[Blindvet-talk] Humor Posted to Craig's List Personals

[MisterAdvocate at aol.com]

Posted to Craig's List  Personals

To the Guy Who  Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. 

I was  the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand 
over,  shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also  
asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.

I hope you  somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I 
didn't  expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took  
my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that  evening, and 
it wasn't that cold outside.

You see, my  girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP 
pistol  for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it  
that evening. Beautiful pistol, he? Oh, some of us honky white  folk do have 
a CCW license.

It's a very intimidating  weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I 
know it probably wasn't  a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd 
come from with that  brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was 
even worse  since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and 
wallet  with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come  
help you try to mug us again.

I took the liberty of calling  your mother, or "Momma" as you had her 
listed in your cell, and  explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself 
and forty other  people in the gas station this morning a tank full of gas 
on your  credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and 
was  extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over  
by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet.  

I threw your wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile"  parked at the curb after 
I broke the windshield and side window out  and keyed the driver’s side.  I 
called a bunch of phone sex  numbers from your cell phone. They'll be on 
your bill in case you'd  like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down the 
line, and I've  only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't 
know what's  going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your  
service. 

I could only get in two threatening phone calls to  the DA's office and one 
to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really  pissed and we had a long chat 
(I guess while he traced the  number).  

I'd also like to apologize for not killing you  and instead making you walk 
back home humiliated. I'm hoping that  you'll reconsider your choice of 
path in life. Next time you might not  be so lucky...

- Alex 

P.S. Remember this  motto......  An armed society is a polite society!  




 (http://www.incredimail.com/index.asp?id=109094&rui=68718735) 


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