[BlindTlk] vent

Tue Nov 17 00:17:45 UTC 2020

Hi, again,

You need to do you.

You are an intelligent young adult who needs a life of her own, so you need
to decide how you are going to become independent.

At this point, I would again talk with Mary Ellen Gabias about best ways and
resources to help you get out on your own.  Whether you need schooling, or
daily living training, or a job, she can refer you to the right resources.

Also a VR counselor can help you figure out how to get where you want to go.

Judy

Judy

-----Original Message-----
From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison Martin via
BlindTlk
Sent: Monday, November 16, 2020 3:55 PM
To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
Subject: [BlindTlk] vent

Hi all,
Please just ignore my last message, I left some stuff out. I think Mom is
depressed, she spends most of the day in her room on her phone watching TV.
She's always so negative, I think she's sick and tired of being sick and
tired.
I think we all need to go to a therapist, but I know she wouldn't go or
talk, she'd say that we have the problem. There have been times where I've
thought about moving out with Dad, but I don't think she'd survive without
us. She's the one who should leave the house, she doesn't like the house and
doesn't spend
much time down hear with us anyway.   I'm still struggling with the incident
with the lady back in March, I've tried apologizing and explaining my
reasoning for writing the post, but I feel like she's not listening to me
and that I deserve a second chance. I think I'm going to have to get Dad
involved and have him talk to her. It makes me sad just thinking about it.
Makayla's biggest issue is that her and Mom are too much a like, so they're
always at each other and she thinks that Mom is always mad at her when she
isn't. Dad takes anti-depressant meds, but I think he watches and reads way
too much news. I also think he drinks way too much coffie and alcohol, and
he also needs to lose weight. Makayla also likes to nag me about stuff that
Mom and Dad don't bug me about, I already have two parents I don't want or
need a third. I'm an adult so I think I should be allowed to make my own
decisions and not get told what to do. Mom also loves to be in control all
the time which is very annoying. None of us are very good at talking about
and sharing our feelings, if we were a normal family then we could talk
about this stuff, but we aren't. I know that a therapist can't necessarily
solve our problems, but hopefully they could give us ways to cope. Mom is
the one that needs the most help, but we know that she wouldn't go or talk.

I don't know that Mom would ever join us, and I don't know if Makayla even
wants to go. I'd consider it, but only if we found the right therapist.
There are many I'm sure, but they're not all the same. I'd love to move out,
but I don't think I want to live by myself. I used to think that Dad and I
should go live together, but now I'm not so sure. I already told you about
his issues, and he also nags me about stuff mainly personal hygiene stuff,
mainly showiering. I don't go anywhere so I really don't care how I look or
if I smell. Plus the less we shower the less water we use, and the less
product we have to buy. As an adult, should I not be allowed to make my own
decsions even when it comes to personal hygiene? Sometimes I feel like I'm
treated more like a kid then the adult that I am and should be allowed to
be. Makayla would probably just yell at me, she wouldn't actually teach me
how to do something. She quite often just says "If you want something then
why not just learn to do it yourself." She also bugs me about stuff and
tells me what to do too. She's also gotten really bad at just taking things
without asking, mainly food. Sometimes someone buys something for themselves
or for someone else (that's not her), but she just sees things and assumes
she can eat or use them, when she can't always. If she'd just ask then
chances are she could eat some of or use some of whatever it is, but she
doesn't. Dad does this too, not as much though. We made fudge a few months
ago, and she ate a few pieces without asking. It had to be kept in the
fridge so Mom would cut up a few pieces and put them out to warm up a bit.
Now if we make it again she's not allowed to have any because she didn't ask
the first time, she blew it. What's fair is fair. Plus the last few times
she's made stuff she hasn't asked me if I'd like any, not that I would
unless it's plain. It's just annoying when Mom or Dad buys me something and
then I don't really get any because she's eaten it. Dad says I'm going to
have to start hiding stuff in my room, which would be weird, if it gets to
that then I think we have a real problem on our hands. Plus she's good at
noticing/finding things that Mom has tried to hide, in particular chocolate.
Mom isn't always good at sharing either, but I just ask and if she says no
then I don't touch it. We might have to start putting our names on things,
which Makayla did yesterday, when she got this macaronie dinner from Sobeys,
which I didn't get. If she wants her own then that's fine, but I like them
too, so I should've gotten one too. I've learned that if someone gets
something for me, whether it's a dinner or snack stuff I have to eat it
right away or else there might not be any/one left when I really want
it/some.  She yells at me when we're doing dishes because apparently I don't
dry them right. Now I just wait for her to finish washing and then I dry.
I've tried talking to Mom, but that didn't really work/help. She thought
that I was talking about some particular time or decision that I want to
make, but I was just talking about in general. I still collect animal
figurenes, and she has this weird thing that if it's too close to my
birthday or Christmas then I can't buy anything, even though when I'm
looking at stuff it usually over a month until either event. I do it because
I worry that she won't like the look of the figurine that I'm asking for so
she won't buy it for me, regardless of how much I want it. Like last
Christmas I asked for this particular husky, well she didn't buy it for me
because she said that she didn't like it's face, it was too pointy, but the
2 that she got me looked way more like wolves then huskies. It's my money,
should I not be allowed to spend it when and how I want?
Any thoughts/suggestions? Like I said, I just really needed to vent, so if
no one answers then that's fine. Thanks for letting me do it anyway.
Madison   

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