[Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like

hmp humbertoa5369 at netzero.net
Sun Feb 28 05:07:26 UTC 2010


Yes, I live in the United States, and I reside in the state of 
Washington.

> ----- Original Message -----
>From: "Julie J" <julielj at windstream.net
>To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>Date sent: Sat, 27 Feb 2010 07:26:27 -0600
>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like

>I'm wondering if you're in a different country than the U.S.?  
Perhaps the
>social customs are different there?

>Here, in the Midwest U.S. where I live, it is considered  
inappropriate to
>touch anyone you don't know well in any manner other than a 
handshake.  What
>you do in private, more intimate, settings is entirely up to the 
individual.
>I'm still not into face touching though. *smile*

>Also please ask away with any questions you have.  If a 
particular person
>feels a question is to personal or is uncomfortable with 
answering they
>don't have to.   Me, I'm totally comfortable with talking about 
this topic.

>Julie

>----- Original Message -----
>From: "hmp" <humbertoa5369 at netzero.net
>To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>Sent: Friday, February 26, 2010 7:18 PM
>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like


>> Hello.
>> The reason I'm saying this is because my parents, and some of my 
friends,
>> had told me about the facts about looks and everything. Perhaps 
my parents
>> are wrong? Look, I can understand all about the insides of a 
person, and
>> that they are very important to us. I trust that as well. When 
somebody
>> isn't kind or "looks" not nice in the inside, I don't look up to 
her or
>> him, and vice-versa. I too have a girlfriend and she is very 
nice. her
>> name is Samantha. We've been so loyal to each other so well. 
We've been
>> together for about three years and we're the same age. Also, we 
share a
>> lot of things in common, a funny example of this is that she was 
born
>> three days just after I was born!
>> I can see your point about feeling faces, and I think we 
shouldn't touch
>> this topic on a mailing list, but I've done that once with my 
girlfriend.
>> A trusted adult was guiding us, and we didn't have any problems. 
But
>> again, if I'm being too intimidating, I'm sorry and especially 
on a
>> mailing list.
>> Anyways, I see that it is reasonable why you say about the 
inside of a
>> person are more important than what he or she looks like, I can 
understand
>> why and how we use nonverbal communication and all about the 
subject
>> matter. I can see that.
>> Some months ago I just read a book about a woman who became 
blind and it
>> was all about her challenges and her whole story, etc. In her 
book, (it
>> was actually an autobiography) she asked the same questions I 
just asked,
>> her instructors she was working with, told her that the face 
thing is not
>> a strict rule or something and that she could do it as long as 
she is
>> respectful. But well this book's setting took place around 1969, 
and there
>> were some conns and pros about this stuff too.

>> And again, sorry if I'm saying something wrong here. Thanks for 
your
>> advice though, that is very helpful!
>> Humberto

>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>From: Ray Foret jr <rforetjr at comcast.net
>>>To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>>Date sent: Fri, 26 Feb 2010 04:17:48 -0600
>>>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like

>>>Umberto,

>>>Let me begin by dispelling the idea you seem to have in your head
>> that the looks of a person are everything.  this, I assure you, 
is not so.
>> Yes, looks are important, and, it goes without saying that you 
yourself
>> should look at least presentable.  Now, as to knowing how 
someone looks, I
>> would say to you that you should not base your decision on just 
how the
>> other person looks.  But, let's start with the question of 
facing the
>> other person.

>>> In this case, all you need really to do is to turn in the
>> direction of the person's voice; and, this will put you facing 
that other
>> person.  But, even if the other person is not speaking, you can 
usually
>> tell where they are and if you begin by saying hello, their 
answer back
>> will instantly give you all the information you really need to 
do this.

