[Blindtlk] I wonder if anyone elss who is blind feels like I do

Sun Jul 3 18:38:59 UTC 2011

Wow!  for a self-classified "shy person", you've really said a lot here; and, to speak frankly, I admire that.  Oh, how I wish with all my heart that more people had your purspective!!!

A lot of food for thought in your message that's for sure Charlotte!!!

Sincerely,
The Constantly Barefooted Ray!!!

Now a very proud and happy Mac user!!!

Skype name:
barefootedray

Facebook:
facebook.com/ray.foretjr.1

On Jul 3, 2011, at 1:24 PM, Charlotte Czarnecki wrote:

> Hi, I would agree that while there are sighted people who do not feel as if they are in an equal realationship or they feel as if people concel them out because of a certain characterist like height, weight, facial features, etc, I strongly believe that blind people, especially women must work a thoughsand times harder to find a special someone.  Blindness is perhaps the most feared disability in our world and sighted people will not totally associate themselves with what they are afraid of.  Also, if you are as independent as myself, most sighted people are intimidated by that.  They just can't comprehend that a blind person could manage a home and take care of herself.  I have had a lifelong problem with dating and it's the lack there of.  A lot of it is my blindness but a lot of it is my Catholic faith. I take what the Church teaches about relationships very seriously and because of that, I am very picky about men.  A lot of men tend to hunger for a physical relationship rather than a godly relationship and we know that our Church discourages us from that.  So, I will cancel out the men that merely seek me out for physical pleasure.  There was a point in my life when I caved.  I could have had a man who would have bought me anything in the world, showered me with anything I wanted.  But his demand for his physical pleasure was too much.  Fortunately, God called me back to reality.  If I would have stayed or grew closer to him, I would have been trapped in his cage of manipulation.  I strayed away from my focus on God.  I cut him out and went to confession and the priest applauded my courage to step out of it.  A friend once told me that when two people find each other for the purpose of marriage, they found each other because when they looked at one another, they saw God and not just the person within.  Relationships should be created for the greater good of our world and not for our personal plesure.  I mentioned the other day that one sad reali sadness.  I sometimes blame it on my blindness but the reality is that it could be a lot of things, my personality, my shyness and not feeling like I can put myself out there, it could be anything.  So, I sit here each day and I try to discern. Really, it's not what we want in this world, it's what God wants for us in this world.  Would if God wants me to be single.  Would if He in his infinite wisdom has been teaching me things all these years and would if something greater is to come in my singleness.  I try to put my pain aside each day and pray to our Lord, saying, Lord, what is it you want of me.  I need to put my wants aside.  Maybe we, Dana are suppose to be single.  We are doing a lot of great things in our lives.  We should focus on what God wants us to do and not worry about what we want.  Worrying and longing for what we want only is brining us pain and disappointment.  And finally for now, I think of my blindness is just a characteristic and not something that will overtake my life.  If people do not embrace this characteristic about me as they would height, weight or hair color, than they are welcome to move on.  God made me the way I am for a special reason and he embraces me and all of my characteristics.
> 
> Charlotte ty for me is that I always wanted to get married and have children.  Well, I have about five to seven years left of the chance of bearing a child.  I have never seriously dated anyone in my life.  Partly it's because I'm so picky and partly it's because no man has really wanted to seriously date me except for the one who wanted only sex.  This reality has brought me great
> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Ray Foret Jr" <rforetjr at att.net>
> To: <gwunder at earthlink.net>; "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Sunday, July 03, 2011 1:00 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] I wonder if anyone elss who is blind feels like I do
> 
> 
>> I would add to that only this.  With out mentioning names.  I was in a relationship with someone whom I thought had everything I could ever desire; uh, or so I thought.  Turned out I was wrong.  That could have and does happen to sighted folks as well.  Yes, some sighted men won't date a blind lady because they think she needs to be looked after.  guess what, some sighted women will not date a blind guy for the same reasons.  I think, to speak candidly, that perhaps you [Dana] might be over-amplifying the blindness aspect of this just a little.
>> 
>> 
>> Sincerely,
>> The Constantly Barefooted Ray!!!
>> 
>> Now a very proud and happy Mac user!!!
>> 
>> Skype name:
>> barefootedray
>> 
>> Facebook:
>> facebook.com/ray.foretjr.1
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> On Jul 3, 2011, at 12:35 PM, Gary Wunder wrote:
>> 
>>> Hi Dana. Let's move away from blindness a moment and ask how many sighted
>>> folks find themselves in an equal relationship. I know many women who are
>>> happy but wish their spouse treated them as a real equal. I know men who
>>> don't think they are treated equally when it comes to being able to respect
>>> and articulate emotion or who do not feel they are treated as an equal in
>>> parenting.
>>> 
>>> I am certain blindness complicates things in dating, but the fact so many of
>>> us have managed to find our partner is a testament to the fact it can
>>> happen. I am a lucky man--my spouse sees what she wants in me and therefore
>>> overlooks much that makes me less appealing.
>>> 
>>> Warmly,
>>> 
>>> Gary
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>> Behalf Of Dana
>>> Sent: Saturday, July 02, 2011 11:01 PM
>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>>> Subject: [Blindtlk] I wonder if anyone elss who is blind feels like I do
>>> 
>>> I honestly get so frustrated from time to time as I have tried every dating
>>> site I can think of on the internet, paid for them and most often sighted
>>> guys don't give me one second glance.
>>> I have a college education and work full time as well which defies a lot of
>>> the statistics of the employment rate among the blind, and I can't seem to
>>> either find a  blind person who is as independent as myself or a sighted
>>> person who doesn't feel that blind people are in need of being taken care
>>> of.
>>> I surefire wish there were something we all could do in all honesty to show
>>> the world that it is not a care taker we need it is an equal partner.
>>> Dana
>>> 
>>> Follo me on twitter
>>> djkitty73
>>> Windows live messenger ID and face book ID one in the same
>>> dananolan at comcast.net If you have skype add me
>>> dana030973
>>> 
>>> 
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>> 
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> 
> 
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