[blparent] need to think something out

Wed Apr 7 01:27:55 UTC 2010

we'd consider that if she wanted to be a stay-at=home mom and if I could 
bring in the money she does but neither of those situations is viable.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Elizabeth Cooks" <elizabethcooks at comcast.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, April 06, 2010 8:11 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] need to think something out

>I also think you mentioned that Cindy works.  Maybe you should switch roles 
>in that department.
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Eva Adams" <eadams15 at gmail.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, April 06, 2010 3:12 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] need to think something out
>
>
>> Scott,
>> I am sorry that u aren't enjoying fatherhood. Having a baby can change a 
>> lot, and stir up emotions u never knew u felt. Maybe sitting down by 
>> yourself, and thinking about everything would help. I mean think about do 
>> u love your baby? Do u think u could deal with leaving and not seeing 
>> your baby grow up? Could your feelings of resentment be that the baby is 
>> taking away from your time with Cindy? I know that my fiance has 
>> struggled with the fact that we don't have the alone time like we use to. 
>> That we don't go out by ourselves much. I think he had some of the same 
>> feelings as u do. I can tell that now that our daughter is 2 that he has 
>> calmed down a lot, and does seem to really enjoy being a father. He also 
>> had several fears about being a father, and if he would be good at it. I 
>> hope things get better for u soon. It is hard when a baby is just coming 
>> into the home. Hang in there.
>>
>> Eva
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Scott Lawlor" <sklawlor at mac.com>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Tuesday, April 06, 2010 12:01 PM
>> Subject: [blparent] need to think something out
>>
>>
>>> Hi.
>>>
>>> I hope you guys will indulge me as I think aloud a bit and maybe I could 
>>> use a bit of input, not necessarily what to do so much as maybe just 
>>> using the group as a sounding board of sorts if that's alright.
>>>
>>> Earlier this morning I was watching the baby and putting a diaper on 
>>> her. She was very wiggly and crying and I wasn't in a very good mood 
>>> anyway so I was annoyed and actually growled at her which was very over 
>>> the top.
>>>
>>> Cindy asked me if I regretted having a kid and I said that I did a 
>>> little. Add to this the notion that she really wants another one and I 
>>> don't think I can go through the baby stage again, no matter how 
>>> temporary things are.
>>> She asked me if I wanted to leave and I told her that part of me does 
>>> and part of me doesn't, an answer that I hate giving because it's quite 
>>> ambivalent.
>>>
>>> For the most part, I'm happy here and though I don't enjoy it that much 
>>> honestly, I take care of the baby alright.
>>>
>>> I just don't know.  It's not a question of whether either one of us is 
>>> worried about being single and alone, that's not a big deal for either 
>>> her or I actually.
>>>
>>> But she says if I'm going to resent a child, she'll pick up on that and 
>>> it won't be healthy for her or the rest of the family.
>>>
>>> I'm not sure if resent is the right word.
>>>
>>> We compliment each other in so many ways though, she cooks and I clean 
>>> up and do the dishes, she's way better with the finances and I'm better 
>>> with the laundry.
>>>
>>> Like I said, for the most part, I enjoy my life here with Cindy but 
>>> taking care of a baby, I'm not so sure of all that sometimes.
>>>
>>> It's not the work so much, the extra laundry, the diapering and all 
>>> that. I'm not sure what it is exactly.
>>>
>>> I know I enjoy my alone time more now than I used to I think.
>>>
>>> I hate feeling conflicted like this and it's not like I have to decide 
>>> right now whether to leave or not.  She did say though that if I wanted 
>>> to leave, it would be better now than later.
>>>
>>> I felt more comfortable and more capable when I was exclusively in a 
>>> support role, doing the laundry and all that other stuff.
>>>
>>> I remember she was crying really hard one time when I was holding her 
>>> and I had this image of me throwing her through the window, not a pretty 
>>> image and I'd never do something like that but those sorts of things 
>>> really concern me.
>>>
>>> No, being a parent of a new baby hasn't been exciting for me and I 
>>> haven't enjoyed it nearly as much as Cindy has and I wasn't excited 
>>> about having this kid and I think it's safe to say that she wanted this 
>>> child more than I.   I do better with kids who can actually talk and who 
>>> can at least tell you what they need to some extent.
>>>
>>> I hope I haven't rambled too much but I just felt that I needed to write 
>>> some things out a bit.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> blparent mailing list
>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>>> blparent:
>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/eadams15%40gmail.com
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>> blparent:
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/elizabethcooks%40comcast.net
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> blparent:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/sklawlor%40mac.com 