>>> As for feeling other people's faces, wow!  You really want
>> to avoid doing that for sure; that is, unless you don't mind the 
prospect
>> of getting your own face slapped.  Man, that's something right 
out of a
>> horror film from the 1930's.  The sound of the person's voice 
will tell
>> you quite a lot about that person.  In fact, I believe that a 
person's
>> voice gives away much more about that person than they ever 
realize.
>>> Otherwise, you can find out some fact about the other person
>> which you will find you have in common with them and use this as 
a
>> starting point.  Let me give you a personal example of what I 
mean.  My
>> girlfriend and I met on an e-mail list serve.  One night, I 
wrote her just
>> to say "hi", and she answered me back by pointing out that she 
noticed my
>> e-mail signature and said that she too loves to go barefooted 
all the
>> time.  Well, that was the factor we have in common which served 
as a kind
>> of jumping off point, if you will.  We just took it from there.  
While her
>> voice was not what I was hoping it would be, we were too much 
occupied
>> with the task of deciding whether or not we could have a 
relationship.
>> When we did in fact first see each other in person, we knew that 
it would
>> work.  In fact, she's on this list; and so, she may well have a 
thing or
>> two to add in this regard.  I am told, by various family members 
and other
>> friends who have seen her that she is very beautiful.  But, even 
if they
>> had not so informed me, she would still be beautiful to me; even 
if her
>> face and body were ghastly in appearance.  You see, it's what's 
on the
>> inside of a person that really matters.  That's where  you 
really want to
>> focus.
>>>Sincerely,
>>>The Constantly Barefooted Ray!!!

>>>Now a Mac user!!!

>>>e-mail:
>>>rforetjr at comcast dot net

>>>Skype:
>>>barefootedray

>>>On Feb 25, 2010, at 7:50 PM, hmp wrote:

>>>> TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

>>>>    I'm very sure everyone in this mailing list is blind. Maybe
>> some of you are not. And well, I have a curiosity, or a 
question, that
>> maybe you can answer for me and if it is not that intimidating:
>>>>    As you know, sighted people tend to look at each other's
>> face, or perhaps most of the body movements and the hands, while 
they're
>> talking to each other. For example, when somebody is talking and 
facing
>> another person, that person faces that other person, and he or 
she can
>> look at the person's face. In addition, this does not happen 
when they are
>> talking only; the person can just look at that other person, 
E.G. a boy
>> says "hello" to a girl perhaps, and he looks at her because she 
is pretty
>> (or she perhaps isn't) and he looks at her smile and he knows 
what she
>> looks like. He can maybe remember her just through all those 
details of
>> her. Furthermore, there are more case-scenarios out there that 
are very
>> similar to this one.
>>>>    While sighted people do this, as far as blind people are
>> concerned, is there any way a blind person can do the same 
things just
>> like the sighted? Can a blind person tell how someone looks like 
by some
>> technique or some information? If I want to know how someone 
looks like,
>> what can I do? Sometimes I think that probably by touching faces 
I can get
>> a general detail of what he/she is like, but some people may see 
this as
>> an offensive thing. I have just a little bit of vision (mostly 
out of the
>> corner of my right eye), but I cannot see well enough to see 
these things.
>> I can only see very close objects or people. But anyways, if, 
for example,
>> I meet a nice girl and she says hello to me, and she carries out 
a
>> conversation with me. How can I get the physical description of 
her? How
>> do I know if she is just smiling without laughing? How do I know 
what her
>> hair looks like? maybe she has a pointy nose, a big/small mouth, 
and
>> probably really all straight and white teeth! How can I know 
these things?
>> I could perhaps ask her, "What do you look like?" but I've had 
bad
>> experiences asking that question, although some people are kind 
and they
>> tell me. Again, I don't see any bad thing by touching people's 
faces,
>> however, I'm not sure if I should totally do it because of an 
offense or
>> just being disrespectful.
>>>>    I am asking this question just for curiosity, and I'd like to
>> see what you think about this. Any feedback and comments about 
this topic
>> are welcome. I'd like to find out what other blind people have 
done to
>> accomplish well this situation.

>>>> Thank you and have a very lucky day!

>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
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>> info for blindtlk:

>> 
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindtlk_nfbnet.org/rforetj
>> r%40comcast.net


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>> oa5369%40netzero.net


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%40windstream.net




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