[Blindtlk] Greetings; Behaviors in adults blind
dewey bradley
dewey.bradley at gmail.com
Sat May 30 06:46:38 UTC 2009
That really was good.
He couldn't talk, I didn't think anyone was there, I almost had my trey
down.
It's just like when I bump into someone, I tell them "sorry you were in my
blind spot"
Most people wont get It.
But It's funny.
----- Original Message -----
From: "trishs" <slosser at metrocast.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 10:15 AM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Greetings; Behaviors in adults blind
> That's going in the book!
>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>>From: "dewey bradley" <dewey.bradley at gmail.com
>>To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>Date sent: Tue, 26 May 2009 23:14:40 -0600
>>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Greetings; Behaviors in adults blind
>
>>It's just like yesterday, I was at taco bell.
>>I asked If anyone was sitting at the table, I got no response.
>>Well the guy had a mouth full of food, I was putting my tray down
> when he
>>said something.
>>We both got a good laugh from that one.
>
>>----- Original Message -----
>>From: "Chasity Jackson" <chasityvanda at charter.net
>>To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>Sent: Tuesday, May 26, 2009 9:29 PM
>>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Greetings; Behaviors in adults blind
>
>
>>> Oh Gary. I totally can relate there. The other day, Hadley and
> I were
>>> taking a walk around the area. We turned down a street, and
> just as we
>>> turned, someone said, "Hi," and I loudly said, "Hi," back to
> them, because
>>> I was startled. They said, "How are you?" I said, "I'm fine
> thanks, and
>>> you?" And then they went into their conversation with the person
> they were
>>> apparently on the phone with. LOL.
>
>>> Another thing that I don't know whether it has been brought up
> yet or not
>>> is this...If you're totally blind and a person silently walks
> away. And
>>> you're still talking to them. I, as a partial, have been guilty
> of doing
>>> that to totally blind friends. I will just walk to another room
> and not
>>> think much about it. LOL.
>
>>> I also wanted to comment on what Cindy mentioned, about thinking
> a person
>>> is talking to you, when in reality they are talking to someone
> in the same
>>> direction. I've had that happen several times. I might be in a
> line, and
>>> someone says, "May I help you?" And no one answers, so I just
> ask, "I'm
>>> sorry, are you talking to me?" and usually the answer is yes.
>>> Chas
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Gary Wunder" <gwunder at earthlink.net
>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>> Sent: Tuesday, May 26, 2009 8:37 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Greetings; Behaviors in adults blind
>
>
>>>> Yes, that happens to me too. Another funny thing that happens
> in that
>>>> regard is to be walking down the hallway, hear somebody talking
> a few
>>>> yards away, try intensely to figure out where the person is they
> are
>>>> talking with, and then realize they are talking on the telephone
> and
>>>> there's no one to avoid but them.
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "dewey bradley" <dewey.bradley at gmail.com
>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>> Sent: Tuesday, May 26, 2009 8:29 PM
>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Greetings; Behaviors in adults blind
>
>
>>>>> Also when someone is on the phone, and you think they are
> speaking to
>>>>> you.
>>>>> I'm shore we all get that.
>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>> From: "Cindy Handel" <cindy425 at verizon.net
>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, May 26, 2009 12:21 PM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Greetings; Behaviors in adults blind
>
>
>>>>>> Diane,
>
>>>>>> I am not a person who readily hugs or touches others. But, I
> don't
>>>>>> mind if
>>>>>> someone touches my arm or wants a hug. I think, when it comes
> to
>>>>>> someone,
>>>>>> like a waitress speaking, it would be easier if they would touch
> a
>>>>>> shoulder
>>>>>> or my hand. There have been times when someone is talking to
> me, but I
>>>>>> didn't know it, or they might have been talking to someone else,
> near
>>>>>> me,
>>>>>> and I respond. That's sometimes difficult. Most of the time,
> you can
>>>>>> tell
>>>>>> if someone is looking toward you when they're speaking. But, if
>>>>>> there's
>>>>>> someone else, in the same direction, it's hard to know,
> specifically,
>>>>>> who
>>>>>> they're looking at.
