[Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with disability vs nondisabled society

Wed Jun 2 15:44:16 UTC 2010

On 6/2/10, don nepple <dnepple at hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> hi try the nfb are you a mumber of chapter in your sstate thay can help you
> a lot thanks for the email good luck.don frum idaho.
>
> ----------------------------------------
>> Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2010 06:12:06 -0500
>> From: sunspot005 at gmail.com
>> To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>> Subject: [Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with disability vs nondisabled
>> society
>>
>> --
>> Peter
>> Webmaster
>> http://www.darkstruggle.com
>> webmaster at darkstruggle.com
>> alternative e-mail
>> sunspot005 at gmail.com
>>
>> To Blind Talk:
>>
>>
>> It's me Peter here and I would like to know what other blind people
>> out there think of this topic. I suffer from a inferiority complex
>> ever since I was a young child before knowing of my dormant vision
>> heredetary disease. It's like you know you might be good and you might
>> have heard it from others but you feel abandoned by those same people.
>> I always look at other people like what they must have had that I
>> didn't have as a child living in abdject poverty as a child. Then, I
>> point out intellectual minor flaws cause of a broken family,
>> uneducated parents, U.S overall poor educational standards and
>> differences from area to area, learning environments, and no real
>> positive role modles like having family members that have gone to
>> college. So, now I'm in college and am getting to a point of
>> quitlistening to people cause they can't understand.
>> Secondly, I measure myself through a overall scope like I am and
>> who I could have been if I were sighted like the rest of overall
>> society. When I was a child, I wanted to be a astronomer, computer
>> scientists, mathmatitian, psysist and such. Now, I look at all of the
>> wasted years like twenty-four years of only having a two year minor
>> associates degree and having changed my major three times at a major
>> four year university and pressure of picking that special major. I
>> want to have upward mobility with security without too much strings
>> attached and so much stress to pick. I often think of how to compete
>> with other undisabled furuter applicants or my degree becomes out of
>> date cause of stalls or something and am loke I screwed up. I wasted
>> government money, family money, time, energy and etc that could have
>> been spent on something better than little old me.
>> Thirdly, I blame myself for things beyond my control. Public
>> transportation, screen reader issues, paperwork, independence issues,
>> communication barriers in participation, entertainment fun and etc. If
>> I could only see to understand what others are doing I could be on the
>> same par of them. The same playng field cause I have had vision I miss
>> it even more. Does this make sense to anyone else on the list? The
>> thing is that I don't like is that nobody usually does at all cause
>> they sadly think I'm making excuses to drop out or change my major a
>> million times.
>> Fourthly, I look at the outcomes too much like the quarter of
>> gainfully employed blind people in the U.S. The often times
>> incompetent government workers from multiple sectors, inadaquate
>> research availible, unaccessible government resources, unwillingness
>> for overall society to change for universal accessability and etc is
>> appalling and hard for me. I want to change life but I can't even
>> adapt to this disappointment. Imagine going from practising driving
>> and going legally blind in the span of a few months. Couple that with
>> deep family problems and a incompetent government and you get me. Now,
>> I am becoming religious in a catholic sort of way cause it's my life.
>> Fifthly, I try out new things to constantly disappointment myself.
>> The old times is what I say like the majority of us formerly sighted
>> people think. The psychologists and others can't understand the
>> frustratiosn wheling up inside of me. The sin of anger, and envy and
>> blasophemy at times occurs cause I wish that I wasn't who I am right
>> now. Overall society is being burdened by my tremendous weight and all
>> I can do is lash out in anger. The fear of the unknown like most is
>> strong but even stronger with us blind people and especially someone
>> of my variety. Adapting a whole new prospective like playing real
>> visual games like Mortal Combat or Final Fantasy and none of this beep
>> bs you know? These visually impaired games are far too simplistic and
>> I hate to complain it's hard to measure up. Nothing is the same as it
