[blparent] Working outside or in the home
sharon howerton
shrnhow at att.net
Wed Feb 11 14:23:48 UTC 2009
Jennifer, having worked for the state (Illinois) when my sons were born, you
don't get a lot of opportunity for flexibility when it comes to hours and
all including the possibility of part-time. They let me do that one summer,
and it was really hard. I don't know how available daycare homes are down
there, but that was something I did with mine and appreciated a great deal.
The comment that someone made about your husband being the sole breadwinner
is another consideration. I personally was glad that my babysitters could
help with things that I couldn't do myself or wasn't comfortable with like
taking them to parks and stuff like that-the visual things.
Good luck to all of you.
And, by the way,Elizabeth, I'm sorry I neglected to congratulate you along
with everyone else.
Sharon
----- Original Message -----
From: "Jennifer Bazer" <jhipp25 at sc.rr.com>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, February 11, 2009 6:06 AM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Working outside or in the home
> Melissa,
>
> What eloquent writing. Thank you so very much for your thoughts, and yes,
> I
> read it all! Grin! You have so many valid points, and I believe, I may
> make a decision before the baby is born, and I may have to make changes,
> and
> that is okay. I will explore all options and visit some local private
> homes
> and day care centers.
>
> I work for the state of SC, and of course, I have to take leave when I
> have
> my baby. I will have leave for about 6 weeks, maybe, eight, if I don't
> have
> to take much time off during the year. If I run out of time, I have to
> take
> leave without pay and then, pay my health insurance. It is hard for me,
> at
> this stage, to think about placing a six week old infant in a child care
> center. That is so young.
>
> Thank you again for all the words to think about.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Melissa Ann Riccobono
> Sent: Tuesday, February 10, 2009 5:07 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Working outside or in the home
>
> This is absolutely true... There are some extremely hard choices, and the
> only person who can truly make them is you. Of course the baby's father
> should have a lot to say on the matter as well (smile) but you have to be
> comfortable with whatever you decide. If daycare feels right to you, and
> you have work that you love and don't want to give up, then go for it!
> Find
> a good day care, babysitter, nanny,or whatever and thrive in your work and
> being a mother too. Don't let anyone tell you you're wrong for making
> that
> choice--it is your choice to make. On the other hand, if you want to stay
> home, and/or stay at home and work, then do that. Again, don't let anyone
> look down on you for making that choice.
> I went back to work after my son was 3 months old. I was working
> part time, and I honestly thought this would be the best of both worlds
> for
> me. I had some days to spend at home with him, and I had my work. I was
> a
> school counselor, so I knew I would have school breaks, summer vacation,
> etc. to spend with him. I was reasonably satisfied with the day care he
> was
> in. But, eventually I started to feel I couldn't do either of my jobs
> well.
> I always felt the push and pull--stay late at school and miss time with
> Austin, but spend time on my job. Go right home to pick him up and be
> exhausted somedays and feel I wasn't giving him all the attention he
> needed.
> I was counseling everyone else's kids and started to feel bad that my own
> wasin day care which, however loving, just wasn't me. So, at the end of
> that school year I quit my job. I still miss it in some ways, especially
> the kids and my coworkers, but I have never really regretted my decision.
> Now that Austin is 2, I have just started putting him in daycare
> once a week. This is because I was recently elected president of the NFB
> of
> Maryland and have to attend a lot of meetings, at least at the moment, for
> this position. I also sell Discovery Toys from home (feel free to email
> me
> off list if you'd like more details it's a great way to earn some extra
> money, or even to earn a whole bunch if you want to go that route) and I
> am
> hoping I'll have some time to devote to my business as well. (So far,
> that
> hasn't happened!) I certainly had mixed feelings about putting him in day
> care. I really wanted to wiat until he was three and put him in a
> preschool
> program a couple of mornings a week. But, I also want him to be able to
> interact with other children, and I love for him to meet and interact with
> new people. So far, he loves it and has a lot of fun, so I think it's the
> right decision.
> Sorry this is so long... As you can tell, I have some strong
> feelings about this! I guess to sum this all up I just want to say trust
> your gut--some moms are thrilled to stay home and some really need the
> stimulation work provides, and some need and find ways to do both. Find
> what works for you. But, also, be flexible and reevaluate as time goes
> on.
> The great thing is most of the time you're not locked into a decision and
> you can change things if you find you don't like what you first decided.
> Also, in some ways this is a decision you can only truly make after your
> baby is born. You might think you know what you want to do, but babies
> have
> a strange way of changing your whole world and you might be surprised what
> you ultimately decide. Lastly, talk about this with your partner. I am
> lucky to have a husband who supports me in whatever I want to do. He was
> fine with me working, and would support me if I decided to go to work
> fulltime tomorrow. But, he's also glad I stay home, but also encourages
> me
> to find outlets for myself so I don't get stuck in a rut. Make sure you
> have conversations about this issue before the baby is born to make sure
> you
> are on the same page. It will save a lot of headaches later.
