[Blindtlk] Blindness and Singleness

Sun Sep 8 03:29:29 UTC 2013

Good evening, Jason,

ABSOLUTELY disclose your blindness! I imagine 
you'd hate surprising some broad with that, a 
real detracter from what of your qualities you 
hope she sees, that you are  just a hopeful guy 
looking to go on a date. I am relatively sure 
other of your qualities will not shine, since 
she's so surprised and possibly disappointed by 
your blindness. You Sounds like you want, should 
I be reading your message, you hope the girl uses 
your other qualtities to know whether she wants 
to date you. Just my penny! 07:32 PM 9/7/2013, Jason Terryn wrote:
>Hello,
>
>Thanks so much for the input, everyone. A couple things

>
>Mike, it might be true that I’m not entirely comfortable with myself as a
>blind person yet. It’s true I haven’t been blind all my life, though surely
>long enough to be comfortable and confident in my own skin, I’d hoped.
>However, the reason I mention it so many times in my email was because my
>questions specifically pertained to that. I’ve definitely looked into other
>aspects of my life and personality that might be off-putting to women at
>other times.
>
> From my own experiences I’d tend to agree with those who said that sighted
>people who accept us are few and far between. The overwhelming majority of
>people I meet feel awkward around a blind person. It’s probably only that
>they’ve never or rarely interacted with blind people or the ones they have
>haven’t been stellar examples. I just wish more of them would allow
>themselves the opportunity to be reeducated.
>
>I think a lot of girls have such an instinct to be “politically correct”
>that they feel like they can’t cite blindness as a reason for rejection. So
>a lot of times I never even have the opportunity to address their concerns
>about it. I try my best to present myself as confident, self-sufficient,
>and as a provider rather than someone to be cared for, but all these things
>take time to establish which no one seems interested in giving me.
>
>Arielle and Bob, thanks a lot for the detailed advice. And congratulations,
>Arielle! It’s encouraging to hear of other people who have come up against
>the same hurdles, persevered, and are now happily in a relationship.
>
>It’s true that I’ve only pursued and dated sighted women. I haven’t tried
>the online route and so I’ve been limited to my own community of which I’m
>the only blind person. I think you’re right that dating blind women could
>provide good practice and help me build confidence. To be honest, I’ve felt
>a little trepidation in trying to meet women online but it might be helpful
>to give it a try. Also, if I did try that, do you think its  fair ot to
>disclose the fact that I’m blind? It’s true that keeping back that
>information might give me a chance to  display my other qualities without
>being automatically ruled out, but I’m also afraid that it would make it
>only that much more hurtful if I still ultimately ended up rejected. I may
>give eharmony or a Christian dating site a chance, though.
>
>Thanks again for all the useful advice!
>
>Jason
>
>
>On Sat, Sep 7, 2013 at 4:43 PM, Mike Freeman <k7uij at panix.com> wrote:
>
> > You're giving up too soon.
> >
> > Mike
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jason
> > Terryn
> > Sent: Saturday, September 07, 2013 1:22 PM
> > To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> > Subject: [Blindtlk] Blindness and Singleness
> >
> > Hello everyone,
> >
> > I am desperately in need of some advice. I am a totally blind Christian man
> > in my early twenties and I am single. It's been my experience that it's
> > extremely difficult for me to get dates. The few girls who do go out with
> > me never turn out to be serious about me. After several years of being
> > summarily rejected time without number and spending countless exhausting
> > hours overthinking my approach, I'm beginning to wonder if it is actually
> > something I'm doing (should I change my approach) or if its just a fact of
> > being blind and I need to accept it gracefully.
> >
> > Has anyone else had this experience. I'm honestly unsure if I'm being
> > rejected because I am blind, or because there is something undesirable
> > about me. Could it be that blindness isa dealbreaker for most girls?
> >
> > I feel like, despite my blindness I have a lot to offer. I am steady,
> > reliable, I have a job, I am tall and physically fit, I have a lot of
> > different skills and interests. On the whole, I feel that I'm a fairly
> > well-rounded individual and reasonably well-intergrated in society. Also
> > it's not like I'm trying to get the most beautiful or desirable girls out
> > there. I just want ONE nice, pleasant girl who will like and accept me that
> > I can spend time with, and ultimately someone to marry. I don't feel like
> > thats asking too much.
> >
> > so if it is my blindness that is scaring girls off is there anything at all
> > that I could do to offset this reaction? Could it be that I'm not
> > presenting myself as confident enough or that they have some false
> > stereotypes in their mind that I need to overcome? Am I just giving up too
> > soon or is this really an almost hopeless situation?
> >
> > This has all been extremely frustrating to me. Any advice would be greatly
> > appreciated.
> >
> > Thanks!
> >
> > Jason
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