>
>>>>>> This is turning out to be a very interesting topic.
>
>>>>>> Cindy
>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>> From: "Graves, Diane" <dgraves at icrc.IN.gov
>>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, May 26, 2009 10:41 AM
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Greetings; Behaviors in adults blind
>
>
>>>>>> HI Paul,
>
>>>>>> This is an interesting topic and it also gets pretty
> complicated, at
>>>>>> least where I am concerned.
>
>>>>>> As far as your question about making that initial contact, I
> would say
>>>>>> it is very appropriate. I would most certainly prefer a light
> touch on
>>>>>> my shoulder than having someone talk to someone who is with me,
>>>>>> inquiring as to what I might like to order, as if I weren't
> there, or
>>>>>> as
>>>>>> if I were a child. I do not object to this at all.
>
>>>>>> I have noted in this discussion that there are several people
> who have
>>>>>> said they don't like to be touched. I have the opposite
> problem.
>>>>>> Whether it has anything to do with blindness or not, I really
> don't
>>>>>> know, but I am a person who is tactile, and or affectionate with
> people
>>>>>> that I know.
>
>>>>>> This is gotten me crossways with several people, as I have
> learned,
>>>>>> sometimes the hard way, that some of us don't' appreciate being
>>>>>> touched.
>
>>>>>> As a tactile person myself, that is something that I have a real
> hard
>>>>>> time fathoming or remembering. I don't grab and cling to
> strangers by
>>>>>> any means, but when there is a person who I know, like or
> associate
>>>>>> with, it is not uncommon for me to reach out and want to hug
> someone or
>>>>>> look at their hairstyle, or place a hand gently on their arm or
>>>>>> shoulder
>>>>>> when speaking to them. I also welcome warm handshakes, hugs,
> and the
>>>>>> like from those whom I consider friends and associates. I have
> had to
>>>>>> learn that some people object to this, and it isn't always easy
> to
>>>>>> remember.
>
>>>>>> Now, like I said, it gets complicated, because what I do object
> to is
>>>>>> those well meaning sighted people, many of them strangers, who
> want to
>>>>>> grab me or my clothes or coat or whatever, thinking that they
> are
>>>>>> helping to guide me or saving me from falling off a curb or
> something
>>>>>> like that.
>
>>>>>> There is a lady who does this every day at the bus stop in the
> evening,
>>>>>> and I just want to slap her sometimes. They wouldn't take
> liberties
>>>>>> with and/or manhandle a sighted person like that, and I do not
>>>>>> appreciate it either.
>
>>>>>> Diane Graves
>>>>>> Civil Rights Specialist
>>>>>> Indiana Civil Rights Commission
>>>>>> Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
>>>>>> 317-232-2647
>
>>>>>> "IT is service that measures success."
>>>>>> George Washington Carver
>
>
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>
>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org
> [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>>> On Behalf Of Weingartner, Paul
>>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, May 26, 2009 10:02 AM
>>>>>> To: NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Greetings; Behaviors in adults blind
>
>>>>>> This is an interesting topic that is very helpful because of the
>>>>>> candidness of the respondents. Because of that I would like to
> ask a
>>>>>> question.
>>>>>> Sighted people use eye contact to initiate communication.
> Obviously,
>>>>>> that does not work for initiating communication with a person
> who is
>>>>>> blind. That is why it is awkward for a waitress in a restaurant
> or for
>>>>>> a stranger in a mall to make first contact in a way to know the
> speaker
>>>>>> is addressing the person who is blind.
>>>>>> A number of totally blind friends recommend a light quick touch
> to let
>>>>>> them know they are the person being addressed, so that is what I
>>>>>> recommend. I was wondering what some or you think.
>>>>>> Also, many people who are totally blind like to hold and cling
> during a
>>>>>> conversation. That can get pretty awkward and down right
> embarrassing
>>>>>> a
>>>>>> times.
>>>>>> I would appreciate your thoughts.