> Just my thoughts... Thanks for reading if you got this far!
> Melissa
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> Sent: Monday, February 09, 2009 11:41 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Working outside or in the home
>
> Hi. I've been fortunate enough to work from home so I can care for my
> daughter at the same time. But let me tell you, it isn't always easy.
> It's
>
> downright stressful when you're trying to get work done and your baby
> wants
> attention, and you feel pulled in different directions. I'm lucky because
> I
>
> can set my own hours, which means I work hard at night or when Sarah is
> napping, but it takes self-discipline to stick to that when all you want
> to
> do is sleep, or it's been a long day. The situation wouldn't work for
> everybody. Still, I'm glad I don't have to put my baby into the care of
> others right now.
>
> One thing I would say is that if you stay home, it's important to get out
> with your baby. Kids, even at young ages, in my opinion, need to be
> exposed
>
> to different environments and not just kept in the four walls of your
> home.
> Sarah and I have a great circle of supportive friends from my church
> already, and I don't mind leaving her with them for short periods. She
> hasn't really been around other children much, but I've been looking into
> a
> Mommy and Me group so that she can start to interact with some little
> ones.
>
> On the other hand, my sister's kids have been in day care for most of
> their
> lives, and they seem to be thriving. My sister found good home day care,
> and now for her youngest, she's chosen a center with music and gym
> programs.
>
> Her kids have done tumbling, too. Those activities would have been hard
> to
> provide at home, so there are advantages. It's really a personal
> decision,
> and you have to decide what is important to you and weigh the pros and
> cons
> of each choice.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds
> water."--Swedish proverb
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Pipi" <blahblahblah0822 at gmail.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, February 09, 2009 8:02 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Working outside or in the home
>
>
>>I can give my persoanl opinions on this, but just remember they are my
>>opinions. I don't want to scare or discourage anyone from using daycare
>>centers.
>> I've worked in childcare for 10 years now. And personally, I never
>>want my
>
>> daughter to be in a daycare center. and she will never ever go to a
>> home daycare unless it is a close friend or family member of mine. I
>> have heard
>
>> too many stories from friends about bad home daycares. And I've
>> experienced one with my nephew. We went to pick him up early one day.
>> There was a little boy who had his leg stuck in one of those floor
>> heating
>
>> vents. The daycare provider was telling him to get himself out because
>> it was his fault for taking the cover off in the first place. I didn't
>> like this. The kid should have never been able to get it off. It
>> should have been screwed in tightly. I know accidents happen, but that is
> rediculous.
>> And the way she handled it definitely wasn't right. My nephew didn't
>> return to that home daycare. Too many things can happen when there is
>> only
>
>> one person about. I know there are some great home daycares out there.
>> I'm just not a very trusting person when it comes to strangers and my
>> daughter. I run my own home daycare now, so i'm glad there are people
>> that
>
>> do trust and use them. Call me over protective I guess.
>> As for centers, do your homework, and do lots of it. There are lots of
>> magnificent centers. There are some ok ones. And there are ones that
>> should have been shut down by the state. I worked in one of the bad
>> ones for less than a week before I put in my two weeks notice. It was
>> shut down
>
>> not long after I left.
>> The other centers I worked in were pretty good. But even though they
>> are licensed daycares, rules get broken. Ratios get exceeded. I quit
>> one of the other daycares I worked at because I was pretty much taking
>> care of 23, 3 year olds on my own. The other person they hired to help
>> me liked to
>
>> call in sick quite a lot. And with budget cuts and all, the center
>> didn't have enough staff to cover when people called in sick. It's
>> little things like that, that make me not want my daughter in a daycare.
>> But again, do your homework. pop in to check out the center at all
>> different times of the day. Ask any and all questions you can think to
>> ask. Ask them about ratios and what they do when they are under staffed.
>> Ask about the foods they serve, nap times, when children are ill,
>> anything
>
>> and everything you can think to ask about. Like I said, there are
>> some great centers out there. You just have to find them.
>> As for me, I'm fortunate enough right now that I don't have to put my
>> daughter in a daycare. And I'm working on making it so I can continue
>> working from home. This is just my personal preference though. I'm an
>> over
>
>> protective mom who didn't ever think she'd be a mom. And I want my
>> miracle
>
>> baby happy, healthy, and well taken care of at all times. I don't want
>> to risk anything. So for now, the only people taking care of her, are
>> myself and close friends and family.
>> Pipi
>>
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