[Blindtlk] blind people being loners

Sat Jan 26 04:23:45 UTC 2013

For me, I'm happy being alone for a while. My parents work a lot, but each at different times so one is usually home, but when my Mom wasn't married, she'd leave me at home alone for the day. I really loved it, the quietness of the house and having no other people around but me. I didn't do much, but I still enjoyed my time alone, doing small lunches in the microwave and things.
Devin Prater
r.d.t.prater at gmail.com

On Jan 25, 2013, at 8:40 PM, Chris Nusbaum <dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com> wrote:

> Gary, Steve, RJ and all,
> 
> 	I agree with what has been said, especially the comments made by
> Steve and Gary. Although blindness can sometimes be a factor in making
> someone lonely, it is not the only factor. If you ask around in our
> Federation or read any of the Kernel Books, you will find countless stories
> of blind people who have found themselves depressed, lonely, isolated, and
> even suicidal as they are first learning to cope with their new-found
> blindness. Since I was born totally blind, I have never really had this
> experience. However, I believe these initial feelings are completely valid
> and I'm sure that I might have shared these feelings had I lost my sight
> later in life. 
> 
> 	I think this loneliness or depression, or, as RJ put it, being a
> "loner," does not have to do with the blindness itself, but rather with how
> the effected person perceives his/her blindness and the life he/she will
> live after the reality of blindness sets in. Most of you, and indeed most of
> the members of the NFB, can probably attest to this. Are you depressed? Do
> you feel lonely or isolated? Do you feel devastated by your own blindness or
> helpless without sight? I have been a member and contributor to this list
> for almost two years now, and I believe that I am not too far off the mark
> when I say that most of you would answer "no" to these questions. Yet, you
> have been blind for a substantial part of your lives and you remain blind
> now. Some of you, like myself, have been blind all your lives; others lost
> your sight during childhood; and still others lost yours as an adult. If
> blindness makes you depressed, you all are very good at hiding it.
> 
> 	I think by now you see my point. In my opinion, if blindness is a
> factor in making a person a "loner" at all, it is not because of the loss of
> sight, but because of how a newly blind person sees himself or herself after
> blindness. This has to do, I believe, with society's misconceptions about
> blindness and the public's fear of it. It's not the newly blind person's
> fault; he/she doesn't know any better. As Dr. Jernigan has so often and so
> eloquently said, "The real problem of blindness is not the loss of eyesight,
> but the misunderstanding and lack of information which exist." So, this is
> where we in the NFB come in. These newly blind people need support, and we
> can give it to them. They need hope, and we can give that to them. They need
> reassurance, and we can definitely give that to them. I believe that this is
> some of the most important work we do in the Federation.
> 
> 	RJ, I hope this answers your question and that my response makes
> sense and doesn't offend anyone. The good news is that we, the blind members
> of the NFB, can help these "loners" realize that their blindness does not
> have to confine them to their current loneliness.
> 
> Chris
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Gary Wunder
> Sent: Friday, January 25, 2013 6:01 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners
> 
> Hello, Steve.  As usual you have written a wonderful response which reflects
> a great deal of thoughtfulness and life experience.  I don't find myself
> disagreeing with anything you say.  As much is anything I think I would like
> to see RJ say what he believes and the problems he may be having rather than
> assuming that blindness is the reason for being lonely or alone or whatever
> he meant.
> 
> I think that very often blindness in and of itself doesn't cause a problem
> but that often it can exacerbate problems that are all too common.  I think
> it is more difficult to live as an impoverished blind person than it is an
> impoverished sighted person.  I think it is harder to find good counseling
> if one is depressed and blind than if she is simply depressed.
> Transportation certainly does isolate us, and I think that where one chooses
> to live must be significantly influenced by blindness if one is not to find
> him or herself at the mercy of family and friends.  
> 
> I grew up in a town that had 216 people living in it when I was there.  It
> still has less than 1000.  When I go home to visit, it doesn't take long for
> me to realize how few options I have in going where I want to go and in
> going when I say I want to go.  I need a town with some transportation
> infrastructure.  I need enough money to be able to use that transportation.
> 
> 
> I can't tell you how many people call here who struggle with not being able
> to get an education or find a job, but they will not consider moving because
> most of the people they know live in their little town, or they already have
> equity in their house, or they would find learning a new area too much of a
> challenge.  It is hard to know how to help them.  
> 
> People who have significant medical needs are best served when they lived
> near a major hospital. This is a physical reality that won't change just
> because someone says it isn't fair that where one lives can determine the
> timeliness and effectiveness of the care they can reasonably access. I think
> the same may be true of being blind. One can live wherever he or she wants,
> but there are consequences in deciding to live or stay in a small town. I
> experience some sadness when I go home and realize the visit is over and I
> live three hours from my family, but I also know that I couldn't live
> independently in that small farming community where every trip to get
> groceries, go to the hardware store, or visit the bank is determined by the
> schedule of another. 
> 
> 
> Gary
> 
> 
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Steve
> Jacobson
> Sent: Friday, January 25, 2013 11:00 AM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners
> 
> My guess is that he probably had something in mind when he asked this
> question.  While I don't think all blind persons are loners, I definitely
> think that there are definite barriers to become a part of a group of
> sighted persons.  In my case, some of the barriers may well be of my own
> making, I won't claim otherwise, but not all of them.  I also think that
> blind kids are often forced to find their own way of entertaining themselves
> unless they are particularly lucky.  There are many variables involved in
> looking at what makes each of us what we are, and there are many dangers in
> drawing conclusions based upon one characteristic, but I think it is wrong
> to deny that blindness can sometimes isolate one even if one is not
> naturally a loner.  Transportation can by itself be a key factor in being
> isolated.  While I don't think it makes sense that being isolated is
> something that should be denied or swept under the rug, I also don't feel
> one should just sit around being isolated and feeling sorry for oneself.
> There are things that one can do about it.  Also, realizing that it simply
> happens sometimes and not getting all bent out of shape about it helps.
> Finally, I believe strongly that being comfortable with other blind people
> is not a bad thing.  I am not saying that one needs to stick to socializing
> with blind people and forget about those who are sighted, but neither should
> one feel that getting support from others who share one's characteristic is
> a bad thing.
> 
> Best regards,
> 
> Steve Jacobson
> 
> On Fri, 25 Jan 2013 01:03:15 -0600, Chasity Jackson wrote:
> 
>> I do not agree with this either.
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Gary Wunder" <gwunder at earthlink.net>
>> To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2013 4:00 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners
> 
> 
>>> Hi, RJ. I do not. Do you?
>>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of RJ 
>>> Sandefur
>>> Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2013 3:48 PM
>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>>> Subject: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners
>>> 
>>> Why do you think a lot of blind people are loners? In other words 
>>> isolated?
>>> RJ _______________________________________________
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