[Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver

Wed Dec 11 16:13:35 UTC 2013

Or, could it be a social life at their residence?

Judy

-----Original Message----- 
From: Arielle Silverman
Sent: Tuesday, December 10, 2013 8:36 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver

I'm wondering if what they are opposed to is having a social life at
all, or having a social life with other blind people? I'm guessing
maybe the friends you want to visit, who live far away, are blind?
I mention this because I too have had difficulties in the past with
members of my family not accepting my blind-friend network as a real
social network. It's much better now, but when I was in college, they
would constantly encourage me to "get out there and make friends" and
not to hang out with my blind friends too much. I think on some level
they thought my friendships with other blind people weren't mature,
real friendships.
Arielle

On 12/10/13, Linda <waterinmyroom at gmail.com> wrote:
> I do not understand this.  If adults are not supposed to have a social 
> life,
> how would one meet a potential mate?  The only men who asked me to lunch
> were the ones I met when I was out of the house living my life.  Unless a
> marriage is arranged by the parents, how else would a person get married 
> and
> have a family?
>
>> On Dec 10, 2013, at 8:14 PM, Desiree Oudinot <turtlepower17 at gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>> Hi,
>> The reason I asked that particular question is because my parents seem to
>> think that, once you become an adult, having a social life is unnecessary
>> and counterproductive. I don't want to go too far into it, because I know
>> that personal anecdotes are usually met with a lot of criticism on this
>> listserv, so let's leave it at that.
>> Thanks for your response.
>>
>>> On 12/10/2013 7:47 PM, justin williams wrote:
>>> It's actually not juvenile to desire a social life; you deserve a social
>>> life too.  That is a very normal thing and everyone performs better in
>>> school and in life when they have one.  A church would expect a certain
>>> level of involvement; probably attendance in Sunday service.
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Desiree
>>> Oudinot
>>> Sent: Tuesday, December 10, 2013 6:39 PM
>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Hiring a Driver
>>>
>>> Hi,
>>> I, too, live in a rural area of PA, so your message really resonated
>>> with
>>> me. I have some questions and concerns that perhaps you can shed some
>>> light
>>> on.
>>> I also don't get out of my house very often. There is no Paratransit
>>> service. My family is either working or, let's just say, not being
>>> supportive of me. If I wanted to go somewhere, I would have to call a
>>> cab,
>>> and we all know how expensive that can be, particularly when we're not
>>> just
>>> talking about riding down a few city blocks, but for several miles to 
>>> get
>>> to
>>> the grocery store or what have you.
>>> As for hiring a driver, I'll admit that I've never actually tried it,
>>> but
>>> because of the fact that things aren't exactly close at hand, I would
>>> think
>>> I would have to pay an arm and a leg to get any kind of services.
>>> I disagree that taking a class at a community college is as easy as
>>> you're
>>> making it sound. When I was considering taking that route, my VR
>>> counselor
>>> told me flat out that transportation could not be provided to and from
>>> the
>>> college because it was too far away. they also wouldn't pay for the
>>> classes
>>> because you have to take at least 12 credits in order for the state to
>>> fund
>>> it. Community college courses may not be terribly expensive, but for
>>> folks
>>> like Michelle and myself who live on SSI, providing our own
>>> transportation,
>>> plus paying for the class would simply not be feasible.
>>> I also have to ask this, and I'm not trying to start an argument, so
>>> please
>>> take it as a general query only. If I started calling around to local
>>> churches, wouldn't I have to be a member of their congregation before
>>> they
>>> would even think about providing rides? I consider myself to be a
>>> non-denominational Christian. I believe, but I do not want to be a part
>>> of
>>> an organized religion. I feel that I am entitled to this opinion, and
>>> that
>>> just because I'm blind, I shouldn't have to join an organization that
>>> I'll
>>> most likely be uncomfortable with just to be able to go places. I feel
>>> that's unfair both to myself and to the people who might provide
>>> transportation. They would expect a certain level of faith and
>>> involvement
>>> from me that I can't give, and I would expect them not to badger me
>>> about
>>> it. Either way you slice it, it doesn't seem right.
>>> It seems like it would cause a lot of strife and ill will.
>>> I could be wrong about this, but I wish there were other places one
>>> could
>>> reach out to that didn't have that kind of burden attached to it.
>>> Furthermore, how would payment be handled if you needed to travel a long
>>> distance? For example, many of my friends live at least an hour away. I
>>> haven't seen them in years. I wouldn't really expect someone to drive
>>> that
>>> far just to fulfill such a personal need. If I did, I would probably
>>> feel
>>> obligated to pay them as much money as a cab company would charge to go
>>> such
>>> a long distance. It's one thing if I need to go to the doctor or the
>>> store;
>>> things that adults do, in other words. But I would feel highly
>>> uncomfortable
>>> with expecting someone to chauffeur me for long distances just because I
>>> would like a social life. Is that really as juvenile as I think it is?
>>> Again, I'm asking this in all seriousness, because I don't know.
>>>
>>>
>>>> On 12/9/2013 3:19 PM, Ericka Short wrote:
>>>> I usually refrain from taking sides but as a trained social worker I
>>>> have to agree with Dave.  The rest of the world doesn't know you exist
>>>> and they won't come to you so you have to make an effort.  I was
>>>> raised in a town of just over 10,000 which was the county seat.  There
>>>> was no transit available at all.  You either waked, rode with  family
>>>> or a friend, neighbor etc. Call any faith-based organization, share
>>>> your situation and they will help you.  Perhaps the county social
>>>> services needs to hear your story so they can help.  I hope the fact
>>>> you could be the instigator of change in you community for the better
>>>> motivates you to look into things more.  This is coming from someone
>>>> so shy nobody  heard me speak in public until I was in 7th grade.
>>>> College was very liberating and I dropped the shy person I was for the
>>>> most part and found my voice.
>>>>
>>>> If it is a college class you want to take, contact the disability
>>>> services program for ideas before signing up.  This is part of their
>>>> job.  They are there to help with more than just get your books in a
>>>> special format or help you find your way around. Contact the state
>>>> services for the blind or office of the  blind. In WI the office for
>>>> the blind works strictly with adults who are either not working or are
>>>> in retirement and need help doing daily living tasks.  No matter what
>>>> state, you are not alone Michelle. There are a lots of people in WI
>>>> stuck in rural areas with nothing but 300 residents, a bar, a church
>>>> and perhaps a convenience store.  Neighbors are miles away, not just
>>>> down the street.  Just keep looking.
>>>>
>>>> Ericka J. Short
>>>> 262-697-0510
>>>>
>>>> "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Philippians
>>>> 4:13
>>>>
>>>> "No hand is too small or too big to do good in this world." EJ. Short
>>>>
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>>>>
>>>> .
>>> --
>>> Desiree
>>>
>>>
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>>>
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>>
>> --
>> Desiree
>>
>>
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>
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