>> once was anymore.
>> Sixthly, the feeling of alienation and osterizing myself in
>> overall society cause of the ultimate question for us blind people
>> when it comes to terms of help. Are they helping us because we are
>> human or our disability? This is a questions you often don't want to
>> ask cause you don't want to be rude but I'm putting on the table.
>> People often times forget that you can't see and you constantly must
>> educate over and over like over again about your vision. In my former
>> house, family members would leave chairs, clothes and crap where I
>> constantly ran into it even though they knew that I am blind. Another
>> thing the books on tape and othr arciac means should been gotten
>> transfered years ago and it makes you wonder about advocacy on our
>> ends here. The accessability of our currency should have happened
>> decades and anything for us takes forever. It makes me depressed
>> because the prospects of things in a sitable measurable way to the way
>> it was is like a pipe dream or somehting. Where independence, freedom,
>> respect and etc as a normal american is too far for me to reach
>> anymore. The sense of powerless gets strong man.
>> Seventh, the adaptation too religion has been tough as well like
>> the customs, traditions, respcts, manners and roles of being a
>> christian can be tough. The habits are hard to overcome especially not
>> being born into a religion can be tough. You naturally revert at times
>> of confusion or of low self-esteem to your natural state. Mine is
>> depression, anxiety, hate, envy, and all of that nice stuff.
>> Eightly, the amount of time for things like preperation has been
>> hard to deal with for these years of blindness like setting up public
>> transportation, waiting for a taxi or friends, mobility traning or
>> orientation, sighted assistance on appointments (e.g. computers) and
>> other things is tough. The amount of shear energy you guys have to
>> master like me is astounding and is a blessing/curse of being blind
>> cause we have a built up endurance but short in gas you know? Well, I
>> just worry all of the time about things I can't change. For example, I
>> often times feel like I could have been better off being born in
>> another country like in Europe, Canada, Australia or Britain or some
>> place like that where disabilities could have more of a progressive
>> aim to it. Other times I would like to move there were diversity is a
>> mainstay and the thoughts lurk in my mind like you can't do it or it's
>> visual.
>> Finally, thanks for any ideas on defeating this issue. It's gotten
>> bad so much in the past where I performed self-infliction and
>> attempted suicide. I've been put on medicine but it's pointless too
>> and counsuling is dumb. The anger management therapy and the private
>> counsuling without having a person like one in a million it's
>> worthless to me. It's like being in a cage when other people poke fun
>> at your suffering or something and no similar animals like you around.
>> People the ones that become successful ostercize themselves and have a
>> superiority arrogance complex cause at one time they had somebody help
>> them so why not try to help your fellow man? What happened to Love Thy
>> Neighbor? Seriously cause people think of generalizations of us like
>> lazy, welfare recipent, handicapped, poor, uneducated and etc. We are
>> a nation or people rather that doesn't motivate those that don't llook
>> the build of education but that in itself is misleading of the
>> american population. Anybody can have an education just need time and
>> energy and motivation but I lack in these areas myself right now. I
>> especially like multiple backgrounds from young to the old about this
>> issue and I know that I am not the only one that is out there. I'm not
>> sorry for the length either cause these words have been in me too long
>> and if I held them any longer I will burst. Thank be to God and any
>> prayers you may have about this issue with any advice as well. By the
>> way, sometimes I revert to a class structuralist prospect on
>> economics, background, life experiences, and not necessarily a victim
>> mentality just understanding more than anything is what I need. A
>> person that has walked the streets is prefered.
>>
>>
>> sincerely,
>> Peter
>>
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>> 		 	   		
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-- 
Peter
Webmaster
http://www.darkstruggle.com
webmaster at darkstruggle.com
alternative e-mail
sunspot005 at gmail.com

No, I am not but it doesn't seem like Auburn, Alabama has a presence
here anyways. It's too small and if so not enough blind people
probably. Been to the NFB site of Alabama and was moderately
impressed.