>
>
>>>>>> Paul Weingartner
>>>>>> Making the Cross Accessible
>>>>>> Center for the Blind of the Assemblies of God
>>>>>> P 417.831.1964 F 417.862.5120
>>>>>> www.blind.ag.org
>>>>>> www.blindonline.ag.org
>
>
>
>
>
>
>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org
> [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>>> On Behalf Of Steve P. Deeley
>>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, May 26, 2009 7:47 AM
>>>>>> To: NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Greetings; Behaviors in adults blind
>
>>>>>> It has nothing to do with blindness in my case. I just hate
> being
>>>>>> touched.
>
>>>>>> Steve
>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>> From: "dewey bradley" <dewey.bradley at gmail.com
>>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>>> Sent: Monday, May 25, 2009 8:40 PM
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Greetings; Behaviors in adults blind
>
>
>>>>>>> Allot of sighted people think that they can't talk to us without
>>>>>> putting
>>>>>>> there hands on us.
>>>>>>> The thing is allot of people like my self really hate to be
> touched,
>>>>>> When
>>>>>>> we
>>>>>>> ask them to please take there hands off, they get mad.
>>>>>>> I guess there is no across the board answer for things like
> this.
>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>> From: "Steve P. Deeley" <stevep.deeley at insightbb.com
>>>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>> Sent: Monday, May 25, 2009 10:42 AM
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Greetings; Behaviors in adults blind
>
>
>>>>>>>> This is a very complicated topic. There are those, like me, who
>>>>>> don't
>>>>>>>> like being touched during conversations with individuals I
> really
>>>>>> don't
>>>>>>>> know very well. I'm wondering if blind individuals understand
>>>>>> spacial
>>>>>>>> concepts during conversations. You don't want to be too close
> during
>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>> conversation or too far away. I suspect most of us who
> understand
>>>>>> this
>>>>>>>> art have had some coaching from sighted individuals whom they
> trust.
>>>>>>>> \
>>>>>>>> Steve
>>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>>> From: "trishs" <slosser at metrocast.net
>>>>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>> Sent: Sunday, May 24, 2009 10:46 PM
>>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Greetings; Behaviors in adults blind
>
>
>>>>>>>>>I was raised giving and receiving warm hand shakes, or in some
>>>>>>>>> situations, embraces and or kisses, all of which seem to me to
> be
>>>>>>>>> quite germ spreading! I like the bowing idea a lot!
>
>>>>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>>>>>From: Joel Zimba <jzimba at cavtel.net
>>>>>>>>>>To: NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>>>>Date sent: Sat, 23 May 2009 17:08:35 -0400
>>>>>>>>>>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Greetings; Behaviors in adults blind
>
>>>>>>>>>>Hi,
>
>>>>>>>>>>I love these kinds of topics. I believe the issue of blind or
>>>>>>>>> sighted
>>>>>>>>>>is mostly meaningless when it comes to whether you should touch
>>>>>>>>> someone
>>>>>>>>>>or not. It comes down more to how comfortable you are with what
>>>>>>>>> you are
>>>>>>>>>>doing and your motivation for it.
>
>>>>>>>>>>The examples of folks talking with their hands is a great one.
>>>>>>>>> It's not
>>>>>>>>>>so much that they talk with their hands, but that touching is a
>>>>>>>>> means of
>>>>>>>>>>communication. In fact, if you are comfortable enough with
>>>>>>>>> yurself to
>>>>>>>>>>touch someone else while speaking to them, you'll pull them into
>>>>>>>>> your
>>>>>>>>>>paradigm. This is common wisdom in the sales world.
>
>>>>>>>>>>For the blind among us, (myself included) this is most easily
>>>>>>>>> donw with
>>>>>>>>>>the back of the hand and making solid contact.
