[Blindtlk] I wonder if anyone elss who is blind feels like I do

Sun Jul 3 18:24:28 UTC 2011

Hi, I would agree that while there are sighted people who do not feel as if 
they are in an equal realationship or they feel as if people concel them out 
because of a certain characterist like height, weight, facial features, etc, 
I strongly believe that blind people, especially women must work a 
thoughsand times harder to find a special someone.  Blindness is perhaps the 
most feared disability in our world and sighted people will not totally 
associate themselves with what they are afraid of.  Also, if you are as 
independent as myself, most sighted people are intimidated by that.  They 
just can't comprehend that a blind person could manage a home and take care 
of herself.  I have had a lifelong problem with dating and it's the lack 
there of.  A lot of it is my blindness but a lot of it is my Catholic faith. 
I take what the Church teaches about relationships very seriously and 
because of that, I am very picky about men.  A lot of men tend to hunger for 
a physical relationship rather than a godly relationship and we know that 
our Church discourages us from that.  So, I will cancel out the men that 
merely seek me out for physical pleasure.  There was a point in my life when 
I caved.  I could have had a man who would have bought me anything in the 
world, showered me with anything I wanted.  But his demand for his physical 
pleasure was too much.  Fortunately, God called me back to reality.  If I 
would have stayed or grew closer to him, I would have been trapped in his 
cage of manipulation.  I strayed away from my focus on God.  I cut him out 
and went to confession and the priest applauded my courage to step out of 
it.  A friend once told me that when two people find each other for the 
purpose of marriage, they found each other because when they looked at one 
another, they saw God and not just the person within.  Relationships should 
be created for the greater good of our world and not for our personal 
plesure.  I mentioned the other day that one sad reali sadness.  I sometimes 
blame it on my blindness but the reality is that it could be a lot of 
things, my personality, my shyness and not feeling like I can put myself out 
there, it could be anything.  So, I sit here each day and I try to discern. 
Really, it's not what we want in this world, it's what God wants for us in 
this world.  Would if God wants me to be single.  Would if He in his 
infinite wisdom has been teaching me things all these years and would if 
something greater is to come in my singleness.  I try to put my pain aside 
each day and pray to our Lord, saying, Lord, what is it you want of me.  I 
need to put my wants aside.  Maybe we, Dana are suppose to be single.  We 
are doing a lot of great things in our lives.  We should focus on what God 
wants us to do and not worry about what we want.  Worrying and longing for 
what we want only is brining us pain and disappointment.  And finally for 
now, I think of my blindness is just a characteristic and not something that 
will overtake my life.  If people do not embrace this characteristic about 
me as they would height, weight or hair color, than they are welcome to move 
on.  God made me the way I am for a special reason and he embraces me and 
all of my characteristics.

Charlotte ty for me is that I always wanted to get married and have 
children.  Well, I have about five to seven years left of the chance of 
bearing a child.  I have never seriously dated anyone in my life.  Partly 
it's because I'm so picky and partly it's because no man has really wanted 
to seriously date me except for the one who wanted only sex.  This reality 
has brought me great
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Ray Foret Jr" <rforetjr at att.net>
To: <gwunder at earthlink.net>; "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, July 03, 2011 1:00 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] I wonder if anyone elss who is blind feels like I do

>I would add to that only this.  With out mentioning names.  I was in a 
>relationship with someone whom I thought had everything I could ever 
>desire; uh, or so I thought.  Turned out I was wrong.  That could have and 
>does happen to sighted folks as well.  Yes, some sighted men won't date a 
>blind lady because they think she needs to be looked after.  guess what, 
>some sighted women will not date a blind guy for the same reasons.  I 
>think, to speak candidly, that perhaps you [Dana] might be over-amplifying 
>the blindness aspect of this just a little.
>
>
> Sincerely,
> The Constantly Barefooted Ray!!!
>
> Now a very proud and happy Mac user!!!
>
> Skype name:
> barefootedray
>
> Facebook:
> facebook.com/ray.foretjr.1
>
>
>
> On Jul 3, 2011, at 12:35 PM, Gary Wunder wrote:
>
>> Hi Dana. Let's move away from blindness a moment and ask how many sighted
>> folks find themselves in an equal relationship. I know many women who are
>> happy but wish their spouse treated them as a real equal. I know men who
>> don't think they are treated equally when it comes to being able to 
>> respect
>> and articulate emotion or who do not feel they are treated as an equal in
>> parenting.
>>
>> I am certain blindness complicates things in dating, but the fact so many 
>> of
>> us have managed to find our partner is a testament to the fact it can
>> happen. I am a lucky man--my spouse sees what she wants in me and 
>> therefore
>> overlooks much that makes me less appealing.
>>
>> Warmly,
>>
>> Gary
>>
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Dana
>> Sent: Saturday, July 02, 2011 11:01 PM
>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>> Subject: [Blindtlk] I wonder if anyone elss who is blind feels like I do
>>
>> I honestly get so frustrated from time to time as I have tried every 
>> dating
>> site I can think of on the internet, paid for them and most often sighted
>> guys don't give me one second glance.
>> I have a college education and work full time as well which defies a lot 
>> of
>> the statistics of the employment rate among the blind, and I can't seem 
>> to
>> either find a  blind person who is as independent as myself or a sighted
>> person who doesn't feel that blind people are in need of being taken care
>> of.
>> I surefire wish there were something we all could do in all honesty to 
>> show
>> the world that it is not a care taker we need it is an equal partner.
>> Dana
>>
>> Follo me on twitter
>> djkitty73
>> Windows live messenger ID and face book ID one in the same
>> dananolan at comcast.net If you have skype add me
>> dana030973
>>
>>
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