[Blindtlk] Advice for blind dads?

Tue Jun 23 03:19:55 UTC 2009

This message was so beautifully written.  Thank you for sharing.
Jessica Kostiw
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Gary Wunder" <gwunder at earthlink.net>
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>; "Missouri Parents 
Network" <missouri-parents-network at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, June 22, 2009 10:53 AM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Advice for blind dads?


> Hi Eric and congratulations.
>
> My advice is first to enjoy your children at every stage. They'll pass 
> from one stage to the next and as much as you'll love watching them grow, 
> you'll still miss the child of a month ago. My daughter Missy is 25 and 
> working in a highly responsible job after getting her college degree. I 
> love that Missy, and at the same time I miss the Missy who sat with me in 
> the rocking chair, the one who rode in front of me in a snuggly as I 
> walked her to sleep, the child who looked at me when I was saying 
> something important to her like I was an oracle. I miss the kid who, 
> learning to think on her own, realized I wasn't all wise and didn't know 
> nearly as much as she thought I did, and the child who later, as the 
> pendulum swung, again came to realize I knew a bit more than she thought I 
> did and flattered me by once again coming for advice. I miss the day we 
> went to purchase her a car and she thought her Daddy was the smartest 
> bargainer in the world, and then the drive where she asked me "How am I 
> doing Dad," and I said "I can't really supervise you right now," and she 
> said "yah, I know, but it feels like you can."
>
> So where does blindness come in? Maybe in that your child gives you an 
> opportunity to live what you say and will quickly tell you when there is a 
> difference. Your new child won't assume you can't and that he can, for the 
> reality will be that if you can't, it won't happen because your child will 
> in truth be as helpless as many others have mistakenly thought you to be.
>
> Don't let your child use her vision so much for you that she becomes 
> Daddy's indispensible little helper, but don't shy away from assigning 
> chores just because your child will use their vision. Do everything you 
> can to provide a stable loving home where your child looks to you for what 
> he needs, but don't be surprised when soon after he starts school, he 
> comes home with the idea that he needs to help you across the street, warn 
> you of steps, and starts telling you things you can't do even as you are 
> doing them. I'm not certain what the school experience is, but something 
> really pushes your children to believe you need them, not lovingly in the 
> way you do, but physically in ways you do not.
>
> Give yourself a break when things don't go like you want them to go. There 
> is a difference between a perfect family and a wonderful family. Lots of 
> us enjoy the latter and read about the former.
>
> Have fun shaping a soul, and have even more fun when you realize how much 
> shape that soul will find on her own. If ever there was an argument to 
> convince me that the sum can be grater than its parts, the development of 
> a child can do it.
>
> I'm going to post your question to our parents network in the hope folks 
> have some better advice than I'm able to give.
>
> Enjoy your new arrival.
>
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Eric Calhoun" <eric at pmpmail.com>
> To: <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 1:54 PM
> Subject: [Blindtlk] Advice for blind dads?
>
>
>> New topic on the table:
>>
>> What's the best advice you could give to a would-be father who is blind?
>>
>> Eric
>> --
>>
>> --
>>
>> Eric from Los Angeles with a tip for you!:  Want your baseball fix?  Want
>> it when you need it? Then the baseball list is just what the doctor
>> ordered!  Send a message, please, to eric at pmpmail.com, and put, "Eric, I
>> would like to join your baseball list," in the subject line.
>>
>>
>>
>> Not your average, cooky-cutter baseball list!  Major-League Baseball!
>> Minor-League Baseball!  Independent Minor-League Baseball!  It's the
>> ultimate!  It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of 
>> the
>> fight in the dog!
>>
>
>
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>
>
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>
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