>
>>>>>>>>>>When it comes to shaking hands, I decided to take the initiative
>>>>>>>>> early
>>>>>>>>>>and often. When someone doesn't take my hand, I leave it out
>>>>>>>>> there and
>>>>>>>>>>then eventually start snapping my fingers. This calls attention
>>>>>>>>> to the
>>>>>>>>>>fact that the other people are not playing the social game. I
>>>>>>>>> was
>>>>>>>>>>taught that it is not obligatory for women to shake hands. Long
>>>>>>>>> ago I
>>>>>>>>>>decided that if women want equal rights, they can do the glad
>>>>>>>>> handing as
>>>>>>>>>>well, so I expect them to shake and I do the snapping as well. I
>>>>>>>>>>sometimes let the elderly off the hook, though oddly, the older
>>>>>>>>> someone
>>>>>>>>>>is, the more likely they are to initiate or take my hand. Proper
>>>>>>>>>>conduct seems to not always be taught to the younger generation.
>>>>>>>>> Maybe
>>>>>>>>>>we all need to go back to finishing school.
>
>>>>>>>>>>Now, if someone could explain the bowing protocol to me so that
>>>>>>>>> my Asian
>>>>>>>>>>friends would be surprised and pleased by my manners, I would be
>>>>>>>>> very
>>>>>>>>>>greatful.
>
>>>>>>>>>>Joel
>
>>>>>>>>>>On 5/23/2009 12:40 PM, Jeffrey Schwartz wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>> Hi Gerardo,
>>>>>>>>>>> I am also blind as a result of RP and a clinical psychologist.
>>>>>>>>> My vision
>>>>>>>>>>> deteriorated at a different pace. I drove a car until I was 27
>>>>>>>>> and did not
>>>>>>>>>>> require adaptive technology to read and write until I was about
>>>>>>>>> 40. Now, at
>>>>>>>>>>> 61, I have little more than light perception. When younger, I
>>>>>>>>> was often
>>>>>>>>>>> embarrassed when my wife kindly noted that someone was reaching
>>>>>>>>> out to shake
>>>>>>>>>>> my hand and I was not noticing. Eventually, I learned to avoid
>>>>>>>>> this problem
>>>>>>>>>>> by taking the initiative. On occasion I reach out to discover
>>>>>>>>> that the
>>>>>>>>>>> person has quickly turned their back or departed, no big deal.
>>>>>>>>> I have had
>>>>>>>>>>> no experience with the touching. There are cultural differences
>>>>>>>>> in such
>>>>>>>>>>> nonverbal behaviors. For example, cultures vary in terms of
>>>>>>>>> what is
>>>>>>>>>>> regarded as personal space. Groups vary in terms of how close
>>>>>>>>> they stand to
>>>>>>>>>>> each other when speaking, and also with regard to touching which
>>>>>>>>> is common
>>>>>>>>>>> in some cultures and taboo in others. Perhaps your blindness
>>>>>>>>> has led you to
>>>>>>>>>>> exceed what is common in your culture or your parents may have
>>>>>>>>> felt bad for
>>>>>>>>>>> you when they saw you reach out to touch someone and the person
>>>>>>>>> had
>>>>>>>>>>> departed. There are also a group of behaviors known as
>>>>>>>>> blindisms. We all
>>>>>>>>>>> conduct little rituals of personal hygiene when alone which we
>>>>>>>>> would not do
>>>>>>>>>>> in front of others. There is a tendency, particularly if one
>>>>>>>>> loses their
>>>>>>>>>>> vision gradually to assume that others see as we do. I am often
>>>>>>>>> surprised
>>>>>>>>>>> by what others can see. We assume that if we can't see
>>>>>>>>> something others can
>>>>>>>>>>> not either. This can lead us to embarrass ourselves by
>>>>>>>>> performing these
>>>>>>>>>>> grooming rituals in public. Recently, I have noticed that when
>>>>>>>>> I am walking
>>>>>>>>>>> and thinking about a conversation which I had or will have with
>>>>>>>>> someone, I
>>>>>>>>>>> am moving my lips as if I were speaking. I am working on
>>>>>>>>> suppressing this
>>>>>>>>>>> behavior as I am certain that the sighted would see it as
>>>>>>>>> strange. Behavior
>>>>>>>>>>> is so ritualized, and blindness can lead us to engage in some
>>>>>>>>> peculiar ones.
