[Blindtlk] Questions About Sportswriting/journalism and not giving up on career goal/dreams

[Prows, Bennett (HHS/OCR)]

Hi Kerri,

You have a lot of questions there, and probably could write for hours on how frustrated, angry, doubting, etc, you are. But as we say in the National Federation of the Blind, your blindness doesn't hold you back. Live the life you want. 

I am not a journalist, nor do I have the desire to be one. But, I have a career, went to law school in the day when people didn't think much of the capabilities of blind law students, and employers wouldn't hire newly licensed blind attorneys. I found that to get a job I went to work for the Federal government, and enjoy it to this day. Of course there have been mistakes, failures, problems likely caused by myh own self doubt, or lack of confidence in what I was doing. It made me question my worth, and who I was. But when those things happen, I internally talk with myself and ask honest, hard questions about what I really want, and then try to figure out how things can be done that I quite naturally have blamed on being blind, when in fact, it's because I or others haven't figured out how to do what I wanted to do. You have taken the first important step by writing this post. There will likely be many ideas in responses to your questions.   

But on to sports journalism. I love sports, listen intently to both television and radio broadcast descriptions of plays and learn what the players, etc, are doing though the verbal descriptions. It sounds like that's the way you do it as well. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean that you don't understand the various aspects of what is happening on the field or in the arena. In fact, there is (or has been) a color commentator for the Spanish broadcast of the Tampa Bay Rays baseball team who is blind. He listens to the play by play announcer, gets information from off air personnel in the broadcast booth, and comments on the plays on the field to compliment the action. As I understand it, in at least one game, he had to do the play by play, to fill in for the ill announcer. According to the story I read, he did it by listening to the English broadcasters, and supplemented his information with others in the booth. He provided the dramatics. 

That may not be quite the journalism you want to do, but if I were you, I'd seek out some of these blind professionals, and interview them on the how to tips and tricks, etc. You stay motivated for your dream when you take this kind of action. 

Since I'm not on the journalism list, I'm responding on this one. Hope you get more responses. Be well, and keep on keeping on.

/s/

Bennett Prows 


-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Kerri Kosten via blindtlk
Sent: Friday, October 17, 2014 1:51 AM
To: Blind Professional Journalists List; Blind Talk Mailing List; National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: [Blindtlk] Questions About Sportswriting/journalism and not giving up on career goal/dreams

Hi Everyone:

For those of you who are either journalists or are wanting to pursue a career that is visual/not blindness related how do you stay motivated and keep from giving up when things get hard or don't go your way?
Since I was 15 years old, I have wanted to do something in sports media/sports journalism.
Nobody has actually told me I can not do it, I even am lucky and have a page on a local stations website where I can write about sports (I'll post the link at the end of this message.) But, I listen to a ton of sports talk radio. I understand the hosts are sighted, and it's a sighted world, but I am beginning to realize how visual sports journalism may be.
I am noticing that when I listen to sports talk radio and they talk about say watching parts of a game I can't see, or they say to go and watch a press conference and watch how the coach looks around or something like that I become really depressed and feel I can't do sportswriting or something in sports media as a career and that really upsets me.
I also notice that a lot of times radio stations will sort of groom certain interns and such so when they graduate from college they get a job. I notice I get really jealous and upset when this happens and it makes me so upset I give up.
I am trying to be better at writing less details, so it's a long story but I tried going back to school last semester as a journalism major and I thought I did pretty well and thought I had tried hard and then when my grades came back I failed out for the second time and can't go back to this school for a year. It really really hurt myself-esteem and still hurts today.
Again, another long story, but about six years ago (before I joined the NFB or went to training) I was doing a bunch of writing for the radio station and got to answer the phones for an hour-long popular sports talk show here. There were a bunch of problems that came up though and I gave up and just stopped going in.
I have since made amends and went to training and still have a page on the website to write sports on, but I still am really upset about my mistakes and even today it is really hard and almost impossible for me to listen to that talk show knowing I used to answer the phones and be connected to it and now I am basically nobody.
I was even in school back then as well, and I got to meet a bunch of the journalism professors and one time there was a sports journalism week and I got to go up and meet all the speakers. Now, I have failed out of school twice and the professor that really liked me, invited me to all the things unfortunately passed away. Even at the journalism school now I am nobody. The dean is still there, but the professors wouldn't know me if I walked in and used my cane perfectly.
When you have made so many mistakes in your past, and failed so many times, how do you go on and not give up? How do you listen to something and not think about your mistakes?
I have another question that often brings me down and makes me question myself.
I do not have any media credentials or passes or anything like that.
Before I begin to write a story I often look at a couple of stories already written to sort of use as a guide to get either the stats from the games or quotes the coaches ssay at their post-game press conferences since I don't have any actual media credentials amd am not actually there.
With the internet being what it is today, is this okay?
There have never been any problems and my stories are worded completely differently (I never copy and paste, just get information) but deep down I feel guilty.
I write something, and I want so much to be proud of it but I feel I can't be and that brings me down and makes me want to give up.
I guess I just feel frustrated because when I say I don't know what I want to do with my life, everyone always asks me "What is your passion?" I could lie, but my passion is sports. I know it well, I have a sort of photographic memory where I can read a stat or something and memorize it, there is nothing else I know better.
Everyone has always agreed sports writing/media is a great fit for me, but I just constantly question myself, am unsure, constantly worry I won't be able to get a job, I want to feel good about my writing but deep down I feel guilty, and I often question with sports being such a visual thing whether it is really possible. As I said previously, I also struggle with jealousy when I see others being groomed for jobs and getting paid and I'm not. I also feel sad and can't even listen to this talk show because I feel so sad about my past mistakes and my failing out of school twice and now I am nobody where I was so connected before.
But, at the same time, when people ask me what my passion is, or I think about it, there is no question: it is sports. I don't know what to say.
It makes me angry that I constantly question myself so much but yet a sighted person who loves sports can decide in high school they want to go into sports journalism, and they attend college, get good grades and don't fail out, make the right connections along the way, meet the right people, get a couple of good internships in, and then when they graduate often land jobs.
How do you all keep from constantly questioning yourselves and giving up?
What do you use to stay motivated?
How do you keep from feeling sad about your past mistakes when you are reminded of them by listening to local radio?
How do you keep from totally feeling defeated and giving up when you listen to a sports talk radio show and they talk about a particular game or story so visually?
Here is the link to my sports page.
http://www.wajr.com/common/page.php?pt=sports_news&id=96
Thanks,
Kerri

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