[blparent] Seeking parents who are blind and who adopted

Sun Aug 30 14:48:26 UTC 2009

Sherry,

My wife and I are both blind and have adopted two children from Korea but it was some thirteen years ago.  Yet, I very 
much identify with the feelings you express.  In our case, we did not seek out children with "special needs," but the road 
to adopt children who have some vision loss was definitely an easier one.  Both of our kids have some vision loss with 
one being legally blind and the other not.  If either partner of a couple who are adopting have some vision, the process 
seems to go very much smoother whether you are talking about China or even here in the United states.  If you have a 
good relationship with your church and your church has an adoption program, that could be a good route to investigate.

The fact is that most people just don't know how we live as blind adults and can't imagine it.  The fact that they may be 
educated with degrees in social work and/or psychology as is often the case with adoption workers doesn't seem to 
matter at all.  However, there are those out there who are willing to learn, and the only choice we have is to approach 
them assuming that we can educate them as to how blind adults live and how we parent.  This means you'll go through 
a lot that other couples don't go through, and you'll have to explain a lot and handle more assumptions that you can't do 
it than most.  You'll need to call upon a lot of patience.  This isn't meant to say that the situation is fair, but it is what it is.  

If you decide that you are willing to seek out kids with vision loss or have other special needs, be sure to research 
carefully the special needs involved.  In countries where medical care is more advanced, it is less likely, for example, 
that a child is only blind, rather blindness is more likely a secondary condition related to something else that might be 
more significant.  In countries that have less advanced medical care, there could be an explainable reason for the 
blindness and a chance that blindness is the only disability, but it is also possible that there will not be a medical history 
at all.  Be sure you know what you feel you can handle in terms of kids with special needs if you travel that route.  They 
all need homes, but they need to be in homes that will be supportive both emotionally and financially.  By "financially," I 
am referring to the cost of unknown on-going medical conditions.

Unfortunately, the landscape has change a lot even since we adopted, so our specific experiences are probably of little 
value now.  However, from all I have read and heard, our general experiences are still relevant.  Good luck.  If you are 
persistent, you will likely succeed.  Be patient, stay calm, and stay focused.

Best regards,

Steve Jacobson

On Sat, 29 Aug 2009 22:45:05 -0400, Sherry DeFrancesco wrote:

>Hi Barbara,
>Thank you for your response. Unfortunately, since the Hague Convention, 
>Guatamala and Vietnam are currently not in agreement with the U.S. and 
>adoptions are not permitted at this time. Guatamala does not meet the Hague 
>requirements, and I am not entirely certain why there are restrictions with 
>Vietnam. It is all politics and bureaucracy as compared to years ago. Korea 
>is slowly dwindling down in terms of adoption to U.S. citizens, or any 
>country except for their own; and are  expected to stop all adoption by 
>2012. So, we have explored these options already. We are now looking further 
>into Ukraine. Perhaps, this will go well. There are no "restrictions" in 
>their laws that restrict parents who are blind, but this could be because 
>they do not believe that blind people would even apply :(
>We shall see. It has been very difficult finding adoptive parents who are 
>blind; apparently there are not that many, or perhaps there are and I just 
>cannot find them...
>China asked questions like "how much can they see?" Does one of them see?" 
>"Well, if one of them out of the two has vision in at least one eye, then we 
>will accept them"

>This journey to adoption, for us, has been a nightmare, however, an 
>incredible learning experience. There will be a light at the end of this 
>tunnel--it is not in our nature to give up easily, or at all :)

>Again, thank you for your response and suggestions :)
>Best wishes, Sherry

> ----- Original Message ----- 
>From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
>To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>Sent: Saturday, August 29, 2009 9:47 PM
>Subject: Re: [blparent] Seeking parents who are blind and who adopted

>> Have you tried Guatemala?  That seems to be a popular one with the 
>> adoption agency we went through.  Granted, all the ones I know are sighted 
>> but I'm sure they can't be a country without a blind person.  What about 
>> Korea or Vietnam, also?  Those are the only countries I can think of off 
>> the bat. Mine are from China.  We got them a year before the requirements 
>> changed.
>> Barbara
>>
>> If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:  of whom 
>> you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.
>>
>> --------------------------------------------------
>> From: "Sherry DeFrancesco" <sdefrancesco at optonline.net>
>> Sent: Saturday, August 29, 2009 3:43 PM
>> To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: [blparent] Seeking parents who are blind and who adopted
>>
>>> Dear Blind Parent Listers,
>>>
>>> We are a married couple that is totally blind, and have been trying to 
>>> adopt a child that is blind or visually impaired for the past two years. 
>>> It has been a long and exhausting journey due to misconceptions and false 
>>> beliefs about the abilities of parents who are blind. We have a New York 
>>> state Foster Parent License, and a completed home study for international 
>>> adoption. We have tried the New York foster care system, as well as 
>>> International adoption agencies. New York state did not locate a child 
>>> that is blind or vision impaired in the NY state foster care system, and 
>>> we have been turned down by China, India and Russia. There are thousands 
>>> of blind and vision impaired children out there all over the world who 
>>> need loving homes including right here in the United States. If anyone 
>>> out there has any information where we can find blind or vision impaired 
>>> children in the U.S. in need of a forever family, or successfully adopted 
>>> a child either domestically or internationally, and can lend some 
>>> advice/guidance and/or resources to locate the support and understanding 
>>> that we will need to complete a successful adoption, please contact me 
>>> privately if you are willing at:
>>> sdefrancesco at optonline.net
>>>
>>> I am also willing to discuss on the list if appropriate, however, a 
>>> private conversation may be more appropriate-either way is fine with me.
>>>
>>> Thank you.
>>>
>>> Best wishes ~ Sherry DeFrancesco
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>>
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