[blparent] Choosing Your Battles with Your Children

Wed Jan 13 05:35:27 UTC 2010

Hi.  I've had many of these same issues come up in the last two years.  It 
isn't easy getting used to having a child around who hasn't grown up with 
you because, as Veronica said, you want him to feel comfortable in your 
home.  Before Stephen started coming--and really, before I had my own 
baby--I was pretty obsessed with having everything in its place.  I've had 
to let go of a lot of that.  My best two bits worth of free advice is to 
prioritize.  Safety issues, like broken needles in the carpet or shoes left 
at the foot of the stairs, are non-negotiable, in my book.  The annoyances, 
like soggy cereal goo left in the sink or Popsicle wrappers in the living 
room, are things that I'll remind Stephen (and sometimes his dad) about, but 
I won't make a big deal about it because frankly, it isn't worth the energy 
for me and it isn't a battle I'm likely to win.  I just keep hoping with 
time and reminders that eventually the idea of picking up after oneself will 
stick.  So the short version is to decide what your priorities are so that 
you aren't trying to change a hundred bad habits at once, and sounding like 
a broken record that gets tuned out.  Good luck, and hang in there!

Jo Elizabeth

Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify 
the hunters.--African Proverb

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
Sent: Tuesday, January 12, 2010 9:06 PM
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Choosing Your Battles with Your Children

> You know this is a bery common delemma.  On one hand you say this is your
> home, thus, everything that belongs to you also belongs to them?  You are
> not alone inthis situation.   I hear these same complaints from the 
> parents
> of Gab's friends.  Heck, I have these same complaints myself.  The 
> scissors
> continuously disappear.  The box of bandaids have more than once become a
> first aid box for dolls and my sewing kit, although needles were not 
> broken,
> were borrowed and left in the carpet.
> Then there's the other side of the coin, she always asks to watch TV, 
> always
> asks if she can go out, never takes food without asking, never eats in the
> livingroom without first putting down a towel, never calls her friends
> without asking.
> I get so frustrated when things disappear and I can't find them.  I just
> keep reminding that some things are off limits even to her who lives in 
> this
> house. V
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Rhonda Scott
> Sent: Tuesday, January 12, 2010 2:40 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: [blparent] Choosing Your Battles with Your Children
>
> Hi all,
>
> How do some of you decide what is worth disciplining for, and what is 
> really
> not a huge deal? In our house we have quite a bit of fibbing and lying,
> which is a very sore spot with me. We also have a tiny bit of Deven 
> helping
> himself to things that don't belong to him because he feels he needs them
> for something he wants to do, or to food, which I don't mind so much 
> except
> he eats in the living room and leaves a trail behind him. It really is a
> matter of asking for that screwdriver he needs to take the lid off a 
> battery
> compartment to replace the batteries in a toy. But desk drawers where 
> those
> are kept are 1 of the places off limits. He recently took sewing needles
> from my sewing box because he wanted to poke holes in something, and he 
> did
> not take the time to tell me he broke those needles, or to clean up the
> remnants of the needles.
>
> So I'm frustrated, and trying to learn to pick my battles. I have tried
> explaining to him that some of the things he does can hurt people, like
> fragments of needles in carpets, and that asking would really get him a 
> lot
> further than taking. But no taking away of things or discussing, or
> explaining are getting me anywhere with him. Nothing he owns seems to mean
> enough to him that punishing him by taking toys and such away makes any
> difference.
>
> Thoughts and feedback appreciated.
>
> Rhonda
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blparent:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/madison_tewe%40spi
> nn.net
>
> No virus found in this incoming message.
> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
> Version: 9.0.725 / Virus Database: 270.14.134/2614 - Release Date: 
> 01/11/10
> 06:29:00
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> blparent:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/jopinto%40pcdesk.net
> 