child > wants, instead 
> of asking them. Or a teacher directly asks you about a way > that is 
> best for him to get around, rather than asking HIM. That is > 
> something you may have to get involved with until your child is old 
> enough > to handle these situations best. I know it still happens that 
> when I'm with > my daughter, someone will answer ME instead of 
> answering HER. She'll often > respond as I've learned to just let THEM 
> feel uncomfortable for a minute > rather than she or I feeling 
> awkward. And....they eventually get it, and > direct their questions 
> or comments then directly to her. And my daughter is > a grown up 
> woman, not a child. So, it's never to early to start that lesson > in 
> having your child definitely speak up...ask who they're talking to, 
> and > if they're feeling ignored, make a 2nd. attempt at expressing 
> their > issues.....it might not change the waiters of the world, but 
> it'll give them > more self-esteem.> > Kathy> President> POBC - AZ> > 
>  > > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "kala hjelle" 
> <khjelle at hotmail.com>> To: "blindkid list" <blindkid at nfbnet.org>> 
> Sent: Friday, November 21, 2008 8:13 AM> Subject: Re: [blindkid] 
> Identify yourself please> > > >> > I only have a few seconds to write, 
> but wanted to add a question quick > > that ties into this one...> >> 
>  > SO many people that Lily (8 years old) has met before (some only 
> once or > > twice) come up to her and say hi. If she doesn't know who 
> it is, she very > > politely says "hi! What's your name?" Sometimes 
> they tell her right away, > > but sometimes they do something that 
> irritates me to no end and I don't > > know how to ask them in a 
> polite way to stop or explain to them why I > > don't like it.> >> > 
> People who don't know her very well think she is amazing and they love 
>  > > that she can remember voices well. It makes them feel good if they 
> say > > hi, and she knows who they are. So if she doesn't know right 
> away and > > asks what their name is, they will say something like 
> "You know me, Lily, > > listen to my voice and try to guess..."> >> > 
> I HATE THIS! What if every time you started talking to someone you had 
> to > > guess who they were?!?> > How have other people handled this 
> one?? I need some suggestions. I have > > said things in the past to 
> people about it, and about not treating her > > like she is a baby, or 
> like she is AMAZING just because she can do the > > simplest little 
> things, (which feels so insulting to me becasue she can do > > so much 
> more that they have no idea about) etc. and about countless other > > 
> things, but I always get a look back like I am such a mean mom or just 
> a > > rude person in general. Does this just come with the territory 
> of being a > > parent of a blind child? Help please :)> >> > Sorry for 
> the spelling and grammar errors...I have to go, but wanted to > > 
> quick get this in.> > kala> >> >> >> From: carrie.gilmer at gmail.com> 
> To: blindkid at nfbnet.org> Date: Fri, 21 Nov > >> 2008 08:45:28 -0600> 
> Subject: [blindkid] Identify yourself please> > Hi > >> All, 
> Especially to our blind colleagues and friends.> > > > I have one > >> 
> thing with Jordan that has improved but still is an "issue". I> think 
> it > >> bugs me way more than him, and likely that is why it is still 
> an> > >> "issue".> > > > Jordan often does not ask people to identify 
> themselves. > >> It is one thing,> and understandable to me, when he 
> is in the very > >> crowded school hallways and> some voice calls out, 
> "hey Jordan!" in a > >> passing greeting and he simply> calls back 
> hey-but has no idea who that > >> hey came from and to not yell out 
> in> a crowd "hey who are you?",> > > > > >> But there are many times.> 
>  > At the state fair, in a store, even at a > >> lunch room table!, 
> where he THINKS> he is talking to one person and > >> discovers 
> mid-conversation that is not who> he is talking with (and never > >> 
> says anything or finds in the end who it was),> or we walk away from 
> the > >> teen working the register or who has come up in> Best Buy and 
> said > >> "hello" and I ask "Who was that?" and he says I have no> 
> idea. I know > >> that sometimes because he is one of 3,000 at 
> school-and> because he has > >> the one and only thing, a lot more 
> people know who he is than> vice versa > >> and sometimes he really 
> doesn't know who they are, but not> uncommonly it > >> is evident the 
> kid who is greeting him, he should know, but he> doesn't > >> ask. I 
> know that sometimes he thinks it is rude, if the other kid> thinks > 
>  >> Jordan should know who they are.the same way if I forget someone's> 
> name > >> and I should definitely know it, and I am thinking how can I 
> ask> without > >> offending?...But many times he is just too "shy" 
> about it. I have> seen > >> on the student list before threads where 
> lots of kids are somewhat> > >> uncomfortable with this one. Any 
> strategies that you blind folks have > >> come> up with to gain the 
> confidence or decide when to do it? Is it just > >> a> personality 
> thing, because I know many blind folks who are not shy > >> about it> 
> and simply say, "Who are you?"> > > > Should I just let this > >> one 
> go now as a mom-especially since he is now a> senior in high school? > 
>  >> > > > > Carrie Gilmer, President> > National Organization of 
> Parents of > >> Blind Children> > A Division of the National 
> Federation of the Blind> > > >> NFB National Center: 410-659-9314> > 
> Home Phone: 763-784-8590> > > >> carrie.gilmer at gmail.com> > 
> www.nfb.org/nopbc> > > > > >> 
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