>>>>>>>>>>> As professionals, in particular, we don't want to be seen as odd
>>>>>>>>> or
>>>>>>>>>>> idiosyncratic.
>>>>>>>>>>> Jeff
>
>>>>>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>>>>>>> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>>> [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>>>>>>>>>> Behalf Of Cindy Handel
>>>>>>>>>>> Sent: Saturday, May 23, 2009 9:55 AM
>>>>>>>>>>> To: NFBnet Blind Talk Mailing List
>>>>>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Greetings;Behaviors in adults blind
>
>>>>>>>>>>> Gerardo,
>
>>>>>>>>>>> Most of the time, when I would like to shake the hand of a
>>>>>>>>> sighted person, I
>
>>>>>>>>>>> just extend my hand and they grasp it and we shake hands.
>
>>>>>>>>>>> As far as touching the arm of people, I've never done this.
>>>>>>>>> When do you do
>>>>>>>>>>> this? If you're talking with someone, it shouldn't be
>>>>>>>>> necessary, since
>>>>>>>>>>> they're participating in the conversation. I think we've all
>>>>>>>>> experienced a
>>>>>>>>>>> time when we're talking to someone and learn that they walked
>>>>>>>>> away. Now, if
>
>>>>>>>>>>> you're referring to touching a person's arm to make sure they're
>>>>>>>>> still there
>
>>>>>>>>>>> as a way to insure that you still have their attention, that's
>>>>>>>>> something
>>>>>>>>>>> different. I have met sighted people who talk with their hands
>>>>>>>>> and touch my
>
>>>>>>>>>>> arm or shoulder, for emphasis. So, that might not be so
>>>>>>>>> unusual.
>
>>>>>>>>>>> Cindy
>>>>>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>>>>>> From: "Gerardo Corripio"<gera1027 at prodigy.net.mx
>>>>>>>>>>> To: "Blind-Talk"<blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>>>>> Sent: Friday, May 22, 2009 11:35 PM
>>>>>>>>>>> Subject: [Blindtlk] Greetings;Behaviors in adults blind
>
>
>>>>>>>>>>> Hi listers:
>>>>>>>>>>> I'm Gerardo from Mexico; 31 years old and a Psychologist working
>>>>>>>>> on my own
>>>>>>>>>>> in my private practice.
>>>>>>>>>>> Hopefully I'll be able to learn lots of great things from you
>>>>>>>>> guys,
>>>>>>>>>>> especially of the NFB way of viewing and living with blindness.
>>>>>>>>>>> Now for my debut question: I've been blind all my life due to
>>>>>>>>> RP; since I
>>>>>>>>>>> was a teenager I remember developing a habbit of touching the
>>>>>>>>> arm of the
>>>>>>>>>>> people constanly to be sure he/she was still there. I continued
>>>>>>>>> to do this
>>>>>>>>>>> into adulthood until my family made the observation that this
>>>>>>>>> behavior isn't
>>>>>>>>>>> seen well by the sighted only a few days ago. I'm still shocked
>>>>>>>>> by this
>>>>>>>>>>> observation to the point that now how to know if the person is
>>>>>>>>> still there?
>>>>>>>>>>> Yes, the voice gives feedback but when people talk it feels as
>>>>>>>>> if they're
>>>>>>>>>>> there but aren't there. How have you coped with this situation
>>>>>>>>> in that you
>>>>>>>>>>> have to get rid of the habbit before-mentioned? Surely it has
>>>>>>>>> happened to
>>>>>>>>>>> some of you?
>>>>>>>>>>> also when shaking hands with sighted people how to find the hand
>>>>>>>>> to shake if
>>>>>>>>>>> the sighted person doesn't take the initiative?
>>>>>>>>>>> As you can see I've still have lots of tips and tricks to learn
>>>>>>>>> about
>>>>>>>>>>> blindness, thus my interest in joining the list.
>>>>>>>>>>> Gerardo
>
>
>>>>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>>>>>> blindtlk mailing list
>>>>>>>>>>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
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>>>>>>>>>
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>>>>>>>>>>> .net
>
>
>
>>>>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>
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>
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