[Blindtlk] Greetings; Behaviors in adults blind

Sat May 23 16:40:51 UTC 2009

Hi Gerardo, 
I am also blind as a result of RP and a clinical psychologist.  My vision
deteriorated at a different pace.  I drove a car until I was 27 and did not
require adaptive technology to read and write until I was about 40.  Now, at
61, I have little more than light perception.  When younger, I was often
embarrassed when my wife kindly noted that someone was reaching out to shake
my hand and I was not noticing.  Eventually, I learned to avoid this problem
by taking the initiative.  On occasion I reach out to discover that the
person has quickly turned their back or departed, no big deal.  I have had
no experience with the touching.  There are cultural differences in such
nonverbal behaviors.  For example, cultures vary in terms of what is
regarded as personal space.  Groups vary in terms of how close they stand to
each other when speaking, and also with regard to touching which is common
in some cultures and taboo in others.  Perhaps your blindness has led you to
exceed what is common in your culture or your parents may have felt bad for
you when they saw you reach out to touch someone and the person had
departed.  There are also a group of behaviors known as blindisms.  We all
conduct little rituals of personal hygiene when alone which we would not do
in front of others.  There is a tendency, particularly if one loses their
vision gradually to assume that others see as we do.  I am often surprised
by what others can see.  We assume that if we can't see something others can
not either.  This can lead us to embarrass ourselves by performing these
grooming rituals in public.  Recently, I have noticed that when I am walking
and thinking about a conversation which I had or will have with someone, I
am moving my lips as if I were speaking.  I am working on suppressing this
behavior as I am certain that the sighted would see it as strange.  Behavior
is so ritualized, and blindness can lead us to engage in some peculiar ones.
As professionals, in particular, we don't want to be seen as odd or
idiosyncratic.
Jeff

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Cindy Handel
Sent: Saturday, May 23, 2009 9:55 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Greetings;Behaviors in adults blind

Gerardo,

Most of the time, when I would like to shake the hand of a sighted person, I

just extend my hand and they grasp it and we shake hands.

As far as touching the arm of people, I've never done this.  When do you do 
this?  If you're talking with someone, it shouldn't be necessary, since 
they're participating in the conversation.  I think we've all experienced a 
time when we're talking to someone and learn that they walked away.  Now, if

you're referring to touching a person's arm to make sure they're still there

as a way to insure that you still have their attention, that's something 
different.  I have met sighted people who talk with their hands and touch my

arm or shoulder, for emphasis.  So, that might not be so unusual.

Cindy
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Gerardo Corripio" <gera1027 at prodigy.net.mx>
To: "Blind-Talk" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, May 22, 2009 11:35 PM
Subject: [Blindtlk] Greetings;Behaviors in adults blind

Hi listers:
I'm Gerardo from Mexico; 31 years old and a Psychologist working on my own
in my private practice.
Hopefully I'll be able to learn lots of great things from you guys,
especially of the NFB way of viewing and living with blindness.
Now for my debut question: I've been blind all my life due to RP; since I
was a teenager I remember developing a habbit of touching the arm of the
people constanly to be sure he/she was still there. I continued to do this
into adulthood until my family made the observation that this behavior isn't
seen well by the sighted only a few days ago. I'm still shocked by this
observation to the point that now how to know if the person is still there?
Yes, the voice gives feedback but when people talk it feels as if they're
there but aren't there. How have you coped with this situation in that you
have to get rid of the habbit before-mentioned? Surely it has happened to
some of you?
also when shaking hands with sighted people how to find the hand to shake if
the sighted person doesn't take the initiative?
As you can see I've still have lots of tips and tricks to learn about
blindness, thus my interest in joining the list.
Gerardo

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