[blindkid] Dealing with selfish behavior

[Richard Holloway via blindkid]

My daughter has been working one-on-one with some of her adult teachers/specialists for as much as 9 years (9 years with the same person) and she is only 11. 

Some of our kids build rapport that sighted kids changing teachers every year and spending far less time with adults at school simply do not. That can be good and bad. 

I have seen slightly similar things happen with many kids in Montessori school where all the kids stay with each teacher for three years-- three teachers total covering 9 years, in that case. 

My daughter makes subtle sophisticated jokes with her TVI / O&M a super bright lady who also has a PhD. That's really neat, but switching from that to 5th grade humor seems to sometimes make my daughter look down on "childish" behavior.

It seem to me that all we can really do is model and groom the most appropriate relationships possible over time. This is a complicated process!

Sent from my iPhone

> On Jun 2, 2014, at 12:27 PM, Traci W via blindkid <blindkid at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Agree. I love her personality for when she is an adult, it will take her far. She is outgoing, curious, thrill seeking etc. Her personality at age 9 just pushes me over the edge!!  She is very social, she has no issues with that, she just prefers adults. I want her to make friends easier but it is a struggle with those her age. I continue the search to find a happy medium. 
> 
> Traci
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone
> 
>> On Jun 2, 2014, at 11:52 AM, Marianne Denning via blindkid <blindkid at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> 
>> I think everyone has great points but it doesn't really matter why she is
>> controlling.  Traci wants to help her daughter change her behavior.  I can't
>> control anyone's behavior but my own.  Her daughter's controlling
>> personality may just be part of who she is.  It can be a good quality wwhen
>> her daughter learns to use it in the right situations.  
>> 
>> Again, each of us, blind, sighted... have personality traits that we
>> struggle with throughout life.  They are all part of who we are.  Our
>> disability may cause us to use these traits to manage our world but that can
>> backfire on us. We try to substitute behaviors that give positive results
>> for those that cause negative results. 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blindkid [mailto:blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Richard
>> Holloway via blindkid
>> Sent: Monday, June 02, 2014 11:40 AM
>> To: Blind Kid Mailing List, (for parents of blind children)
>> Subject: Re: [blindkid] Dealing with selfish behavior
>> 
>> A number of good points have been made in this discussion. In my experience
>> with our (blind, no light perception) 11-year-old, I think Arielle makes
>> some especially accurate observations. 
>> 
>> Many of our kids spend far more time working with, and being closely
>> supervised by adults than many typically-sighted kids. Think about it- how
>> much more one-on-one instruction does your blind child get that his/her
>> sighted peers? That may help with a lot of things, but helping with
>> peer-to-peer social interaction is likely not a among them- quite the
>> contrary.