[Blindtlk] Refusal To Use A Cane

[Ray Foret Jr]

Quite correct.  Couldn't have said it better myself.  Now, there was a time in my life, (thankfully a very brief time) when I would have said that forcing this fellow to use a cane is the only way to go; and, that I felt that I was better than everyone else simply by virtue of the fact that I attended the Louisiana Center for the blind.  Nowadays, however, I am of the view that you can at times get better results with the use of a feather rather than a hammer.  But, have the hammer ready should the need arise;  but all the while hoping you don't need it.


Sincerely,
The Constantly Barefooted Ray
Still a very proud and happy Mac and Iphone user!

On Dec 16, 2012, at 7:41 AM, "Julie J." <julielj at neb.rr.com> wrote:

> I think it's important to set boundaries.  I also think it's crucially important to separate out your problems from this gentleman's problems.  Whether or not he chooses to use a cane is his problem.  Whether or not you assist him into and out of places is your choice.
> 
> My advice would be to be very clear about what you and other chapter members are willing to do, but not to infringe on his right to make his own decisions.  I know the decision not to use a cane makes no sense at all to us.  the thing is that people make dumb decisions every day.  We've all done it, but that's how we learn.  Let this gentleman have the opportunity to learn for himself. He's an adult and has the right to learn the hard way if he chooses.
> 
> He needs to learn how to solve his own problems.  We may think the best thing for him is to use a cane, but maybe that's not his choice.  Perhaps hiring a human guide is what he feels is best or some sort of electronic gadget.  I know I would be very upset if someone told me I should use a cane over my guide dog or a human guide when I choose that option.  How we travel is a very personal decision based on a variety of factors, ability, preference, financial resources and the particular situation.  There is no way to know what all these factors are for this gentleman and I would assert that it is arrogant to think that anyone but the gentleman himself knows what's best for him.
> 
> I honestly think forcing him into using a cane through some legal means would make this situation much worse.  People don't like to be told what to do, especially not adults.  I think he will go to extremes to prove that he doesn't need a cane.  I think the better approach is to be gentle with him, not mentioning the cane at all.  Call it tough love if you like.   I think he will have to come to a place in his life where he wants to accomplish something so much that he is willing to do whatever is necessary.  The pain of not accomplishing the task will have to be greater than the discomfort of breaking down and using the cane.
> 
> JMO
> Julie
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _______________________________________________
> blindtlk mailing list
> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for blindtlk:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindtlk_nfbnet.org/rforetjr%40att.net