[BlindTlk] frustrating home situation

Wed Nov 18 20:40:18 UTC 2020

This is true, everyone needs to be very careful with what they share.
Although some of it has been interesting, I think this topic is pretty much
exhausted anyway.

-----Original Message-----
From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of David Andrews via
BlindTlk
Sent: Wednesday, November 18, 2020 2:53 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Cc: David Andrews <dandrews920 at comcast.net>
Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation

I understand your need to vent, but this list is publicly archived, so
anyone can find it, using internet search.

Dave

At 05:00 PM 11/16/2020, you wrote:
>Hi all,
>Hope this is okay to talk about hear, I just really need to vent.
>I forgot to say that Dad and I went out for super on Saturday to get 
>away from the craziness. Plus I don't eat pizza. Makayla's biggest 
>issue is that her and Mom are too much a like, so they're always at 
>each other and she thinks that Mom is always mad at her when she isn't. 
>Dad takes anti-depressant meds, but I think he watches and reads way 
>too much news. I also think he drinks way too much coffie and alcohol, 
>and he also needs to lose weight. Makayla also likes to nag me about 
>stuff that Mom and Dad don't bug me about, I already have two parents I 
>don't want or need a third. I'm an adult so I think I should be allowed 
>to make my own decisions and not get told what to do. Mom also loves to 
>be in control all the time which is very annoying. None of us are very 
>good at talking about and sharing our feelings, if we were a normal 
>family then we could talk about this stuff, but we aren't. I know that 
>a therapist can't necessarily solve our problems, but hopefully they 
>could give us ways to cope. Mom is the one that needs the most help, 
>but we know that she wouldn't go or talk.
>I don't know that Mom would ever join us, and I don't know if Makayla 
>even wants to go. I'd consider it, but only if we found the right 
>therapist.
>There are many
>I'm sure, but they're not all the same. I'd love to move out, but I 
>don't think I want to live by myself. I used to think that Dad and I 
>should go live together, but now I'm not so sure. I already told you 
>about his issues, and he also nags me about stuff mainly personal 
>hygiene stuff, mainly showiering. I don't go anywhere so I really don't 
>care how I look or if I smell.
>Plus the less
>we shower the less water we use, and the less product we have to buy. 
>As an adult, should I not be allowed to make my own decsions even when 
>it comes to personal hygiene? Sometimes I feel like I'm treated more 
>like a kid then the adult that I am and should be allowed to be. 
>Makayla would probably just yell at me, she wouldn't actually teach me 
>how to do something. She quite often just says "If you want something 
>then why not just learn to do it yourself." She also bugs me about 
>stuff and tells me what to do too. She's also gotten really bad at just 
>taking things without asking, mainly food. Sometimes someone buys 
>something for themselves or for someone else (that's not her), but she 
>just sees things and assumes she can eat or use them, when she can't 
>always. If she'd just ask then chances are she could eat some of or use 
>some of whatever it is, but she doesn't. Dad does this too, not as much 
>though. We made fudge a few months ago, and she ate a few pieces 
>without asking. It had to be kept in the fridge so Mom would cut up a 
>few pieces and put them out to warm up a bit. Now if we make it again 
>she's not allowed to have any because she didn't ask the first time, 
>she blew it. What's fair is fair. Plus the last few times she's made 
>stuff she hasn't asked me if I'd like any, not that I would unless it's 
>plain. It's just annoying when Mom or Dad buys me something and then I 
>don't really get any because she's eaten it. Dad says I'm going to have 
>to start hiding stuff in my room, which would be weird, if it gets to 
>that then I think we have a real problem on our hands. Plus she's good 
>at noticing/finding things that Mom has tried to hide, in particular 
>chocolate. Mom isn't always good at sharing either, but I just ask and 
>if she says no then I don't touch it. We might have to start putting 
>our names on things, which Makayla did yesterday, when she got this 
>macaronie dinner from Sobeys, which I didn't get. If she wants her own 
>then that's fine, but I like them too, so I should've gotten one too. 
>I've learned that if someone gets something for me, whether it's a 
>dinner or snack stuff I have to eat it right away or else there might 
>not be any/one left when I really want it/some.  She yells at me when 
>we're doing dishes because apparently I don't dry them right. Now I 
>just wait for her to finish washing and then I dry.
>I've tried talking to Mom, but that didn't really work/help. She 
>thought that I was talking about some particular time or decision that 
>I want to make, but I was just talking about in general. I still 
>collect animal figurenes, and she has this weird thing that if it's too 
>close to my birthday or Christmas then I can't buy anything, even 
>though when I'm looking at stuff it usually over a month until either 
>event. I do it because I worry that she won't like the look of the 
>figurine that I'm asking for so she won't buy it for me, regardless of 
>how much I want it. Like last Christmas I asked for this particular 
>husky, well she didn't buy it for me because she said that she didn't 
>like it's face, it was too pointy, but the 2 that she got me looked way 
>more like wolves then huskies. It's my money, should I not be allowed 
>to spend it when and how I want?
>Any thoughts/suggestions? Like I said, I just really needed to vent, so 
>if no one answers then that's fine. Thanks for letting me do it anyway.
>Madison

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